


If I Had You

by AgapantoBlu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Acceptance, All the bad things that you see tagged are getting taken care of, Biphobia, Coming Out, F/M, Getting Together, Happens during the fic, Homophobia, I promise this is happier than it looks, Internalized Homophobia, Iwaizumi has it rough but he has people too, Kyoutani is scared for a moment but has people to help him, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Self-Acceptance, Skype, Text Format, Trans Character, Transitioning, in some parts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2018-08-12 00:39:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 48,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7913656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgapantoBlu/pseuds/AgapantoBlu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>    <em>“The thought hit him like a train, completely by surprise, nothing announcing the sudden realization that torched Kentarou’s entrails and squeezed all the blood out of his body, leaving him pale and shivering.</em><br/><br/>I want to kiss Yahaba.<em>”</em><br/></p>
</blockquote><p>Kyoutani doesn’t do well with discovering he may be different, so he does the only thing he can think about: calls his new best friend from Karasuno and jumps on a train to Tokyo with him, trying to sort out his feelings with a group of weirdos and some distance.</p><p>As always, it’s all Yahaba’s fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Money

 

**_Money_ **

 

His heart was going to explode, but he couldn’t stop. The muscles in his legs were burning and his breath got stuck in his throat at every desperate attempt to catch some air. It was barely a kilometer, from school to home, yet it felt ten times worse than practice, as if he was trying to run through thick jelly instead of a handful of people on the sidewalk. And the schoolbag bouncing against the back of his thighs at every lope wasn’t helping at all.

He turned the last corner so fast he almost slipped and catching his balance just in time only earned him a shout from the old lady on the other side of the street. Whatever, it wasn’t like she didn’t already hate his guts anyway.

The moment he almost slammed against his entrance door, having passed without seeing his courtyard, was also the moment he finally stopped to think.

His hand grabbed the hold and he gulped on his dried throat, his breath uneven and labored. He hesitated, though, and jerked when he heard the usually familiar bark of his dog from behind the door.

“Shhh, Jun, quiet,” he said out of habit, instinctively knocking a bit with his knuckles against the lower part of the door. From inside came one last grumpy yet excited bark before the silence and Kyoutani laid his forehead against the wood.

His shoulders were so stiff they hurt and he was still in his Aoba Josei uniform, the blazer opened on his shirt and his necktie abandoned somewhere in his bag. He was sweaty, having sprinted on a run as soon as training was finished, and still panting.

He should have gotten inside. He should have gotten in, thrown himself under a cold shower and sworn to never think those things again. He should have sworn it on his mother’s grave. He should have been normal, or at least acted like a fucking one.

“Dammit.” He punched the door once, he closed his eyes, he tried — _he tried so much_ — to steel himself into doing just that. “Dammit, dammit, dammit.” 

Jun whimpered lowly from inside, probably confused by the loud bangs against the door, and Kyoutani hushed him with low words despite the knot growing in his throat.

“Dammit!” and before he could stop himself he had already turned his back to the door and was running again.

Avoiding people just barely, he kept on staring ahead while his hand fished in his bag for his phone and he didn’t look at the device even as he unlocked it. The number he needed was on the three button anyway, the second speed dial after his father, and all he had to do was pressing it, maybe with a bit too much force, and bringing the mobile to his hear.

He cursed once more through clenched teeth on the first ring he heard, just as he reached the train station close to his house, but that was all the time he got.

_“Yo-oh, Kyoutani! What are you-”_

“Can I come over?” He gulped as he ran his pass through the machine and reached the first platform, “Now?”

_“Sure you can, you know that! Hey, are you okay?”_

_No._ “I’ll be there soon, I’m getting on the train now.”

_“Okay, but-”_ He hang up.

He couldn’t talk about that on the phone, so he just jumped through the open door just the moment before it closed and ignored a couple of glares to shuffle into a corner and stand with his back against the wall of the wagon. He’d rather stand than having a stranger so close to him as the seats allowed, anyway.

His breathing was calmer, but his heart was still racing and his fist was clenched too hard on his phone.

_Nothing_ was okay.

 

***

_You’re writing on **Seijou Is A Better Place Without Oikawa**_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** Oikawa-san, can I call you?_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** WHO RENAMED THIS?!_

_**HanaMakki:** take a wild gues_

_**MattsunKawa:** lol_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** WHAT’S WITH THIS GENERAL DISRESPECT?!_

_**HanaMakki:** sry to break the news like this_

_**MattsunKawa:** but you’re not the captain anymore_

_**HanaMakki:** which means_

_**MattsunKawa:** no respect_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** Okay, enough_  
_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** 1- You two stop talking in synch, it’s fucking creepy_  
_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** 2- Trashykawa, stop complaining against the truth_  
_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** 3- Indeed, *Yahaba* is the captain and you three all ignored him_  
_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** 4- Yahaba, feel free to call Oikawa. He’s just wasting space and oxygen in my room, he can be useful for a bit and talk to you_

_**HanaMakki:** k mom_

_**MattsunKawa:** sorry mom_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** I will end you._

_**EvilCreamPuff:** Thank you, mom._  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** Sorry, senpai. It was the autocorrect._

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** …_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** Yahaba-chan, I knew you’d make me proud._  
_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** Call me, by the way. Iwa-chan threw me down his bed, I need to complain._  
_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** Wait, is this fun related or team related?_

_**HanaMakki:** r u implying team stuff cant be fun?_

_**MattsunKawa:** i’m offended_

_**HanaMakki:** mortally offended_

_**MattsunKawa:** you’re unfriended_

_**HanaMakki:** blocked _

_**MattsunKawa:** my mom's calling your mom and you're not invited to my teen queen sweet sixteen summer beach bash birthday party_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** What the fuck_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** Kyoutani related._

_**MattsunKawa:** oh_

_**HanaMakki:** fuck_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** What did you two do this time?!_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** I complimented him_

_**HanaMakki:** …_

_**MattsunKawa:** …_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** … I’m missing something._

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** Kindaichi, report_

_**TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:** that’s really all that happened, Iwaizumi-san_  
_**TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:** we don’t know why Kyoutani ran away_

_**HanaMakki:** wat_

_**MattsunKawa:** what_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** What?!_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** Yahaba-chan, I’m calling you._

_**EvilCreamPuff:** Fucking finally._

***

 

Contrary to popular belief, Kyoutani _had_ a few friends. Sure, before the last tournament with Seijou, his answer would have been different, but coincidences and fate had worked a little miracle on his social life. And while he still couldn’t consider himself close to any of the others in the team — he hadn’t even told them he had a Skype, not even to Iwaizumi-san —, he had ended up befriending other three weirdos.

Three extremely caring weirdos.

The path to his friend’s house was easily imprinted in Kentarou’s mind, partially because it was easy but mainly because the only time he walked that before said person’s loud voice and boisterous bullshit had rendered it an unforgettable walk of shame. He kind of trotted hastily in front of the little mall his friend had tried to drag him in with the promise of meat buns and whose owner had yelled at them to go home and practice spikes for the whole time they’d been there.

In less than ten minutes he was in front of a wooden door and knocking anxiously.

It opened just a few seconds later to show the slim yet curvy shape of a young woman in gray sweatpants and green top, blond short hair adorning her face. Her hazel eyes barely scanned his hair before a grin spread on her face.

“Yo, Kyouken-chan!” she exclaimed happily, voice rich and powerful, and Kyoutani bowed his head a bit, huffing a greeting as she stepped aside to let him in. “It’s been a while since last time!”

Kyoutani had always had troubles dealing with Saeko. She was extrovert, confident, energetic and loud, just like her brother. Only that Kentarou felt no remorse in punching him to shut him up.

She seemed to understand though, because their conversations were more often than not simply her talking his ears off and being content with just some grunt here and there. It was cool. This time, she just pointed with her thumb to the inside of the house as soon as he was done taking his shoes off.

“Ryuu! Kyoken is here!” She yelled so loudly, Kyoutani wondered if her brother was on the other side of the city.

He found the other on the doorstep of his room, wearing a white t-shirt and sweatpants together with a worried expression under the buzz-cut. 

“You look awful,” he said as a greeting and Kyoutani snorted, shaking his head.

“Fuck you,” he grunted. He felt worse than awful.

Smiling as if reading his mind, Tanaka patted his shoulder as he gestured him inside the room.

 

***

_You’re writing on **BadBoysAndAGoodGirl**_

_**TanakaSenpai:** we have a problem_

_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** I have exams._  
_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** Your problem better be important._  
_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** Or else._

_**TanakaSenpai:** its not my problem its kyoutanis_  
_**TanakaSenpai:** i dont know what it is yet but it seemed important_  
_**TanakaSenpai:** and give me some credit would ya_

_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** On my cold dead body._  
_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** Kyou, are you okay?_

_**TanakaSenpai:** whats with the attitude change?!_

***

 

Tanaka had started off as a rival, to Kyoutani, but after Seijou’s loss against Karasuno something kind of switched.

The two of them had met in the bathroom, Ryou exclaiming something weird involving a certain “Hinata Curse”, but through glares and huffed underhanded compliments they had ended up trading Skype names, for future training purposes. Purposes that had gone down the drain in less than a week, when Tanaka had called yelling that he wanted to introduce Kyoutani to another couple of people absolutely.

Tanaka was a good friend. He was strong, he wasn’t intimidated by Kentarou’s looks and never judged from appearances. He said Kyoutani reminded him of one of his senpai at Karasuno, looking like a criminal while being a softie. Kentarou always punched him whenever he said that, but he didn’t really mind. Not to mention, contrary to common belief, Tanaka was a good listener.

Tanaka was also bisexual and in love with a man.

Kyoutani hissed what had happened while sitting on Ryou’s bed, side by side as if to make sure the whispers didn’t reach anybody else; their bodies shifting toward each other’s to protect the secret in between them. Their shoulders leaned heavily in each other’s and Tanaka had circled his shoulders with an arm and only tightened his grip as the story went on, otherwise being quiet and still. At the end, he scratched his head with his free hand.

“You’ve got it rough, uh?” he simply stated, maybe a bit uncertain, and Kentarou grunted because that was a good euphemism. “So?,” Ryou pushed, “What are you gonna do now?”

_Ran away. Hiding forever. Disappear._

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be here!” he growled instead, but Tanaka just slapped his nape gently.

“You’re hopeless,” he stated, shaking his head as if he were anything better, but Kyoutani only managed a poisonous “Asshole” before the other had already conveyed his whole attention to his phone.

Not good.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Kentarou growled with a frown.

“Calling the others,” was the brief retort that came accompanied by a series of pings, in a cheerful tone that seemed out of place in the heavy atmosphere. 

Tanaka typed away for a bit before looking once more at Kentarou, his eyes shining in something akin to excitement. And then he said the words of doom that crushed that little of hope Seijou’s spiker had left. 

“So, I’ve got a plan.”

 

***

_You’re writing on **BadBoysAndAGoodGirl**_

_**TanakaSenpai:** so intervention in tokyo?_  
_**TanakaSenpai:**  yamamoto, youre my man but why cant you ever board a train for your life?!_

_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** I need to be in Tokyo tomorrow morning to visit universities. If I’m gonna waste today instead of studying, I’m gonna get you all to accompany me there._

_**Nekoma’sAce:**  misaki-sama has spken_

_**KyouKen:** You all need therapy._

***

 

Kyoutani didn’t like owing. Be it favors, money or anything, he didn’t like being in debt with anyone. One could never trust what people would demand in exchange. But he also knew when to stop being stubborn — a certain person taught him that by slamming him into a fucking wall — and he was perfectly aware than his wallet did not contain enough money for an impromptu trip to Tokyo.

Still, he glared at Tanaka’s hands as he paid for both their tickets.

“Kyoutani, really, take it easy.” Ryou was a fucking psychic and it always pissed him off. “You’ve got enough to worry with as it is, okay?”

A grunt. That was Kyoutani’s standard answer — for people he liked; for people he didn’t like, it was ‘Fuck you’ —, but Tanaka only laughed and they moved to their train. 

It would have been quite a ride and it was afternoon already so they’d have had to stay overnight. Saeko had been perfectly fine with that, but Kyoutani still had to tell his dad. He opted for a brief text offering no explanation for his actions but including Tanaka’s name and his dad answered shortly after to let him know he’d tell the school he wouldn’t attend next morning.

“Your dad seems chill,” Ryou commented as they sat down across each other. “You think he’d be okay with it?”

Kentarou’s “Dunno” was almost lost in the sound of the train coming to life and Tanaka let him be, offering only the silent comfort of their knees occasionally bumping together.

 

***

_You’re writing to **AzumaneAsahi**_

_**TanakaSenpai:** hey asahi-san can I ask for a favor?_

_**AzumaneAsahi:** Hi, Tanaka. Sure, what can I do?_

_**TanakaSenpai:** great!_  
_**TanakaSenpai:** cover for me with daichi-san for tomorrows practice ok?_  
_**TanakaSenpai:** thank you!_

_**AzumaneAsahi:** WAIT, WHAT?!_  
_**AzumaneAsahi:** TANAKA, WAIT, HE’S GOING TO KILL ME!_  
_**AzunameAsahi:** IS THIS YOUR PLOY TO BECOME KARASUNO’S ACE?!_  
_**AzumaneAsahi:** ARE YOU TRYING TO GET RID OF ME?!_  
_**AzumaneAsahi:** I’M GRADUATING SOON, YOU DONT NEED TO GET ME KILLED, TANAKA, PLEASE, DON’T DO THIS DO ME, TELL ME IT’S ALL A PRANK AND YOU’LL BE AT PRACTICE TOMORROW_  
_**AzumaneAsahi:** TANAKA?!_

_**TanakaSenpai:** your wimp is showing_

_**AzumaneAsahi:** I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE_

***

 

Tanaka hadn’t known Kyoutani for a long time, but sometimes it felt that way.

They were sitting on a bench at the platform, in front of the empty binary their train was supposed to arrive at, and Kyoutani was glaring dagger at the floor in between his lightly spread legs, elbows resting on his thighs. He didn’t seem as freaked out as confused, lost somewhere he didn’t know how to approach, and Ryounosuke had the temptation to grab his shoulders, bump their foreheads together and promising that it would be alright.

Except he knew he would probably get punched if he did something like that.

Kentarou was a lonely kid, but one that also strived to get some closure, somewhere. He probably didn’t even care where, which left him open to possible awful choices of friends. Ryou hadn’t had any major reason to befriend him if not his hair — those hair were sick, damn — but it had rapidly evolved into more. Volleyball, attitude, music tastes. They had so much in common it had been natural to shift from polite rival-to-rival conversations to “Did you fucking listen to the last track?! It’s awesome! Let’s do that, next time!”.

A metallic supposed-to-be-feminine voice announced their train was arriving and both the guys silently stood up to approach the yellow line.

Tanaka had learnt a few things about Kyoutani in the time they had been friend, little secrets that hid a bigger character that the first appearance would let out. 

He knew that Kentarou wasn’t really good at talking with his father because the man was such a meek and kind person sometimes people thought they weren’t related at all; that he styled his hair that way to make it look like his dog’s fur and that he wore eyeliner in a mall’s bathroom on his path to school not to let anybody in the neighborhood know; that he used to play guitar with his mom but stopped after she left and that all he did now was singing to himself when he was alone at home and his dog’s steady breath wasn’t enough to fill the space. He knew that Kentarou had a sick voice that nobody would expect from him. He knew that he liked being in a band with him, but would die of embarrassment if his teammates were to know, so he hadn’t told anyone at school.

He knew one more secret of Kentarou, but, that secret, not even Kyoutani knew much about yet.

 

***

_You’re writing to **Iwaizumi Hajime**_

_**HanaMakki:** jks aside how bad is it??_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** I have no idea, Oikawa is barricaded in my bathroom._

_**HanaMakki:** do i want to know_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** He said it’s “a classified matter”._

_**HanaMakki:** srsly he needs to stop with all that alien crap_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** You know “classified” is a law term, right?_

_**HanaMakki:** i do but does he?_  
_**HanaMakki:** you really want me to believe he wasnt thinking abt aliens?_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** Right._

_**HanaMakki:** i kno_

***

 

She got on their wagon just a couple of stations later. Her short brown hair brushed against her shoulders as she placed a hand on her hip and glared down at them with the kind-of-parental scolding expression that only a club manager with three years of experience could muster up.

Tanaka looked apologetic and went ignored, but Kyoutani held her gaze, wondering how much she really was angry and how much she was worried instead. Enough of the latter to pick up her things and abandon her studying for entrance exams just to jump on a train with a couple of underclassmen from other schools, apparently.

Her brown eyes seemed to be patting him on the head, but she didn’t do such a thing and instead plopped down on the seat beside his.

“Might as well never graduate,” she huffed. “I’d never expected I’d see the day where it’s not Terushima the one starting the conversation with ‘We have a problem’.”

“Sorry, Misaki-san,” Tanaka dutifully bowed, earning himself a kick to the shin under Kyoutani’s amused smirk.

She took out some books from her bag and went to study, Tanaka resumed looking outside the window and Kyoutani put back on his headphones. 

He did not comment on the thigh brushing against his every now and then.

 

***

_You’re writing on **BadBoysAndAGoodGirl**_

_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** We’re almost there, ten minutes at most._

_**Nekoma’sAce:** y did u rite it hear? u 3 r litteraly togeter!_

_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** Your spelling is painful to watch, I’ve got to share my suffering._

***

 

Tokyo train station was too big for three kids from Miyagi to even consider attempting to find the exit on their own so they simply called for help.

Well, Tanaka literally called for help theatrically crying on the phone as Kentarou and Misaki tried to pretend not to know him.

Help came shortly after in the form of a tall spiker with short hair died blond in a stripe in the centre of his head, over-excitedly calling their names and overall making a fool of himself while running arms open in Tanaka’s embrace.

Misaki shared a sympathetic look with Kyoutani and he felt a little better. He liked both Tanaka and Yamamoto, but dealing with them together required a level of stamina Kentarou had yet to develop. At least, the older girl could keep them in check.

Many manly tears later, Yamamoto patted Kyoutani’s back, bowed to Misaki and finally led them out of the little crowd that had been staring at their group in confusion.

 

***

_You’re writing on **Karasuno’s Family Group Chat**_

_**AzumaneAsahi:** Daichi, please, don’t kill me._

_**Sawamura Dadchi:** Your training menu is doubled._

_**Azumane Asahi:** What for?!_

_**Sawamura Dadchi:** Because I know I’m going to be angry when you’ll be done telling me._

_**Sugamama Koushi:** It’s not Asahi. He wouldn’t bring it up on the group chat if he were._  
_**Sugamama Koushi:** And it’s not one of the first years because they would have told *me*._  
_**Sugamama Koushi:** So_  
_**Sugamama Koushi:** Nishinoya or Tanaka, come forth and embrace your punishment._

_**RawlingThunder:** SUGA-SAN, YOU’RE TERRIFYING, CHANGE THAT NAME, IT DOESN’T SUIT YOU!_

_**Sugamama Koushi:** For the umpteenth time, that’s not how you write “Rolling Thunder”._  
_**Sugamama Koushi:** And it’s tradition of Karasuno that the Captain is the Dad and the Vice-Captain is the Mom and none of you can strip me of that role!_

_**En-No-Shit:** You just like it because it gives you a sense of power when you’re dealing with Oikawa and everybody in Seijou is bullying him_

_**Sugamama Koushi:** Ennoshita, you’re gonna be a Dad soon, start acting accordingly!_

_**Sawamura Dadchi:** So it’s Tanaka. Ennoshita never sides against Suga._

_**En-No-Shit:** Dammit_

***

 

Yamamoto was already Tanaka’s friend when Kentarou had met him, while Misaki… well, nobody really knew how Misaki slipped inside their group. One day she offered to play with them when she heard they didn’t have anybody for the keyboard and somehow she never left. She was the senpai keeping the three of them in check and sometimes when she scolded them for something people would stop and stare at the little girl and the three delinquent-looking taller guys apologizing to her.

Kyoutani found it funny, in the end. She was much a better senpai than Oikawa, for sure. Not as good as Iwaizumi, she wasn’t as strong, but she was always up to play arm wrestling with them even if she always lost. It wasn’t bad.

In their four teams, the only commonly known friendship was between Tanaka and Yamamoto. Not that it was a secret, but Misaki had retired already and Kentarou didn’t really feel the need to inform anybody of whom he hung out with.

Still, he needed to inform at least someone that he wouldn’t be at practice the following day. So, as they waited at the bus station and purposefully ignoring his captain’s number, he called Iwaizumi, but obviously Oikawa was with him and answered in his place. Kentarou could hear the spiker’s furious protests in the background noise.

_“Hey, Kyouken-chan~! Missing me, already?”_

“As if.”

_“Rude much! I-”_ There was a rustling sound and Kyoutani waited patiently for the fight to finish, savoring Oikawa’s pained yelp that came in the end, before Iwaizumi finally spoke, _“Oi, Kyoutani. Everything okay? It’s not like you to call.”_

“I won’t be at practice tomorrow, I’m in Tokyo.”

_“You know you should be telling Yahaba, right? We retired already.”_

“Won’t answer his phone,” Kyoutani lied promptly, his free hand clenching in a fist suddenly at the name.

_“Oh, really? That’s weird. Well, I’ll tell him at school. Thank you for warning beforehand, I guess. When will you be back?”_

“Tomorrow, but not in time for morning practice.”

_“What about afternoon?”_

Kentarou shot a look at Tanaka, across him, but the other shrugged at him, clearly not that psychic anymore, and the old lady sitting at his right glared at him from behind her glasses.

“Maybe,” he decided. Yamamoto bumped their shoulders together in a supportive gesture. 

_“Let me know, then, I’ll tell coach. Are you okay, though?”_

_No._ “Yes.”

_“… Good. See you.”_

Kyoutani hang up with the knot in his throat growing bigger once more. Being with those three always managed to drain his mental energy, leaving him unable to think about anything else, but now that his mind had been redirected to the main point, he felt on the verge of breaking.

Misaki shot him a worried look from Tanaka’s left, but said nothing in the crowd of their bus and he was grateful. Tanaka checked the number of stops before theirs once more, as if it couldn’t come fast enough, and Yamamoto muttered a low “We’re almost there” in his ear.

He nodded and closed his eyes.

 

***

_You’re writing on **Seijou Is A Better Place Without Oikawa**_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** Oikawa-san?_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** Is everything alright? I heard a weird sound and the line fell?_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** He’s fine._  
_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** He heard Kyoutani was calling me and shot out of the bathroom to tackle me and answer in my place._  
_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** Thinking better, he’s not fine._  
_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** I’m going to kill him so tell him goodbye._

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** Mean, Iwa-chan!_

_**HanaMakki:** bye_

_**MattsunKawa:** bye_

_**TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:** goodbye, Oikawa-san_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** This is treason!_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** Goodbye, Oikawa-san._

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** ON WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU_

_**Kunimi:** this group chat is a fucking mess._

_**HanaMakki:** HE LIVES_

_**MattsunKawa:** a wild kunimi appears_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** I don’t mean to belittle wild Kunimi’s appearance,_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** but what did Kyoutani want?_

_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** He’s in Tokyo, apparently. _  
_**Iwaizumi Hajime:** He’ll be back tomorrow, perhaps for afternoon practice._

_**TunipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:** maybe he ran away because he had an emergency?_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** Mmm._

_**EvilCreamPuff:** What does ‘Mmm’ mean?_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:** Nothing at all~!_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** It doesn’t mean ‘nothing’, Oikawa-san, what was that?_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** Oikawa-san?_

_**☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆** is off-line._

_**EvilCreamPuff:** Well, then._  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** You’re gonna regret it, Oikawa-san._

_**EvilCreamPuff** is off-line._

_**HanaMakki:** what did i just witnessed_

_**Kunimi:** Hell’s awakening._

***

 

_Yahaba always glared, always. If you asked anybody else, they’d tell you he was polite, kind, patient, the perfect Oikawa-san 2.0, but to Kyoutani for a long Yahaba had meant glares burning holes into his back and vanishing every time he turned._

_And after all the mental strength it took him to go back to club activities despite Oikawa’s nicknames, Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s pranks, the other second years’ wary looks and the first years’ terrified expressions, he really wasn’t in the mood to accept any reminder of the time he had been gone. He knew he had made a stupid ass decision, it had seemed like the best choice back when he was in his first year and the third years of the time were trying to drive him out of the team, but it didn’t mean it was alright to hold it against him for the rest of his life._

_He didn’t deny he was brash and stupid when he came back, though. When the time to get into play came, he couldn’t properly trust his teammates. Couldn’t trust Kindaichi to make a good spike, couldn’t trust Oikawa to give him a good serve, couldn’t trust anybody to make points but himself._

_He made so many mistakes Yahaba’s burning eyes didn’t come as a surprise, but the harsh grip on his shirt, the heavy wall against his aching back and the venom in the yelling he heard for the first time was more than he’d have expected._

_Most of all, it wasn’t rejection. Yahaba didn’t tell him “You fucked us up”. Yahaba told him “If you fuck our chances up, I’ll fuck you up”. Not with those words, obviously, a proper Oikawa 2.0 could never speak that way, but still._

_Yahaba had given him a new opening even when they had been on the court together, briefly after Shigeru had been put in as a pinch server. His one and only toss had gone to Kyoutani._

_When he had seen the ball coming his way, Kentarou had refused to give it up, even if it wasn’t a good one, even if it wasn’t as accurate as Oikawa’s. He spiked it with his left hand just not to waste it and the sound of leather hitting the floor had lifted a weight off of him._

_Yahaba had yelled at him again, but in cheers, his voice filling Kentarou of a new strength._

Oh, _he had thought, surprised, when he had realized that this time nobody was trying to get him to leave or to avoid him. The more points he scored, the more times he felt hands slapping his back or his shoulders; the more voices shouted encouragements at him; the softer Yahaba’s eyes went, rage taken over by a mixture of pride and hope._

_And then they lost._

_Kyoutani had been ready for more yelling, but Yahaba had said only one thing in the whole time from the end of the match to the moment they separated after eating ramen all together._

_“We’re taking them down next time,” he had said, a strong declaration he had made while facing first and second years alike, under the third years’ teary eyes in a restaurant that had just sent Oikawa bankrupt._

_Kyoutani doubted Shigeru had any idea how relieving it had been for him to be looked in the eyes as he said “next time”, so he had trained silently. He had gone to practice, he had trained at the association in his free time, he had strived to stay calm, to smoother his expression a bit, to listen. He had thought his efforts hadn’t been noticed until today._

_He wasn’t looking for recognition, really, and he was perfectly aware of what all the second years thought about the holes he needed to fill — except maybe Watari, because Watari didn’t have a mean bone in his whole body, because Watari was just happy to have him back and always told him ‘Good work’ at the end of every practice before they entered the locker room —. But that was why Yahaba’s stare on him after one evening practice had made him think a scolding was coming._

_Because, really, things were going better, but Shigeru’s habit to nag at him 24/7 was still there, as annoying as ever, leading to shouts and fights that were the new Aoba Josai's normality._

_“You’re doing well. I’m impressed. You really are going to fit in perfectly next year.” A smile, a genuine one in a chorus of nodding heads and whispered complimentary words. “We’ll be counting on you, then, Ace.”_

_Yahaba’s eyes had little wrinkles at the sides when he was happy and a dimple on his left cheek. Yahaba’s body looked shorter with his hands crossed in front of his chest and an amicable expression; it looked reachable, at Kyoutani’s level. Yahaba’s lips looked soft as they opened on a hopeful word._

_The thought hit him like a train, completely by surprise, nothing announcing the sudden realization that torched Kentarou’s entrails and squeezed all the blood out of his body, leaving him pale and shivering._

I want to kiss Yahaba.

_And Kyoutani had ran out of the locker room with Shigeru’s voice yelling his name, for the first time in worry._

 

***

_You’re writing to **CrazyBedHead**_

_**Sawamura Dadchi:** Kuroo, I need an information._  
_**Sawamura Dadchi:** Apparently Tanaka is in Tokyo, do you know anything about it?_  
_**Sawamura Dadchi:** P.S. I see someone took hold of your Skype name again._

_**CrazyBedHead:** Yeah, Yaku, that bastard. I lost a bet and now I can’t change it for a month. D: <_  
_**CrazyBedHead:** By the way, yeah, I know, Yamamoto is with him, he called me a while ago -.-”_  
_**CrazyBedHead:** Want me to bail them out if they get arrested? :)_

_**Sawamura Dadchi:** Thank you, I’ll pay you back if it were to happen._  
_**Sawamura Dadchi:** And you’ve been lucky, Yaku could have done much worse._

_**CrazyBedHead:** Don’t mention it, I’m always this kind 0:)_  
_**CrazyBedHead:** And you think I don’t know? -.-_

***

 

Kyoutani didn’t like people. 

Kyoutani didn’t like girls.

Kyoutani was scared he may like boys.

 

***

_You’re writing to **KenmaKitten**_

_**CrazyBedHead:** If Yamamoto and Karasuno’s baldie get arrested, can you lend me the money to bail them out? :3_

_**KenmaKitten:** Im broke n u r the capt _  
_**KenmaKitten:** call yaku_

_**CrazyBedHead:** For someone who spends so much time typing, your spelling is gross -.-_

_**KenmaKitten:** its convenient n saves time_

***

 

“Here we are.”

“Yamamoto, you know you’re my man, but _what the fuck_?!”

“HEY! You said he was confused!”

“And in which fucking universe it’s a good idea to drag him to a gay club, exactly?!”

_So noisy._ Kentarou couldn’t stop throwing glances around, trying to gauge if any passerby was listening to their — absurd — conversation or looking at Misaki trying to choke Yamamoto to death. Apparently it wasn’t enough of a show because the little people passing in front of the bar they’d stopped by didn’t even as much as slow down to their bantering.

Which was good, because Kyoutani really didn’t want to call Yahaba or Iwaizumi to tell them he’d be forced out of the club for getting himself arrested. There were already enough baseless rumors as it was.

It wasn’t a late hour, barely six, but the days were still short and the night sky was a deep blue that peeked down on them from in between lampposts and neon signpost. The air was cold and both Kentarou and Tanaka were buried deep into their jackets’ collars, while Misaki had a cute red scarf wrapped on not much differently from how her hands were around Yamamoto’s neck.

That was the day they all went to jail for murder, Kyoutani knew that.

“I’m going in.”

Tanaka’s head was the first to whip in his direction, just for his whole body to get a spasm when the cold wind managed to sneak into his collar, but the other two followed shortly after with confused and worried expressions.

“Kyoutani, you don’t have to,” Misaki reassured. “This idiot here didn’t considered something like this was probably a bit too much for a start, after all. Not to mention, you’re all _underage_ and…”

“It’s okay.” _No, it isn’t, it isn’t, it fucking isn’t if I can’t fucking understand._ “Let’s get this over with.”

Tanaka looked on the verge of objecting, but Yamamoto prevented him. “Kyouken, really, I’m sorry. I didn’t think this through, I’ll admit. We can just go to my place and…”

“…and talk and do each other’s nails as in every proper sleepover?” Kyoutani rolled his eyes, almost snorting, “That sure would be gay as fuck.”

In Tanaka’s defense, he did try not to laugh. He failed miserably, but he tried. Misaki still punched him in the arm, hard enough to make him wince, as Yamamoto looked unsure if he was supposed to feel relieved or dig himself a grave.

Kyoutani sighed. Silently appreciating the support, he moved to approach the entrance door like a child would with a cage of lions.

_Half excited, half terrified._

He was still in his school uniform, he had just gotten ridden of blazer and the necktie was still resting peacefully in his gym bag; he had just borrowed one of Yamamoto’s black jacket to wear on his shirt. Tanaka looked like his sister dressed him up to cosplay as her, which meant better looking than with the crap he usually pulled out of his wardrobe — probably in the dark and put on with his eyes closed —, while Misaki looked cute enough in her bordeaux dress with black leggins to get herself five or six sugar mommies. They would have probably mingled well enough.

 

***

_You’re writing to **Watari Shinji InTheRobot**_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** I thought we were doing fine! He seemed to fit so much better with the rest of the team!_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** And then he takes and runs away?! What the fuck?!_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** Did I say something weird? Because I can’t stop thinking about it!_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** I don’t think I did? It doesn’t seem to me?_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** What do you think?_

_**Watari Shinji InTheRobot:** I think you look like a middle schooler with a crush…_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** Fuck you, Watari, I’m serious here!_

_**Watari Shinji InTheRobot:** Listen, Yahaba, he’s probably not used at being complimented like that…_  
_**Watari Shinji InTheRobot:** Especially by you…_  
_**Watari Shinji InTheRobot:** Maybe he just got embarrassed and is not good at handling compliments…_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** I thought so too, but when I told Oikawa-san_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** I don’t know, he made a weird sound._  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** You know the kind of laugh/snort he used to make whenever Iwaizumi-san didn’t notice something obvious? That one._  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** The “I-Know-Something-You-Don’t-But-Should” laughter._  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** What am I missing?_

_**Watari Shinji InTheRobot:** *laughs the I-Know-Something-You-Don’t-But-Should-Laughter*_

_**EvilCreamPuff:** YOU TOO?!_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** WHAT’S WITH THIS TEAM?!_  
_**EvilCreamPuff:** WHY DOES EVERYBODY FEEL THIS URGE TO BULLY THE CAPTAIN?!_

***

 

_Wrong._

There were so many people, so many, and he had never done well with crowds, at all. Bodies were pushing against each others in the entrance corridor and once it reached the main room there were still too many. The counter looked packed and the dance floor slightly less, the lights were low and the dark shadows everywhere made the space looked littler, too little, too little, too little, by the second.

_Wrong._

The air was thick, a mixture of sweat and deodorant and the sharp smell of alcohol. People moved around talking loudly to be heard over the sound of the pumping music and flashes from spotlights sometimes blinded people randomly.

_Wrong._

In the crowd, he managed to make out only some faces and just for some seconds before his brain spun around again, overwhelmed. There were three couples of girls and around five of guys. A couple was making out on a couch at the side, but it was too dark to determine their features. Someone passed him by and accidentally bumped into his shoulder, but when Kyoutani turned to growl something he froze.

_I…_

“Sorry!” the guy shouted at him as he followed another man, hand in hand, to the dance floor, laughing and pushing at his back with his free arm. His companion just turned a moment to grab even the other wrist and pull him in to claim his mouth.

_I want…_

It was just a short contact, broken here and there by giggles and chuckles, but their chests and waists moved closer to touch and then one’s hands were on the other’s hips and other’s fingers where into one’s hair. They danced in the middle of the crowd that didn’t even spare them a second glance, like it was simply the norm and it was, indeed, there, Kentarou knew that, but it was still so unreal.

_I want…_

The guy that bumped into Kentarou grabbed the other’s face firmly and pressed their mouth together. A swift of his waist, fingers slipping up under the hem of his shirt, a little bending of the head and a glimpse of a tongue as he caressed his lover’s cheeks.

_I want that._

Kyoutani turned and ran.

***

 

_One Unread Message_

_From: Dad_  
_Text: Did you make it to your friend’s house? Is everything okay?_

***

 

Tanaka tried to call out to him when he saw Kentarou’s face as he passed him by to push his way through the exit, but in the chaos of the place and of Ken’s own mind he went unheard.

“You idiot, you know he’s got a problem with crowds!” Misaki was hissing, hitting Yamamoto as they both tried to chase after their friend, but Ryou didn’t wait for them long enough to hear the eventual answer.

He followed the trail of offended customers to the door, imagining how it must feel for Kyoutani to have all those bodies brushing against his, invading his space, leaving hot marks on his skin. He ran faster and got to see the blond guy pushing the door open and stumbling out.

He followed right after and managed to catch him by the arm just barely before he collapsed on the sidewalk.

 

***

_Two Unread Messages_

_From: Dad_  
_Text: Kentarou?_

***

 

Kyoutani couldn’t breath. He was panting and his chest was heaving, but he couldn’t breathe, he wasn’t breathing, his lungs were still filled with the thick air from inside and his body was burning with the unwanted touches his escape had caught for him.

He must have looked like a freak, so his first instinct when someone grabbed his wrist was to turn and punch. His aim was so bad and his balance so fucked up, he simply fell into the other person’s arms and he flailed, trying to get away.

“It’s me! Kyoutani, it’s just me, Tanaka, okay?! Just me!”

The air was quiet outside the local. No smoke, no smell of alcohol, nor loud noises. At most, some cars passing by and a loud TV from an open window just above their heads. That wasn’t a much frequented side of the city apparently, and for that Kentarou was very much grateful.

He had stopped immediately at the voice he had recognized and then stood completely motionless. Now, hands slipped from his wrists to his shoulders to grip them firmly and force them to slow their up and down motion. Whispered “Calm down”s were followed by a chin nesting his forehead against a familiar neck and the known scent of Tanaka’s smell eased him down a little bit more.

He was still panting, though, and he gulped just to find out a big knot somewhere in his throat, chocking down a bestial sound that was trying to surge from his diaphragm. Without thinking, he grabbed harshly on Ryou’s jacket sleeves. He tried to gulp down again.

Kyoutani didn’t like to show weakness, but Kyoutani was also falling apart.

_I want that._ The thought filled his mind louder than the music from inside and sent shivers down his spine.

As the anxiety cooled down slowly, the thought became more prominent, making him whine. Did that mean he was…?

“That was a stupid idea, sorry, man.”

Kyoutani startled, suddenly letting go of Tanaka, as he felt a hand tentatively touching his back. He turned to one Yamamoto with the face of a kicked puppy, Misaki just behind him and looking one step from calling an ambulance.

“I look like shit,” he deduced. His voice cracked like he wasn’t pathetic enough already.

“I’ve seen worse,” Yamamoto offered sheepishly, forcing a smile on his lips. “Kuroo’s bed head, for example.”

Tanaka snorted and he was still so close Kyoutani felt, rather than hear, the movement of the other’s ribcage against his side.

There were many fingers on his skin, feathery touches that soothed him without intruding, and the three bodies crowding around his looked more like a protective wall against the outside, than a cage locking him in. Still, when he gulped again, the knot grew bigger. 

“I think-… I-…” What did he think?! He had no fucking idea what he was thinking! “I thought…” But what if…? “I-… I don’t-…”

He wasn’t going to cry. His foggy vision didn’t mean anything and he ran a arm over his eyes violently as if to remind himself just that.

“Hey,” again, one gentle touch on his wrist and Tanaka’s for once serious expression came into the focus of his blurred sight. “Let’s go home, okay?”

Silent nods and they were walking down the street, Kentarou in between Tanaka and Misaki as Yamamoto lead the way. The fleeting touches were what kept Kyoutani up and moving the whole time.

 

***

_To: Dad_  
_Text: Sorry, didn’t hear the phone. I’m at Yamamoto’s place, number’s on the fridge if you need it. Night._

_From: Dad_  
_Text: Alright. Night._

***

 

Misaki was a Mistress in distracting people, so it didn’t really came as a surprise that Yamamoto’s mother didn’t realize the distress Kentarou had been in when they had walked inside her house. He had rapidly excused himself to the bathroom and disappeared as the other three concluded the greetings for him. 

The guy in the mirror looked like absolute shit. 

His eyeliner was completely smudged and, fuck, those other three could have at least warned him that he had been walking around Tokyo like the creepier male version of a bulky Harley Queen. His cheeks were still red just like his lips, in contrast with how generally pale the rest of his skin was. His jacket was crumpled and he swore it stunk of alcohol so he just took it off and threw it on the floor at his own feet with rage.

“Fuck!” He pressed the heels of his palms on his eyes, pushing hard as if he could physically send back the tears still hiding there to wherever they came from. He had no fucking idea how tears worked, to be honest, but who cared. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

This hadn’t helped at all. For a moment, he thought he knew, but his skin was still prickling there where the guy had bumped into him and it was… _disgusting, awful, terrible_. He wanted to peel his skin off, but he had already felt like that before.  

He used to feel that way all the time in middle school, whenever someone touched him, so did that mean he was an homophobic asshole or just a more general asshole? He had no problems whatsoever with Tanaka, but neither he had with Watari or Yahaba or Iwaizumi when they patted his back, so could he really say it was a problem he had with everybody? Did he have a problem only with some people and not others? He didn’t think he was homophobic, really, but he had felt like puking the whole time they had been in the club, yet not on the train. Could he really be gay if he felt that way?

The door suddenly opened and he jerked with a curse well stuck within his clenched teeth. 

Tanaka simply looked up at him with an arched brow as he closed the door silently behind himself.

“What about knocking, bastard?” Kyoutani turned back to the sink in a hurry and opened the water to splash his face before his friend could see — more than he already had — what kind of fucked up mess he was.

Tanaka waited for him to be drying his face before he shrugged. “You wouldn’t have let me in.”

Kentarou frowned, thinking. “The door _was_ locked.”

“I borrowed the spare key,” Tanaka declared, looking all proud of what he had accomplished.

Kyoutani hissed a “Creep” under his breath, but let the topic fall. There must have been a reason for Ryou to act that way and he wasn’t sure what it was. He had a general idea, but still.

Yamamoto and Misaki were arguing in the other room, something like Taketora freaking out about her sleeping in their same room and Hana refusing two let ‘two idiots handling the situation’. The low giggling was probably the house mistress enjoying the show of his son’s flustered state. After all, everybody knew that Yamamoto was fundamentally harmless.

“Oi, Kyoutani.” 

He blinked once, surprised, as he came back hard to the little space of the bathroom, and he got caught by the way Tanaka was worrying his lower lip, his forehead frowned.

He seemed to be deep in thinking, or maybe re-evaluating, but in the end his eyes were firm when he said: “Do you want to try it with me?”

Kentarou startled, eyes wide.

“Kissing, I meant.”

“I know what you fucking meant!” he half shouted, and immediately after he bit his own tongue. The both of them stood frozen, listening, but Hana and Taketora were still going on with their quarrel and after almost a full minute Kyoutani was free to glare at Ryou again. “Are you even serious?”

Tanaka didn’t miss a beat. “Yes.”

Oh. That wasn’t something Kyoutani had expected. When he had gone to Ryou’s place, he just needed advice. Not a bad experience with a gay bar and his most definitely taken friend offering a kiss. _Speaking about taken…_

“Chikara said it’s okay.”

“Stop fucking reading my mind, asshole!”

“Not my fault you’ve got that face!”

“Fuck you.”

Tanaka grinned evilly. “Sorry, Chikara said ‘just one kiss’.”

Kyoutani was seriously considering throwing the toilet paper roll at him, but instead chose to behave. He would choke the other in his sleep, maybe. At the moment, instead, he frowned as the words finally registered in his brain.

“He-” His frown intensified as he tried to give sense to the situation, “-said it’s okay?”

Ryou shrugged, pulling out his phone from a pocket to hand it to his friend. “I texted him the main outline of what happened. He called us a bunch of imbeciles for bringing you to the club and told me to try this way. He said it worked for him when he asked Suga.”

Ignoring the creeping fact that Tanaka has saved his boyfriend’s number under ‘ _Mi Chika Caliente_ ’ — and Kyoutani stored the information for future usage —, Ennoshita’s texts really included the explanation of how kissing his senpai had helped him realize he really was into guys. There was a side note about a certain Daichi doubling his training menu for the next week, but Kentarou didn’t have to worry about him.

He may have briefly thought about kissing Iwaizumi, but the image vanished rapidly. For as hot at his senpai could be — and that wasn’t gay, everybody on the team thought Iwaizumi was hot, it was just a fact —, Kentarou saw him too much as a role model to imagine that kind of relationship.

“So?” Tanaka pulled him out of his thoughts, standing in front of him and cocking his head to a side a little, “Want to give it a try? You don’t have to, if you’re not comfortable with it. It was just an idea, since the club plan was a bit of a disaster…”

“All your plans end up with a disaster.” Kentarou muttered, his eyes lowered once more on the screen of his phone, staring at the dumb photo of a drooling asleep Ennoshita set as conversation background. It was disgustingly cute of Tanaka to have such a picture.

Tanaka who was ranting at him, apparently offended but Kyoutani hadn’t listened to a word. The knot still in his throat, he sent a brief text to Chikara. A simple “It’s Kyoutani. Sorry.”, but he was sure that the psychic’s boyfriend would understand what he was trying to say. Finally, he looked up again.

“Okay.”

It felt like his esophagus had suddenly let go of his stomach and the thing was now falling somewhere inside his body. His mind suddenly blanked and his fingers had a jerk.

Tanaka shut up immediately and looked at him for a second, unsure.

“Okay,” Kentarou repeated, and this time his voice broke a bit again, but he ignored it.

Ryou seemed just as unsure as him, but took a step closer and someone’s heart sped up its rhythm. He cupped Kentarou’s face gently, thumbs overing on his cheeks and caressing them gently as he stared deep into his eyes.

“You’re a great person, Kyoutani, okay?” he asked lowly.

_No. Whatever. I don’t know._ “Just hurry up.”

His grunt relaxed a bit Tanaka’s shoulders and softened the corners of his eyes and before they knew Kentarou had lips over his.

His first kiss and it was his best friend.

His first kiss and it was a boy.

His first kiss and, gods, _he liked it_.

When Takana pulled back, a little veil of saliva on both his lips, Kentarou closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against his shoulder to hide his expression. He clenched his teeth so heard his whole jaw ached and his abs hurt with the effort to keep his diaphragm still.

Ryou didn’t comment on the way his shoulders where shaking or how strong his friend was gripping at his armpits. He didn’t say anything even when little drops drew circles on his socks.

 

***

_Saved in drafts:_  
_To: Dad_  
_Text: Love you, dad._

***

 

There was a brawl to go to sleep — Kentarou would always call it that, because he definitely didn’t agree — and the result was that somehow he slept — tried to — with both Tanaka and Yamamoto hugging his sides and Misaki with her head just beside his, upside down. When morning came Taketora’s mother took pictures for posterity — which most definitely meant for blackmailing — and by ten they were back to the train station.

They greeted Yamamoto and Tanaka and him had their usual showdown as if they were meant to never see each other again. Kyoutani grumbled but got caught up in a group hug and let the others do. Misaki smacked him in the head and wrapped her scarf around his neck.

“You sure you don’t want us to wait for you?” Tanaka asked once more, but she shook her head.

“I don’t know how long it will take to check all the universities I’m interested in,” she smiled at them, “You both go home and train hard, okay? I’ll be fine.”

Brief exchanges, some lingering touch just to remind Kentarou nothing changed despite the night before — _everything changed_ — and in a blur he was on the train and leaving.

Tanaka was sitting beside him this time and bumped their shoulders together to call for his attention.

“What do you plan to do, now?” he asked calmly. “You don’t have to tell anybody if you don’t want to, you know? It’s your business, after all. But if you want to, I can come for support.”

The good thing of Ryou was that he was reliable in the most dire situations, when nobody else would know what to do, and Kentarou was grateful because he felt lost yet Tanaka seemed to have everything into prospective once more. 

Still. “I have no fucking idea.”

Tanaka patted his thigh sympathetically and left him alone, looking outside the window.

 

***

_To: Big Sis_  
_Text: can u come pick us up at the station?_

_From: Big Sis_  
_Text: sure thing hows kyouken?_

_To: Big Sis_  
_Text: not sure. hes got a lot to think about_

_From: Big Sis_  
_Text: tell him he can come over wnvr he needs & see u l@er._

***

 

Saeko picked them both up at the train station and hugged the hell out of them talking enthusiastically about how Daichi passed by in the morning to have a message relayed to Ryou.

“ _‘Next practice, he’s gonna die’_ he said!” she chirped happily, snickering with Kyoutani as her brother paled, teared up and then got started into a dramatic rant about injustice and all.

“Kyouken, take care of Chikara for me,” he finished, laying sprawled on the back seats as his sister parked in front of Kentarou’s house.

“He is the one who has to look after you, idiot,” he simply retorted, “Bet he’s gonna be relieved.”

“I hate you.”

“Good. I won’t have to come to your funeral.”

Saeko laughed, loudly as her brother yelled at her to start the car and take him away from the betrayer, and she also honked before turning the corner. 

The old lady living in front of them was spying on him through her curtains and he wished her ill omens as he fished for his keys and went inside.

He managed one step before a huge golden retriever heavily ran down the stairs in front of the door. A loud excited bark and Kyoutani had to let his keys fall to grab the dog with both his hands when the animal decided he wasn’t big enough yet not to jump on his owner.

“J-Jun!” Kentarou tried to say, his breath completely knocked out of him and the forepaws of his dog resting on his chest, “Down! Down, buddy!”

Jun looked rather offended, probably for the encounter the day before, but obeyed and went down, just to sprawl himself there in the entrance, occupying all the space and showing his belly as he barked for a rub.

Kyoutani rolled his eyes, but went to his knees and complied.

“You’re so high maintenance, you know?” he complained, brining his face closer to the dog’s to look at him in the eye.

Jun liked his cheek and barked again. His beautiful golden fur interrupted beside his right eye, where two black hairless lines reached ‘till behind his nape, and Kentarou caressed him there, on the marks of a car accident the puppy had when he were still with his previous owner.

Kyoutani liked to match his dog, but would probably never say it out aloud.

“Been good while I was out?” he asked, standing up, and the dog begrudgingly stood too, allowing him entrance in the house. He still followed close as his owner went up to his room.

He let his bag fall on the floor and plopped down on his bed, sitting with his legs a bit spread so that Jun could slip in and lay his head on his owner’s stomach. As he petted his dog’s head, he checked the time on his phone.

The clock said it was barely one in the afternoon. He could have lunch, take a shower, trying to organize his thoughts for a bit, skip afternoon classes and make it for afternoon practice which would probably consist of Yahaba yelling at him for skipping and overall being more bitchy than usual — and Yahaba’s “usual” was pretty bitchy already —.

He groaned as he let himself fall backward on his bed.

Jun barked at him for more cuddles.

 

***

_You’re writing on **BadBoysAndAGoodGirl**_

_**KyouKen:** I’m telling my dad when he gets home. I don’t want to have secrets with him. _  
_**KyouKen:** And also the team. I think I owe them._

_**Nekoma’sAce:** thats bulshit_  
_**Nekoma’sAce:** not that u want to tell ur dad_  
_**Nekoma’sAce:** that u owe ur team i mean_  
_**Nekoma’sAce:** u dont have to tell them if u dont want to_

_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** What he is trying to say in a pathetic excuse of a spelling is that getting changed in the same room doesn’t mean they can demand to know everything about you, Kyou._  
_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** Just do what you feel comfortable with._

_**KyouKen:** It’s okay. I want to. Trust bullshit and all that stuff._  
_**KyouKen:** Also I don’t want to keep this thing a secret like some dirty laundry I forgot to do. _  
_**KyouKen:** It’s still weird to think I am like that too and I need to get used to it, but it’s me._  
_**KyouKen:** And people have problems with me for a thousand other reasons. One more won’t be much different._

_**TanakaSenpai:** maybe if you were a little less of an asshole… ;D_

_**KyouKen:** Maybe if you had hair._

_**TanakaSenpai:** fuck you_

_**KyouKen:** I thought your Chika didn’t let you._

_**TanakaSenpai:** Fuck. _  
_**TanakaSenpai:** You._

_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** Capital letters._  
_**Hana-chanWillSpankYou:** I’m impressed._


	2. Fame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoutani comes out, someone else can't.

 

**_Fame_ **

 

Sometimes, Kyoutani had difficulties in distinguishing Oikawa and Yahaba. For example, he would walk to practice and find a flock of fangirls crowding the entrance door of the gym and until one of them screeched “ _Oikawa-senpai~_ ” or “ _Yahaba-senpai~_ ” he would have no fucking idea which one would be in the middle of the brawl.

The afternoon practice was actually when girls were at their worst, so it didn’t come as a surprise when he found another circle from hell just two steps from the door. It was also surprisingly easy to walk beside the crowd unnoticed, despite his looks and reputation, and in fact he passed them by and opened the gym door completely ignored.

Well, ignored until when Watari heard him and moved his eyes from the net he was putting up. Always the peacemaker, the libero smiled at him brightly and called out loudly “Hey, Kyoutani-kun!” and Kyoutani would normally appreciate the gesture, but not today. Not with all the eyes that suddenly moved on him. Not with the glare he could feel piercing through his back.

“KYOUTANI!”

_Fuck it._

It was probably not the best way to get himself forgiven for skipping morning practice, but with the option of turning and facing a furiously offended Yahaba Kyoutani was pretty sure he could allow himself one last tactic escape. Under Watari’s sigh, he pretended not to hear his captain’s screech and slipped inside the gym to move to the locker room with a hasty pace.

“Don’t you dare ignoring me!” _Like I could_ , but he wouldn’t say that on his death bed. Yahaba’s steps were heavy and graceless, stomping behind him menacingly. “Shinji, make sure nobody interrupts us!”

Somewhere behind Watari whined a desperate “Why me?!” but apparently nodded or something, Kyoutani was not sure because he was too busy entering the locker room and slamming the door in his captain’s face. An outraged cry later, the door was slammed open once more by what looked at all like an angry fluffy chicken, disheveled hair and full cheeks. 

He slammed the door after himself louder than Kyoutani did, probably in some fucked up way to assert dominance, and glared at his spiker with his arms crossed on his chest.

Kentarou really, _really_ , wanted to roll his eyes so he let his bag fall on a bench to keep the other from noticing. He had no intention of running extra laps, his day had been shitty enough already.

“What the actual _fuck_ , Kyoutani?!” Kentarou jerked, eyes wide open as he turned to make sure that, _yes_ , Yahaba really, honestly, truly _swore_. His face was also red and scrunched into an expression of pure offense. “Are we back to ignoring each other?! Are _you_ back to ignoring me?! Because let me tell you something, you stupid-”

“You said ‘fuck’.”

Yahaba frowned, his rage deflating as he took in Kyoutani almost scandalized expression. The three words still ringing in his ears sounded suspiciously like a scolding and made him blush a bit.

“So what?,” he grunted, crossing his arms on his chest in a defensive stance. He was not going to let Kyouken turn this onto him, “You’re the last person I want to lecture me about proper language.”

“I’m not lecturing you,” Kyoutani frowned, as if still unable to process what had just happened. Sure, Shigeru had been pretty vocal against him in the past months, but with his good boy façade to uphold the worst he had ever used before was ‘imbecile’. 

Over his dead body, Kyoutani would admit that Yahaba Shigeru swearing was so damn _hot_.

“Whatever, don’t change the subject!” Yahaba shook his head as if to focus again and his hair, brown with the warming weather of spring, bounced around his forehead in a way Kentarou was pretty sure was against all laws of physics. 

He managed to tear his eyes away from the locks only when a finger was pointed at his chest and he realized, _oh_ , Shigeru had gotten closer while he was distracted and damn if those few inches in height he had over Kentarou weren’t showing. Kyoutani could count the eyelashes brushing his cheekbones at every blink and the wrinkles of his lips as his mouth torched into a little bend downward. His eyes said he was determined to gauge the answer from the spiker even if he had to do so by violence.

“What’s gotten into you yesterday?” he hissed, sounding all like a venomous snake ready to bite.

Kyoutani refused to linger on the image of Yahaba biting him, on the neck, sucking at his flesh and running his tongue against the sensitive skin, his slightly chapped lips hovering above his carotids in a gesture that seemed threatening but wasn’t. His hand cupping the opposite jaw, his thumb caressing his cheek continuously, soothing, and his mouth rising to reach his ear-

“ _I’m so gay.”_

“WHAT?!”

Kyoutani cursed mentally, instinctively taking a step back from Yahaba, blaming his thoughts and the slip of his tongue both on the unexpected closure.

Shigeru had deflated once more and now was looking at him with a confused expression, probably the most open Kentarou had ever seen him wearing. His shoulders had dropped and his arms were abandoned at his sides, dangling as if disjointed, which all made him look less menacing, especially with his head progressively cocking to a side the longest it took to Kyoutani to find a way out of that mess.

_Fuck that._ If bad turned to worst, he would just move in with Tanaka and spend time working with Saeko and listening to her bitching.

“I said I’m gay,” he repeated, praying to all the gods that his pathetic need hadn’t shown through. That would have been an whole different level of embarrassment. 

Yahaba still looked pretty lost, but now, slowly, a new emotion was creeping through the cracks of his perfect mask.

Kyoutani steeled himself, his shoulders squandering and his back straightening as he recognized _horror_ in those features.

“Since when?!”

Kentarou rolled his eyes. “Got a problem with that?”

“Fuck!” Yahaba grabbed his fringe with both his hands, cursing loudly through clenched teeth. Kyoutani was seriously ready to tell him what he could go and fuck himself with — the list started with a cactus —, but he bit his tongue when Shigeru ended, lamely: “Now I owe Shinji another thousand yens, dammit, why couldn’t you be straight?!”

For a moment, Kentarou stared. He waited, far too patiently for his own standards, for his captain to say it was all a joke, because, really, what the fuck?!

He blinked when he realized Shigeru was honest to god counting out loud what he should give up on that month to pay up his best friend. “What the fuck?!”

Yahaba let go of his hair to frown at him for a moment, before shrugging. “Not much to do on the bus, you know?” Then he put his hands on his hips. “What did you have to go to Tokyo for, anyway? You still haven’t answered and I deserve to know because _I_ am the asshole who covered you up with coach Mizoguchi.”

Some voices came closer to the door, but one desperate screech from Watari had them all scramble away from the locker room. Whichever of the two inside the other players were scared of, they had no intention of stumbling into a fight apparently.

Kyoutani was still inevitably lost, and that was probably why he answered for real. “I needed to think for a while.”

“Thinking about what?” Yahaba asked, clearly missing the point in a way Kentarou really couldn’t understand.

“Uh, me?” he offered, voice laced with sarcasm, “Being gay and stuff? You know, not everyone has Watari’s psychic powers. Which are creepy, by the way.”

Yahaba hummed in affirmation at the last words, but he looked more fidgety now. Crossing his arms again, he stared at Kyoutani while puckering his lips, the way he always did when he was unsure about something.

No, Kentarou had no reason to know that.

“So, you, uhm…” he bit his lower lip and Kyoutani _had_ to stop him before the situation degenerated again.

“Listen, I barely figured this shit out yesterday,” he interrupted, shifting his weight from a foot to the other to inch a bit closer to his bag, ready to grab it and bolt for the door had the talk taken a bad turn. “If I had known earlier, I would have told you all. I’m not up for the closeted hell, so if me being gay is a problem, just tell me now so I can sign my resignation letter.”

He didn’t want to leave the team. He had never been much for working together and stuff, but if he closed his eyes he could still see the moment he turned after spiking Oikawa’s toss against Karasuno and saw all his teammates running to him with arms open and screaming in cheer. He liked Watari’s cheerful “Good work”s after practice, and the challenges against Iwaizumi. He liked Yahaba’s voice calling him _Ace_.

But had taken it into account when on the train back from Tokyo. He had considered what he was putting at stake and chose it would still be better than telling them later and losing them after growing closer or even worse never telling them and living in his body like a phantom in a cage. He had seen Tanaka’s boyfriend, how he was forced to keep up his mask because of his parents, how he could only be himself inside Karasuno’s gym because his team was the only support he had. He didn’t want to end up like that. He knew some people could and managed but it wasn’t for him.

Kentarou had never fared well with cages.

“What the heck are you talking about?” Kyoutani blinked, confused, but, when he looked up Yahaba looked just as lost as him. “Why would I tell you to leave the-” His eyes widened mid-sentence and he gaped for a second, looking half like a dead fish and half adorable. “Wait, don’t tell me… you don’t know?”

“I don’t know _what_?!”

“Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san are dating.” Yahaba eyed him carefully, trying to gauge his reactions the same way he would with an adversary on the court, but also stepped a little bit closer, probably without even realizing. His voice had dropped to a low murmur, also, losing both the fire of rage and the steel of sarcasm. It sounded testing, now, almost careful. “They have been since a year and a half already. I know you weren’t attending when they got together, but I thought for sure you had realized. I mean, they’re not exactly _subtle_ about that!”

_Oikawa and Iwaizumi._ Well, it _did_ make sense in a very twisted, annoying and masochistic — from Iwaizumi’s part — way, but Kyoutani couldn’t say he saw that coming. Oikawa was a flirt with the female half of the student body and the most physical Kentarou had ever seen Iwaizumi being with the previous captain was while hitting him mercilessly. He hadn’t exactly imagined that could be some sort of mating ritual or whatever.

“Seriously?!” Yahaba seemed the most disappointed in Kentarou’s surprise than in losing the bet against Watari, “Come on, they’re always glued to each other! It’s so cute to the point of being disgusting!”

“Hey!” Kyoutani’s arms spread in an exaggerated gesture of exasperation, “How was I supposed to know?! Oikawa is always surrounded by girls!”

Yahaba shrugged. “So am I. It doesn’t mean anything.” But Kyoutani was still busy staring at the floor and trying to accept the fact that his most admired idol had chosen to be with the most annoying asshole on Earth. Shigeru was pretty sure he could count more than fifty wrinkles on the spiker’s forehead for how much he was frowning and ended up sighing. “Is that all there was? You needed to figure that out and didn’t know how we would react to you being gay?” He waited for Kyoutani’s eyes on be on his face again, before finishing. “Because it’s fine. If that’s what’s been bothering you, I want you to know it’s fine. For me and the others it doesn’t change anything.” He allowed himself a little smirk. “You’re still the same insufferable asshole.”

“Fuck you.”

“You’d like that.” Shigeru _winked_ at him _._

_Yes._ “NO!” Kyoutani knew his face was boiling hot, but denial was strong in his mind, screaming at him that _he wasn’t blushing_ , absolutely.

Yahaba laughed.

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_BadBoysAndAGoodGirl_ **

 

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _What time does Kyou’s practice start?_  

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _should be starting right now, probably_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _u think hes gonna tell them today?!_  

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _i thnk he wnted to_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _As long as he doesn’t say anything, I assume everything went well and he’s practicing as always._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Guys._

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Oh no._

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _kyoutani!!!!_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _hows it?!_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _are you ok?!_

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _do we ned to bet smn?!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _No more bets allowed._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _I’ve had enough of those._

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _am i the only one missing smth?_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _For once, not._

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _oi!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I only told Yahaba for now._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Turns out teammates were betting on my sexuality._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Our libero apparently knew I was gay since two months already?!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _What the hell?!_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _how the fuck did he?!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I have no fucking idea!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Apparently, that bastard Oikawa had guessed too._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _The only good side is that Yahaba owes them now and is pissed about that._

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Isn’t Yahaba the guy you’re crushing on?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Yes._

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _wat the fck dude_  
 ** _Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _thats not hw u get thm_

**_Hana-chan-WillSpankYou:_ ** _Can you for once write without holding back a letter every three?_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _cheap_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Gotta go, practice is starting._

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _say hi to your cap for us_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _The day Hell freeze over._

***

 

“I’m going to sound like an asshole, now, but I would have never guessed you had friends.”

Kyoutani lifted his eyes from the screen of his phone to glare at Yahaba. They were both waiting on the bench outside the locker room for the other players to get ready, since they had kept them out for the whole time it took them to talk.

Yahaba’s happy laughter had been a problem, a big problem, and Kyoutani had retired to his phone using his friends as an excuse to escape the awkward silence after they left the locker room.

Still, Shigeru had had it far too easy for the day Kentarou had had instead, so the spiker huffed. “You _are_ an asshole.”

Yahaba pushed him with a shoulder, but didn’t retreat and instead tried to peek at the conversation, blatantly curious about what kind of people Kyoutani could get involved with.

For as much as the contact may be frying Kentarou’s brain, it wasn’t enough to let him forget Hana’s text and he hastily locked the screen. Yahaba turned his face to half glare and half pout at him, in a gesture that was far too much Oikawa’s for Kyoutani’s tastes, but then he frowned once more.

And people said Kentarou was the grumpy one.

“Wait a second, that was Skype.”

_Fuck._ “No.”

Kyoutani pretended to drink as he tried to slip his phone in a pocket of his jacket, hanging on the bench, but Yahaba grabbed him by a wrist before he could.

“It was!” he yelled, offended, “Give me your name!”

“Why the fuck would I do that?!” Kyoutani decided to ignore Watari’s look as the libero came out of the locker room to find them sitting side by side, Shigeru leaning over Kentarou enough to make him bend to a side to avoid being pressed lips to lips.

“I need to add you to the team’s group chat!” the captain declared and Kyoutani was ready to argument why for no reason in Hell, Heaven and fucking Earth he was going to get himself into something so annoying, when Shigeru stole a look at the coaches and added, whispering, “You can tell the others there if you’re not comfortable talking about it out loud. I’m sure it won’t be a problem, but if you’re still set in making it public, maybe it’s still better to keep the teachers out of it?”

Kentarou couldn’t help but follow Yahaba’s line of sight and, indeed, he wasn’t exactly dying to let the teachers know about that side of him. Even less considering he had yet to tell his father and he didn’t want him to discover from a call from school.

He muttered grumpily with himself as Mizoguchi sent them to run laps and answered only with a grunt and a nod of his head to Watari’s polite conversation. 

Five laps into training he sprinted to get to Yahaba’s side and grunted: “KyouKen. Both the K are capital, no spaces. Send me bullshit and I’m blocking you.”

He accelerated, leaving Yahaba and the others enough steps behind not to see Shigeru’s smug face.

He would so regret this.

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_Seijou Is A Better Place Without Oikawa_ **

 

_——_ **_EvilCreamPuff_ ** _has added_ **_KyouKen_ ** _to the chat ——_

 

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _uhuh who let the dog in_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _don’t you mean_  
 ** _MattsunKawa:_ ** _who let the dog out?_  

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _uh_  
 ** _HanaMakki:_ ** _uh_  
 ** _HanaMakki:_ ** _uh uh uh_

 

_——_ **_KyouKen_ ** _abandoned the chat ——_

 

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Was this spam really necessary?_

 

_——_ **_EvilCreamPuff_ ** _has added_ **_KyouKen_ ** _to the chat ——_

 

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Fuck you._  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Shut up._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Okay, guys, is everybody on-line?_  

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _ye_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _yes_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _I am._

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _I am_  
 ** _TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _kunimi is with me, but he says he’s too lazy to log in for himself_  

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Roger_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _What the fuck happened with Kindaichi’s name?!_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _lol_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _kunimi took over our legacy_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _KYOUKEN-CHAN!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Why didn’t you tell me you had Skype?!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _fucking guess_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _RUDE!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _But you’re using the nickname I gave you, so you’re forgiven~_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Not my choice._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _My friends keep changing my name back to MadDog every time I try to change it._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _It’s fucking annoying._  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** (⊙_⊙)

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _maddog has friends?!_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _not even just one but multiple friends?!_

 

_——_ **_KyouKen_ ** _abandoned the chat ——_

 

_——_ **_Iwaizumi Hajime_ ** _has added_ **_KyouKen_ ** _to the chat ——_

 

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Both of you will shut the fuck up right now or I will make you._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan’s forehead vein has popped up, he’s serious._

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Wonderful._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Now, if you’re done with christening Kyoutani into his new favorite group chat…_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I highly doubt that._

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Stop interrupting me or I swear I’ll make you cry tomorrow at practice._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _As if I’d be scared of someone that calls himself EvilCreamPuff._

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Oikawa-san came up with the name, asshole!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Should have known._

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Oh, shut up, you’re using his nickname too!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I don’t have a choice in the matter, apparently!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Listen carefully, you annoying canine_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _TRUCE?!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Why should I?!_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _…_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Whatever._

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Oh? What happened, Kyoutani? Cat got your tongue?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I’m gonna fucking kill you, just you wait._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Okay, okay, okay!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _As dear old Watacchi said, let’s make a truce, here~_  

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _captain is there a reason you want us all online?_  
 ** _TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _if not i’m going back to sleep._  
 ** _TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _its kunimi by the way._  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _We need to have a talk about your sleeping habits, Kunimi._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I’m gay._

***

 

Kyoutani wasn’t particularly worried about coming out to the team after what Yahaba told him about Iwaizumi and Oikawa, so when he was done saying what he had to say, he caved in to Jun’s wails and got up his bed to stomp to the kitchen.

The big dog was sitting in front of the cabinet where his food was stored and wriggled his tail excitedly as he looked up at his master, big tongue dangling from his open mouth.

“Your stomach is bottomless, I hope you know,” he grunted, kneeling anyway to take out some treats. “Dad is gonna give you leftovers no matter if I tell him not to, and we both know that.”

Jun barked and took advantage of his master’s crouched position to lick his cheek, earning himself a grumpy but fond “ruffian”.

Kyoutani let him eat some treats from his palm, caressing his head with his free hand and scratching gently the black stripes under the ear. Maybe it was because of the conditions Jun was in when he had found him during a volunteering shift at the local dog-center, but Kentarou really couldn’t deny anything to the little monster.

When Jun deemed himself satisfied and move to go back upstairs, Kyoutani got up and washed his hands throughly before checking the fridge. They had leftovers of yesterday’s dinner, apparently, so his father probably wouldn’t stop to buy groceries on his way back home. Which roughly translated with: _he’ll be here in an hour more or less._

_Fuck._

It wasn’t that Kentarou and his dad had a bad relationship, as much as that they hadn’t had much of a relationship at all after Kyoutani’s mother packed her things and left. She had been diagnosed a terminal illness, given or taken three months more to live, and she had decided she had no reason to waste that little time she had left with a boring husband and an annoying brat. 

Kentarou had been seven back then, his father had brought him to his first volleyball match after they found out her things weren’t in the house anymore. They had no idea what had happened to her or where she was buried. Someone from an hospital called them some time after, but his father had hanged up on them. He had never talked about his mom after that.

The Kyoutani’s family wasn’t much more than two men abandoned to themselves, but Kentarou dreaded losing that last existing bit.

So he went back to his room, dragging his feet heavily, and let himself fall on the bed once more. He picked his phone again just to see what he had been missing and he groaned at the terrifying amount of unread texts.

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_Seijou Is A Better Place Without Oikawa_ **

 

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _WHAT_  

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _uh uh_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Guys, for fuck’s sake! Have some tact!_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Thank you for trusting us with this, Kyoutani. Is everything alright?_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _I KNEW IT!_  
 ** _Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _@Shigeru “Bitch Better Have My Money”…_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I hate you so much, Shinji, I swear._

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _uhm, congratulations?_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _kindaichi mi bby u dont wish congrats at smns coming out_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _you say congrats only when they tap dat ass_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _wai is dat y u went to tokyo?! did u tap dat ass?!_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _kids these days_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _so desensitized by movies and television_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _mattsun was dat a mr grinch reference_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _maybe_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _marry me_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _How did we go from Kyoutani’s sexuality to Hanamaki-senpai and Matsukawa-senpai getting married?_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _I have no idea…_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Mmm, Kyouken-chan?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _You’ve been awfully quiet for a while._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _You didn’t even answer Iwa-chan!_  

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _shit ur rite_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _kyoutani you know we were joking don’t you?_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Kyoutani, nobody wanted to offend you, really._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Sorry, Iwaizumi-senpai. I’m not offended, I was feeding my dog._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _YOU WHAT?!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Goddammit, Kyoutani, we were getting worried, here!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Only you third years were._

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _actually i was getting worried too_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Because you’re weak, Kindaichi._

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Woah…_  
 ** _Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Arent’ you a bit too savage?_  
 ** _Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _And I don’t believe you didn’t worry, you’re so sensitive on the topic…_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I’m as savage as necessary._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _He already knew I was going to come out, I told him today at practice._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _YAHABA-CHAN!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _How could you not inform me about this?!_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Maybe because it was not for him to tell, Shittykawa?!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _It’s because he owes Oikawa money. He had bet I was straight._

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _lol_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _as str8 as my ass_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Is this Let’s Rat Yahaba Out National Day?!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Fine!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _But two can play this game, Kyoutani!_  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _What the fuck are you talking about?!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Kyoutani said he would leave the team if anybody had a problem with him being gay because he hadn’t noticed that Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san are dating._

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _how_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _how_

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _they are kind of obvious_  
 ** _TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _but in a good sense!_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _1-_ _Kindaichi, we get it._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _2-_ _Thing One and Thing Two, shut up._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _3-_ _Tooru, don’t even TRY to comment on this._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _4-_ _Watari, I entrust the team to you._  

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _I’m pretty sure this will become my most recurrent sentence but…_  
 ** _Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Why me?!_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _5-_ _Yahaba, quit it. You know how hard it is at the beginning, so cut him so slack._

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Whatever, Iwaizumi-san._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Wait a fucking minute!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _What does it mean you know?!_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Oh goddammit, Kyoutani!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I’m gay too, I told you today!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _No, you didn’t!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I did!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _You said Oikawa-san was gay and always surrounded by girls_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _and I told you “I am too”!_  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Fuck you, Yahaba! That’s not telling me at all!_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _I am with Kyoutani this time…_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _lol Yahaba pls_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _and i thought oiks was the worst_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _This aside, Kyoutani, you sure you’re good?_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Sorry, but since you ran off to Tokyo yesterday…_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, such a good upperclassman!_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _I’m going to kill you._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I’ve got a friend in Tokyo and some others came with me and we talked. One of them is bi so it helped._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _But_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _uh_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _thank you._  

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _That’s good to know._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Just to make sure, everybody here is okay with both Yahaba-chan and Kyouken-chan, right?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _If not, I’m ready to listen carefully and act accordingly~_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** (◡‿◡✿)

***

 

Jun wailed when Kyoutani sat up in a jerk and lifted his ears in a silent question at his owner’s attitude. Kentarou patted his head, apologetic, but never moved his eyes from the screen of his phone.

Of all the people, he really hadn’t expected Oikawa to take a position, even less such a firm one, on the matter. He guessed it made sense, since he himself was kind of involved and considering that with the coaches completely unaware of the situation the highest in rank were the two captains, but still. Iwaizumi seemed likely to step up and pacify things, while Oikawa… Kyoutani thought it suited him more to manipulate everybody into thinking they were okay with it.

The phone kept on buzzing of various kinds of assent and the occasional mockery at the ex-captain’s expenses, from fake terror to virtual laughters, but he didn’t answer any directly. He wasn’t sure if he were supposed to and he still wasn’t exactly okay talking with people. Virtual communication was sure easier than face-to-face, but there were so many other guys talking all together that it was hard to understand when he was supposed to talk.

He had just begun typing a casual answer, not knowing himself where he was trying to head, when he heard the entrance door open and his fingers froze. 

“I’m home. Kentarou?”

“I’m coming!” He didn’t even lift his eyes from the screen as he typed one fast message while getting up. He threw the phone on his bed without bothering with closing the chat and, Jun following shortly, he trotted downstairs. “Welcome back.”

Kyoutani Kenta couldn’t have looked more different from his son. Perfectly dressed up with his black suit, he carefully laid the custody of his violin on the floor before slipping out of his shoes, possibly muttering against them under his breath. Kentarou picked the instrument up carefully and moved it to the living room to rest on the couch as his father got rid of papillon and jacket.

“How did it go?” he asked loudly, giving one last look at the custody to make sure it was steady.

“As good as a general rehearsal can,” Kenta commented, shrugging lightly as he straightened up. He smiled at his son as he ran a hand through his black hair, messing them up just a bit. His hazel eyes were the same shade of Kentarou, even if slightly rounder, and they laid fondly on the younger boy from behind oval glasses as he passed beside him to go to the kitchen. “We’ll see how it is tomorrow.”

Kyoutani’s father was a violinist for the resident philharmonic orchestra in Tokyo. He wasn’t the first nor the best, but his job allowed him to avoid leaving for tours and similar and it was stable enough to allow him to provide for both himself and his son. For Kentarou’s mother it hadn’t been enough, but for him it was. There was a big concert coming up and, for as much as Kyoutani understood close to nothing about classical and lyrical music, it was clear it was an important one. Kenta had stood late at rehearsals almost four days a week for the past month.

Kentarou wondered briefly if it was really a good idea to tell him that night.

Awful scenarios played out in his mind, even if he couldn’t bring himself to picture his own father acting on any of them and the figure and the voice carrying them out came unknown to him. But still, being gay was… Kyoutani didn’t think it was _wrong_ , at all, but he wasn’t as naïve as to believe everybody would always be okay with that. 

So even his father was, what if it messed up with his concentration for tomorrow?, what if the orchestra discovered that and his father got in troubles because of him? What if the rest of the neighborhood hated them because of this? They all kind of despise Kentarou, because he looked weird and acted thought and all, so this would be like giving them a good reason to hate even more.

But what if Kenta didn’t accept it?

Kentarou jerked at the mere idea. His fists grew cold and he clenched them to try to ignore their numbness.

“There’s still something from yesterday, is that okay for you?”

Nakashima-san, the lady at the other side of the street, had seen Kentarou with make up as he came home from school one day. She had put up such a fuss his father had to run back home because she was screaming at their entrance door. 

Kenta had asked her what was the reason and she had said his son was a disgrace. Kenta had asked his son and he had said nothing and hid his eye-liner in a pocket of his schoolbag.

“Kentarou?”

His mother had left when he was just obnoxious and annoying, always screaming as he played with their dog of the time - some kind of mix that looked a lot like a german shepherd - and coming back home dirty in mud from head to toe every other day. She always told him he was too much like an animal and should have learnt some manners. She used to like him, though, tucking him in bed and soaping his hair and preparing breakfast, but she had left anyway. She had left before even knowing how really _different_ her son was. How would she have reacted? 

Kyoutani couldn’t remember one single occasion in which he had talked to any of them about the topic. The occasion simply had never come.

“Kentarou?!”

His wrists were growing numb too. He could feel his fists shaking now and his vision swayed a little, figures going blurry. The table fused with the kitchen counter for a moment and the cups on it became a single white stain. His heartbeat was loud in his own ears.

It hadn’t been so hard to tell the team. He knew that if one of them were to talk the whole school would know in a heartbeat, but he didn’t care about them, at all. Nobody would have ever dared to tell him anything anyway, not in there. While being accepted had felt _good_ , he knew being rejected wouldn’t have hurt too much.

But if his father were to turn his back on him, he didn't… he had no idea… _what am I supposed to do?!_

“Kentarou!”

_Scary._

He jolted when something weighted heavily on his shoulders and instinctively he tried to take a step back, but the weights slipped meekly down his armpits, their grip loosening a bit, and here they were.

Hazel eyes just like his stared, widened.

He was panting, but his father was pale.

“Ken?” Kenta’s voice had grown soft once more, different from the worried loud of before, and wrapped around the nickname he hadn’t used in years, since when his middle schooler son had told him it was embarrassing and that ‘-chan’ was just for kids. 

Kentarou let himself being hushed to a chair and only when his father turned his back to fetch him some water he stiffened. That had been _pathetic_ , freaking out before he even did anything. 

His heart was still beating like crazy in his chest and his hands were trembling slightly under the table, but his mind was firmer now, only occasionally swaying into the dark thoughts of before. He always managed to get his focus back, though, so he stared at his father’s hands and focused on them even as he drank.

When he laid the glass down, Kenta touched his wrists, eyeing the unsteady fingers and looking for the pulse. Kyoutani pulled back instinctively from the grip.

Kenta let him go, but frowned. “Did something happen?” he whispered, hesitantly pushing at his son’s walls.

Kentarou never feared well in a cage.

“I’m gay.” He spat it out as hastily as he did on the group-chat and with Yahaba, he ripped it out of his own mind like a Band-Aid on a crust, exposing the wound and locking his lips into a thin line as he waited to see if his father would help heal it or re-opened it.

_Please_ , he almost said.

His dad blinked.

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_BadBoysAndAGoodGirl_ **

 

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Kyou? You haven’t written anything in ages, are you okay?_  

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _he wnted to tll his fater rite?_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I’ve never met him._  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Any of you two?_

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _nvr_  
 ** _Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _but kyo say hes col_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _i met him once but on a rush_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _he was happy kyou was in a band and making friends_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _he seemed kind_  

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Uhm…_  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I don’t know about you, but I haven’t heard from Kyou all afternoon._  

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _nthing aftr he rote be4 practce_  
 ** _Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _ryu?_  

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _nothing_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _i tried with the personal chat but he hasnt even seen it yet_  

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Okay, now I’m getting really worried._

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _if none of us hears from him within next 30 minutes im going over to his house, theres a train and sis said shed bring me to the station if kyou needs me_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _shes so smitten for him and not even romantically_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _That’d be great._  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Thank your sister for me._  

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _will do_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _kyou?_

***

 

Kyoutani was afraid of only two things: crowds and abandonment. It made for an interesting contradiction, when he didn’t get into panic twice in two days because of that.

He was still clinging to his glass, both hands wrapped tightly around it, and his heartbeat was pulsing against his ribcage. It was like his head was two inches detached from his brain and he could see the distance, feel it like some sort of black space in between his conscious and his eye-sockets. He was pretty sure Nakashima-san was screaming at someone outside, but her voice was low and muffled.

The first real thing he felt was Jun’s humid nose pocking at his elbow.

He turned his head a bit and the dog managed to slip his head under his arm and lay it on his lap, whining lowly. Only then Kyoutani let go of the glass to bring his hands to pet the animal. The warmth and softness managed to relax him some more.

“Dogs have always been the best at calming you.” His father came into his field of vision before he could mentally prepare himself for that, but Kenta was squatting beside Jun, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to the elbows and without glasses on his nose. He looked up to his son with a gentle expression, letting the dog provide physical comfort as he looked for eye-contact. “Are you okay?”

Kyoutani shrugged. His heartbeat hadn’t calmed down at all, but if he were to tell his father that they would be at the hospital within three minutes. 

_Would we?_ He stiffened again as an intrusive voice in his mind reminded him that maybe his father wouldn’t care as much, now. A more realistic side of him knew Kenta wasn’t like that, knew that his dad would have his back no matter what, but fear was all but rational.

Jun sneezed against his stomach, ripping a little grunt from the son and a chuckle from the father.

Kentarou spied on the man, trying not to make it so obvious that he was still on the edge, but Kenta just smiled at him.

“It’s all right, Ken,” he promised, simple and open, “You’re my boy, after all. I love you, no matter what.”

_Oh. Right._

Kentarou grumbled something quite incoherent as he averted his gaze to lay it on Jun, still happily drooling on his lap, but he couldn’t deny that the pressure around his ribs had loosened a lot.

“Ken?” 

He blinked, surprised by the sudden edge in his father’s voice, and he looked up to find him with a hand hesitantly hovering above his son’s knee, deciding if touching or not. In the end, he mustered the resolve to lay it down and the touch was warm and comforting, for minimal. 

Kenta looked up again and he seemed more determined. “That reaction you had before…was it only because you were worried about telling me? Or…did something else happen? At school, or maybe with the club… Nakashima-san is a terrible person, but she said you came home running from practice yesterday and then just ran away again, so…”

“She should mind her fucking business.”

“Kentarou.”

“Well, she should,” he shrugged, shaking his head as he petted Jun again, thinking. “School’s okay. The only ones who know are my teammates and they are all cool with that. Our old captain and vice-captain were dating, so it’s nothing weird for them. Actual captain is gay too.” Kenta nodded, looking slightly relieved, and Kentarou sighed. “I think…I may like him. That’s why I freaked out and came running home. I called Tanaka and we met to talk about it.”

“Tanaka is a good guy,” Kenta admitted, now clearly relieved. “I’m glad he helped you. Yamamoto too?”

“And Misaki.” This time, Kyoutani huffed. “They made such a fuss over it.”

“Seemed like they were right to,” Kenta commented offhandedly, getting up while his son tried to glare at him. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?” A shake of his son’s head and the man was already moving to the turn the stove on. “Then, we should eat something, for now.”

Domesticity with his father seemed completely different now. It was warmer. Kentarou got up and helped him, they set the table together and he scolded the man for trying to feed some leftovers to Jun _again_.

“He’s going to get fat,” he grunted, but Kenta looked unapologetic and Jun barked disapprovingly.

Kentarou was ready to snap at the both of them, when the doorbell rang, despite the late hour.

“If it’s Nakashima-san to complain about something, I swear…!” Kyoutani grunted as he got up, his father picking the empty dishes to put them away in the sink and Jun trotting with suspect toward the door.

Since the moment he opened it, Kentarou had exactly three seconds to take in Tanaka’s disheveled expression and his labored breath.

Then the idiot jumped on him yelling “KYOUTANI!” at top of his lungs.

Kyoutani mentally thanked all the arm-wrestling matches against Iwaizumi when he managed to catch the other as he laced his legs around his waist. Then he remembered he had no reason to and let him fell unceremoniously on the floor.

Ryuunosuke yelped, offended, but Kentarou just glared down at him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!”

“Kentarou!”

Tanaka bit his lower lip, striving to hold back his snicker, when Kenta appeared from the kitchen. Which was weird because Kyoutani knew him as someone who generally didn’t have much problems with showing his true colors with whoever may cross his path.

It actually took him a moment to realize Ryuu’s eyes were running from him to his father as if trying to gauge a big secret out of their body language.

“You haven’t answered any of us the whole afternoon,” he finally admitted, still sitting cross-legged on the floor, “I told Hana I would have come to check up on you if you didn’t answer soon.”

Kyoutani was temped to ask why, but he knew better. He refused to let it show, how happy being so concerned over made him feel, so he just grunted something.

“I almost never answer,” it ended up being.

Tanaka rolled his eyes with a snort. “Don’t I know that?!”

Kenta looked amused at the bickering and Kyoutani shot him a dirty look that went ignored. “I am sure our floor is very comfortable, but wouldn’t you like to join us at the table, Tanaka-kun?” The man’s eyes glinted a bit as a little smirk blossomed on his lips — and _that_ was definitely Kentarou’s, the scary grin of the Kyoutani family —. “My son was just going to tell me about this teammate he has a crush on, and you can spend the night afterward.”

“I was not!”

“Yahaba-kun looks like a cream-puff, Kyoutani-san!”

“Shut up, dumbass!”

“Uh? Is he the one who shoved Ken into a wall in the last tournament?”

“What can we say?” Tanaka shrugged as he jumped to his feet and trotted closer to his friend’s father, masterfully avoiding a kick aimed at his shins, “It’s a tough love.”

Kentarou frowned at his friend, but followed them into the kitchen. “I’m going to kill you in your sleep.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me.”

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_Seijou Is A Better Place Without Oikawa_ **

 

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Gotta go. I’m telling my dad now._  

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Good luck. Let us know how it goes._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Kyouken-chan, so brave! Good luck~_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _be careful_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _and good luk_

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _good luck_  
 ** _TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _also from kunimi_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _I don’t live far from you, Kyoutani, so if you need anything feel free to call…_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Be a bit more tactful this time, maybe._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _And good luck._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _What the actual fuck?!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _I just told my dad, I didn’t leave for war._  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _KYOUKEN HOW DID IT GO?!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Good, I guess. He doesn’t mind._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _I have to go now. See you at practice._

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _I’m glad everything went okay for you,Kyoutani._

***

 

“Text the group-chat too,” Tanaka huffed from inside the shirt Kyoutani had lent him, still desperately trying to find the collar to let his head out. “They were all freaking out.”

“You’re stupid,” Kentarou retorted in a grunt, but still was merciful enough to help his friend wear a goddamn shirt. He hoped Karasuno would think long and deeply before letting such an individual into the world of adults. “I texted Misaki. She’s going to scream my ears off next time we meet.”

Tanaka snorted as he checked the big dog paw-print on his shirt. “That’s her trying to express her affection, Kyoutani, you should be grateful.”

Kentarou decided he didn’t deserve an answer and instead went back to set down the spare futon beside his bed. He had been tempted to throw Tanaka out every single time he shared some detail about Yahaba with his father, but he knew Kenta would never let him do something like that. Sadly.

He let Ryuu snuggle inside the futon like some kind of ferret or similar and went to the bathroom instead. He did what he had too, but spent one moment more to look at himself in the mirror.

He didn’t look different at all.

“I’m gay,” he murmured, looking at his lips articulating the word like it was just another one. “I’m gay.”

It didn’t feel real. At all. And for some reason, that made him feel bad.

His schoolbag was laying against the bathtub, waiting for a clean change of practice clothes, and Kyoutani went straight for the inside pocket. He weighted the eyeliner container in his hand for a moment. He already knew his father didn’t really mind, he hadn’t reacted bad last time Nakashima-san had tried to rat him out, but leaving his make up in the bathroom still seemed too much. 

People in the neighborhood would see him wearing it, would that be okay?

Kyoutani was starting to realize it was harder to choose who to tell and what to do not to tell others, than it was to actually say anything.

He uncapped the tube and looked at the shiny little brush covered in black liquid for a moment. A part of him complained for the waste, but he ignored it.

With hand steady from practice on his own skin, he wrote on the mirror surface so that when he looked at himself again, the words were clear even if partially on his face.

_I am gay._

It felt good. It felt like affirmation. He knew people wouldn’t like it, but those that mattered to him did.

Kyoutani knew he liked boys, and wasn’t scared anymore.

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_Seijou Is A Better Place Without Oikawa_ **

 

**_KyouKen:_ ** _yo everybody!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _whats up guys?_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _What?!_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Kyoutani?! Are you okay?…_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _lol screnshts_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _this is priceless_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Kyouken-chan are you okay?! Did you hit your head somewhere?! Do we need to call an ambulance?! Don’t die, Iwa-chan would never forgive himself otherwise!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _IWA-CHAN!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _SEIJOUS ACE!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _IM GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS WHEN ILL GET TO UNIVERSITY JUST WAIT!_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I’m the only one who can call Iwa-chan Iwa-chan and Kyouken-chan knows that!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Who are you, you impostor?!_  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _i wanted to embarrass kyou a bit more tsk_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _whatever_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _tanaka ryuunosuke here, nice to meet you_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Karasuno’s punk!_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Karasuno’s baldie!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _OI!_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Guys…_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _ROFL_  
 ** _HanaMakki:_ ** _dis is hillarious & desrves ol’ dear rofl_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _babe rofl is dead_  
 ** _MattsunKawa:_ ** _but this really is hilarious_  
 ** _MattsunKawa:_ ** _how did you get kyouken’s phone?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _he went to the bathroom and left it here on his bed_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _his code is so easy i pity him_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _And it would be?_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Yahaba…_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _0:)_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Yahaba-chan, that’s how you do it! You’re making your favorite senpai proud!_

**_KyouKen: i_ ** _thought everybody in your team hated you oikawa-san_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _EXCUSE YOU, BALDIE-SAN!_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _i like him_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _lets adopt him_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _no can do_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _suga-san and daichi-san are already my team parents_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _but that aside._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _yahaba-kun uh?_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _uhuhuh_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _What?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _youre the new captain ah? think you can handle kyoutani?_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I don’t know._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _You tell me after we kick your team’s ass._

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _yahaba full savage_

**_MattsunKawa:_** _t_ _akes no prisoners_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _You tell him, Yahaba-chan!_ ٩(๑`ȏ´๑)۶

**_KyouKen:_ ** _YOU WISH!!!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I know._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _What I don’t know is what you are doing in Kyoutani’s bedroom._  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _uh uh_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _is someone jealous?_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _As if._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I just think it can’t be good to sleep with someone from another team._  

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Yahaba!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _What?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _well too bad we slept together even yesterday_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _with tonight it makes twice in a row_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _ill have to take a break eventually_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _he really is a beasfnIm.bp,,Tòaf!afer?jgnd_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _uhm, Tanaka-san? is everything okay?…_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _No, he’s dead and will never come back._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Kyouken-chan!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I demand an explanation!_  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _It’s none of your business._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _But just so Yahaba doesn’t bug me tomorrow at practice_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Tanaka is the friend who went to Tokyo with me yesterday._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _He’s gay and HAS A BOYFRIEND and he just helped me figured this thing out._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _He came over because I forgot to answer him and he thought things with my dad went bad, so now he’s spending the night._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Trust me, if I could I would have already kicked him out._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _And we most definitely never fucked!_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Good._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _He’s the enemy to beat, we can’t have you holding back on him._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I wouldn’t do it even if we really were dating, that’s not how it works between us._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _And watch your tongue anyway, he’s still my friend._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Also, he told me to send you his captain’s contact info, in case we ever want to have a practice match or whatever. I’m giving it to you tomorrow at practice._  

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _“I’m giving it to you tomorrow at practice.”_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _watari get the first years and hide them away_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _things are getting hot_

 

_——_ **_KyouKen_ ** _abandoned the chat ——_

 

_——_ **_EvilCreamPuff_ ** _has added_ **_KyouKen_ ** _to the chat ——_

 

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Stop doing that!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _You stop them!_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _wow rude much_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _we’re still upperclassmen of yours_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Yahaba-chan, be nice and take it well, okay~?_ (○ﾟε＾○)v

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Fuck you, Oikawa-san._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I meant the number!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Okay, I’ve had enough._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _I’m going to bed._

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _with karasuno’s baldie_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _nauty_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _He has his own futon!_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Like Iwa-chan and me when we sleepover at each other’s place~._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Ugh_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I didn’t need to know._

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _i have bad news for you son_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Please, don’t…_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _wat do u think happend @ training camps_

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _hjshgwablagnfk.a_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Makki and Mattsun! Look at what you did! You broke poor Kindaichi!_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _excuse u_  
 ** _HanaMakki:_ ** _we fuked up a perfectly fine vball player_  
 ** _HanaMakki:_ ** _dats wat we did_  

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _look_  
 ** _MattsunKawa:_ ** _hes traumatized_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _The sooner you’re all gone from the team, the better we’ll be._

***

 

“I like those two! They’d get along fine with Noya-san too!”

Kyoutani answered by elbowing Tanaka in the stomach as he hovered over his shoulder to spy at his conversation again. “Stop meddling, this is team stuff.”

Tanaka grabbed his stomach, but still managed to arch a brow at him. “Team stuff? That shit?”

Indeed, there was little volleyball related by then in the chat, so Kyoutani simply locked his phone and threw it on the nightstand, letting himself fall backward on his bed with a sigh. 

Tanaka smiled at him when he grabbed the pillow to smash it on his own face. Silent, he slipped inside his futon too and waited for Kyoutani to turn the lights off.

“You’ve got good chances, with him,” he added as soon as it was too dark for Kyoutani’s pride to force him to react to hide his blush. “He defended you when I said he needed to handle you and he said ‘we’. He also immediately took the bait when I said we had fucked, he was absolutely jealous.”

For a long time, there was just silence, so much Tanaka thought maybe — _maybe_ — for once he had overstepped the boundary a bit too much. Kyoutani was a private person, that was sure. For as much as he knew, his sexuality was the only thing KyouKen had shared with his team out of his own volition.

Then, “Shut up,” Kyoutani huffed, the rustling of the sheets betraying that he had rolled hastily on his side to give his back to the other’s futon.

Ryuu snickered a bit, but let him off.

 

***

_You’re writing to_ **_Iwaizumi Hajime_ **

 

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan are you okay?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Well, you clearly aren’t, you forgot a space between comma and “Kyoutani”._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Don’t worry, nobody noticed._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Only me and I covered up for you~_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Also, Karasuno’s baldie is over at Kyouken’s place and hacked his phone._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _You missed a real show._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Yahaba-chan went full savage to defend the team, you should check it, our team is in good hands!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I know you know it’s me, you set the Alien soundtrack as my ringtone ages ago._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, don’t ignore me._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Oh, come on!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, for as much as you like him, Kyouken-chan is a bit of a brute._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _He’s not much for thinking, you know he has to act whenever he’s into something._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _And that’s not always a good thing, we’ve seen it on the court._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Maybe he didn’t even consider the implications fully before going and telling his dad._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _This is not a competition, you or our relationship isn’t losing to him because he told his family, okay?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _And I bet he doesn’t do well with secrets, anyway._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, I don’t care if you don’t tell your parents, it doesn’t change anything for me._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, answer me now or so god help me._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _IWAAAAAAAAA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAN._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Fine._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I’m coming over and you better open your stupid door._

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Not in the mood, Tooru._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _So now you answer!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _As Makki would say, HE LIVES._  

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _I get it, okay? Quit it now._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I may stop imitating Makki, but I’m not letting you drop the topic._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _We need to talk about this, Iwa-chan, seriously._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Kyouken told his dad. So what? Good for him, I’m happy he’s happy, but that’s it._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Literally everyone has their own unique situations and yours and his are simply different._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _This isn’t another one of your challenges to determine the alpha male of the pack, Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _You didn’t lose to him or whatever your Macho-Man Brain is trying to tell you right now._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _We’re no different from how we were yesterday, so I don’t see why you’re getting all mopey now._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _You’ve been okay with this arrangement for the past year and a half and now one underclassmen approaches it differently and you get like this?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Just get a grip on yourself, Iwa-chan, because I’m not going to let you sulk over something so stupid._  

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _So what?_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _We keep holding on the childhood friends bullshit and wait for my parents to go out to do it on the spare futon so I can wash it before they come back?_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Holy shit, Oikawa, we’re going to different universities because I didn’t have the guts to tell them I wanted to try getting into my boyfriend’s same university._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _They only had to say our friendship was a bit strange, a bit too clingy, once and I was applying for another place already. Without even having them to tell me to._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Don’t tell me you’re okay with this. We both now you can’t be._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _It means what? Four years for you to graduate and fucking ten for me?_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _And what if you make it pro before I get my medicine degree? What when you’ll be flying around the fucking world for your games, uh?_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _It was our only chance at living together before that and I blew it._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _And Kyoutani got up one morning, realized he was gay and by the evening he had already told his father and had a guy sleeping over._  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _(Besides the fact that Kyouken is not dating Karasuno’s baldie, thankfully,)_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Those stories about not knowing how parents would react to their children’s coming out are bullshit._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _It is not something out of the blue. Everybody has more or less a feeling about what could happen. Maybe they’re wrong, but it’s not a complete jump in the dark._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Kyouken probably had a hunch or supposed his father would be okay with that, or at least wouldn’t throw him out for that._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _We both know, perfectly well, what your parents would say._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _It’s a completely different situation, so please stop comparing._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _There’s no rule written in stone about what you should do when you realize you’re not straight._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _It’s your business and yours alone. It’s your call who to tell and who not._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _And because it’s about you, you have all the rights to make the choice that protects you the most._

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Except it’s not only about me._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _It’s the two of us together, Tooru, and my choice involves you no matter what._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _If I tell my parents, you’re the first they’ll suspect._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _They won’t let us meet anymore, you know that._  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _One more reason to be careful about it._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _You can’t let them deprive me of my daily dose of Iwa-chan, after all!_ (งಠ_ಠ)ง 

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _What’s that thing._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _It’s a fighting kaomoji, Iwa-chan, how can’t you tell?! Look at its tiny arms and punches ready to fight, just like my tiny Iwa-chan._

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _1- You’re ridiculous._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _2- You had no complains against my arms nor you called me tiny last time I fucked you. Against the wall. Holding your heavy ass up._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _3- Fuck you._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _IWA-CHAN!!!_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _4- Thank you._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Awww!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Everything for my tiny Iwa-chan and his not so tiny little Iwa-chan!_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Go die._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _You don’t mean it, how would you live without your daily dose of Oikawa-san’s greatness and beauty?!_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _I think I could manage._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _MEAN, IWA-CHAN! MEAN, MEAN, MEAN!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I’m tempted to go back home, now!_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _???_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Wait a fucking second._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _What the fuck are you doing in my courtyard at this hour of the night?! Are you fucking out of your mind?!_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _I did tell you not to come, didn’t I?! Why can’t you ever listen?!_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _And stop throwing pebbles at my window, I saw you!_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Exactly how much did you mean of our previous conversation?!_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Because my parents are already asleep and they will fucking wonder what the hell is wrong with us if they find you in our garden or even worse in my bed tonight or tomorrow morning!_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _You know I can’t get downstairs to open the door without waking them up, their room is beside the staircase!_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _I’m serious, Tooru, go back home, my neighbors will call the cops if they see you there!_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _How are you going to tell your new university coach that between the time they recruited you and the beginning of your first year you landed yourself in prison for trespassing, uh?!_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan worrying for my future is so domestic and cute~_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _We’ll see what you say when you’ll be the cute one in a fucking cell._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Stop being so pessimistic!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _And obviously nobody would dare to do anything to me when they’ll see what a scary grumpy boyfriend I have~_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Hey, Iwa-chan, where did your dad put the ladder that was against your garage wall last week?_  

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Uh? He lent it to Isogai-san two days ago, he needs it to repair something on his roof I think._  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Why do you want to know?_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Tooru, no. Don’t even think about it, I’m gonna kick your ass so hard you’ll see the stars you’re so into from up close if you even try._  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _You should tone down with the threats, I will start to think you don’t really like me._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Also, nothing to be worried about, right? You don’t have the ladder_ ( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ _ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Hey, Iwa-chan, is this the tree your mom planted when we were six?_  

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Yes, what with my mother’s prune?_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _NO! OIKAWA, NO!_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Oikawa, for fuck’s sake, wipe that grin off your face and don’t even try to_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _OIKAWA TOORU GET THE FUCK DOWN MY MOTHER’S PRUNE I SWEAR IF YOU BREAK SOMETHING I WILL BREAK YOUR THICK SKULL_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Just wait for me, Princess Iwa-chan, I’m coming to save you from your tower!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Then I’ll show you thick_ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) 

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _DONT CLIMB AND TYPE YOU ASSHOLE_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _AND SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PRINCESSY IDIOT_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really like to tell you all something about this chapter.
> 
> First thing first, Kyoutani's experience is mainly based off of my own experience. I came out to my friends as easily as breathing and they all have been extremely supportive of me.  
> Second point, Kyoutani's panic and feeling of dissociation both come again from my own experience, even if not with the matter of coming out. I have not being diagnosed any kind of mental illness, so I'm not giving any to Kyoutani either.  
> Third, what Oikawa tells Iwaizumi is again partially from my own experience. I'm not out to my parents; I'm perfectly sure they will be 100% okay with that but I still find it hard to tell them. "Fear is all but rational" I had Kentarou saying, while Oikawa stated something I'd really like to underline "There are no rules set in stone about what to do when you realize you're not straight." Everybody has their own situation, so if someone tells you "You should _______" you can ignore them, because it's only your choice and call.
> 
> That said, I'm aware that Japan is different from Italy, for many things included mentality and acceptance of the matter of homosexuality, but it doesn't mean every single Japanese person is an homophobe, okay? Here, Kyoutani's dad is not; Oikawa's parents are not; Yahaba and everybody in Seijou are not. Let's not "wrap all the plants in a single sheaf", as we say here.
> 
> Okay, that's all...
> 
> Also, I'm sorry for Makki and Mattsun but *I* love memes and I love the two of them using them as often as possible ^^"
> 
> Another little thing is that this story will be three, five or possibly six chapters long. It all comes down to how I structure next chapter, we'll see XD AND I WILL WRITE KYOUTANI SINGING ADAM LAMBERT, I DON'T CARE, NOBODY CAN STOP ME! Thus, stay tuned ;D
> 
> Also, if you want, I'm on tumblr at agapantoblu.tumblr.com if you want to yell at me for this story or if you have KyouHaba (or Seijou in general. Or Haikyuu!! in general) head canons to share (give me all about these adorable puppies).
> 
> See you,  
> Agap


	3. Fortune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyou's team is a train-wreck and, no, they're not _his_ train-wreck.

 

**_Fortune_ **

 

_You're writing on **Seijou Is A Better Place Without Oikawa**_

 

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _We have another problem._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Which is not mine, Yahaba-chan \_ (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑  
 **☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa _Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _I retired and I’m starting to see the benefits of not being captain anymore _へ__(‾◡◝ ) >_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Kyoutani ran away from practice._  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _AGAIN?!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _What did you do this time?! Told him he’s got nice hair?!_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _His hair look like a bumblebee, I would never compliment it._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Also, no, *I* didn’t do anything this time._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Yahaba-chan_ щ(ー_ー щ)

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _An angry looking girl came by the end of practice and demanded to see him._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _He followed her out and still hasn’t come back._  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Suspicious_ (ಠ.ಠ)  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Is she from our school?_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I don’t think so, she wasn’t wearing our uniform._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Black leather jacket and boots, skinny jeans. Short brown hair, seemed a bit older than him._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Do you have any idea how many older girls have short brown hair?_ (ー_ー)  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I need something more to work with!_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _[sent a picture]_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _YAHABA-CHAN_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _What?!_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _MAYDAY MAYDAY HELP WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _THAT’S JOHZENJI’S MANAGER_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _The team of reckless freaks that tried to copy Karasuno’s moves mid-game?!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _What does she want from Kyoutani?!_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Wait a second, let me check my crystal ball._  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** 눈_눈 

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I GET IT!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I’ll work it out on my own._  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Good kouhai!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _And don’t forget to report to me!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _By the way, the only balls you can check are Iwaizumi-san’s, if he’s in a good mood._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _DISRESPECT OF YOUR ELDERS!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, YAHABA-CHAN!_

***

 

One day back in the early times of his friendship with Tanaka and the others, Kyoutani used to think Hana didn’t exactly fit in with them. It wasn’t a matter of gender, but just the fact that she looked like the perfect girl next door that took care of her grandmother and read old classic books under a tree in the garden she tended to in her mother’s place or whatever.

Like Hell.

The first time they all went to Tokyo together, she’d dragged them all around screaming orders like some kind of general. Kyoutani had never liked obeying, at all, but she had a scary light in her eyes when she got mad, quite similar to Yahaba’s, if not worse. Also, she went to an hairdresser and got a side of her hair, a section almost the size of Kentarou’s palm, shaved with the exception of a stripe in the middle that she demanded was dyed in blond.

If she styled her hair in her usual way, separation line in the middle, the section was hidden under her brown strands and nobody could notice it, but still. That move had earned her quite the respect, in their little group. Tanaka had declared her _almost_ on Kiyoko-san’s level, which was something.

That was why he had frowned in seeing her on the doorstep of Aoba-Josai and had abandoned his post immediately as he saw her gaze lay for far too long on Yahaba.

Now, going back to the gym, he could still feel a shiver crawling down his spine at the thought of the two of them talking. Today, Shigeru had given an amazing proof of his capability of being a dick, yelling at his ace every ten minutes almost. Sure, the spiker may have been a but under his usual standards in the past week, with all the team knowing about him and the source of his new sexuality awareness standing in shorts just in front of him, but still. Yahaba didn’t know what a filter even was, probably.

Hana clearly hadn’t appreciated that, not that Kyoutani could, nor _would_ , talk much in the other’s defense. 

Really, Shigeru _was_ an ass. The fact that Kentarou wanted to kiss him didn’t erase his shitty personality at all.

Needless to say, as he stepped in, everybody looked at him. They didn’t have the guts to stare, though, except for Yahaba, so he ignored them. If those assholes wanted to spy on him from the window, they should have taught Kindaichi his stupid hair added far too many inches to his normal height, anyway.

The gym had already been tidied up by now, so he just turned and hurried to the locker room, glad that at least half the people had already gotten changed. There were barely Watari, who shot him an apologizing look before leaving after Kunimi, and Yahaba.

_Obviously_ , there was Yahaba. Crossed arms and standing tall in the middle of the room, the asshole was staring at him with some kind of hybrid expression from the union of Oikawa’s pouts and Iwaizumi’s frown.

Kyoutani decided to ignore him and move to his locker, but the other didn’t seem willing to let go of whatever issue his mind had created now.

“So,” he started indeed, uncaring of the shoulders he was talking to, “are you changing school?”

_What?_ “The fuck?!”

Yahaba made a show of rolling his eyes as soon as Kentarou turned to stare at him in full shock, but he shifted his weight to a single foot and lifted his crossed arms a bit, changing his stance for challenging to defensive probably without realizing. Kyoutani would have normally teased him about that if the words from before weren’t weighting his thinking abilities down.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Shigeru hissed, eyes flashing. “I know that girl is Jozenji’s manager, I’m not an idiot.”

For a moment, Kyoutani just _blinked_. He stood there, still, trying to fix the different bits filling his mind and vaguely wondering about the chances of him being thrown out of the team if he were to burst out laughing in Yahaba’s face.

Even if their meeting could be suspicious, Hana had had an aura of menace around her that had even scattered all the regular fangirls away. Kyoutani had immediately known she was _mad —_ and a good eighty percent probability said it was his fault — and he had considered making a run for the emergency exit. Definitely not the attitude of a scout and far too much in the open for someone coming for secret stolen data.

After that, a few words to the coach and a glare at a fuming Yahaba from the distance, she had been leading him outside. They had walked a bit away from the gym, sure, but that was because Seijou was a team of gossips. And Kentarou almost had regretted that distance: no witnesses to keep her from trying to kill him, after all. But after a good earful for not answering his phone the infamous day of his coming out and being a bit distant in the past week - and some excuses about needing clarifications about their future rehearsals -, Hana had finally admitted the real reason for her visit.

_“We both know that even if you had a problem, you wouldn’t tell us,”_ she had sighed, rolling her eyes, “ _Tanaka saw for himself about your dad, but we needed to check with your team, so I came here. They all seemed chill during practice. Well, aside from Yahaba, I mean.”_

_“He’s just like that,”_ he had only commented, half to himself and half to Misaki, because he really hadn’t had anything to defend Shigeru with.

“You _are_ an idiot.” Shigeru _fumed_ , but Kyoutani let out a sound in between a snort and a sigh. He was proud of himself for not laughing. “Misaki is a third year, she retired already. And do you really think I would meet with a manager of an opposing school _at practice_ if I wanted to change school?” He rolled his eyes, both for good measure and just for the kick of pissing Yahaba off.

Captain didn’t seem sure, before he pursed his lips for a moment, shuffling his weight from side to side. “Oikawa-san retired too, but he’s still neck deep in club-related stuff.”

“Oikawa’s a maniac, Misaki’s cool,” Kyoutani shrugged, “And she’s studying to get into college, she didn’t get a sport scholarship like someone else.”

The fingers in the left hand of the setter twitched a bit. A giveaway of annoyance, something Kentatou had learned happened often when people disrespected the older students. “So what did she come here for, if she’s so busy?” Yahaba grunted, “Is she your girlfriend?”

“Did you miss the memo on the group chat?” Kyoutani hissed, maybe far too aggressively, sarcasm dripping from his lips as he clenched his fists too. “I’m _gay_ , asshole.”

Yahaba flinched, that much was obvious, but instead of looking scared or unsure about facing his ace when in such a mood, he sighed.

“Relax, I know you said that,” he sighed, but he shrugged immediately after, “I just thought maybe you were going with that because it was easier. I mean, you called your bisexual friend gay once, too.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not fucking anyone from another team, if this is your main concern.” It didn’t make sense, wasting time like that, so he turned and resumed changing. He barely pulled his shirt off before he _had_ to punctuate. “And I call Tanaka gay or bi depending on what he tells me he prefers me to in the situation. He got some shit from other guys he met at a gay bar for being bi so he doesn’t always go with it when he’s not sure about the reactions he may get.”

Yahaba hummed something, but Kentarou didn’t turn. Slowly, he wore his shirt and he made it all the way buttoning it up before Shigeru finally moved to his own locker, to the opposite side of the room, and the creaking of the door opening made Kyoutani relax a bit. It sounded like a dropped weapon.

They dressed in an awkward silence, but at least the animosity that used to fuel the space between them months before had completely vanished. They weren’t at ease, at all, and they _both_ lacked the trust and intimacy to relax and take down their walls, but Kentarou wasn’t going to shoot down a progress when he saw one.

He was thinking about asking Misaki not to show up at his school again — possibly in a way that wouldn’t have led to an attempted murder — when Shigeru surprised him.

“I’m sorry.”

Kyoutani’s head snapped up and he turned so fast he was pretty sure he had damaged his neck permanently, but it was all worth to see the way Yahaba was obstinately fixing the blazer already perfectly wrapped on his shoulders. He was facing the inside of his locker not to look at his teammate, but it was pretty clear he was not going to pretend he hadn’t said anything at all.

“’t's whatever,” he said, mostly because he knew Shigeru _rarely_ apologized outrightly like that, and when he did he _meant_ it. He wasn’t even sure what he was apologizing for, if for the assumptions or the insinuations or whatever, but who cared.

“No, it’s not.” No matter how many times Kyoutani turned, he could only ever meet Yahaba’s back. The outline of his shoulders revealed how he was playing with the practice shirt he had taken off.

Okay, that was getting fucking complicated.

“Uh?”

“It’s just…” Yahaba sighed, and then shrugged as if taking time. “My boyfriend is that kind of guy, you know? The one that thinks that bisexuals are just confused and shit.”

_My boyfriend._ It hit dead center in Kentarou’s chest, making him hiss instinctively. Yahaba flinched at the sound, misinterpreting it probably but Kyoutani had no intention of offering a correction. _My boyfriend._ Shigeru turned with a guilty expression, as if he was directly responsible for something, yet completely clueless about the real damage he had just inflicted to his ace.

Then, slowly, his words registered.

“Your boyfriend is an asshole.” It wasn’t a matter of being rejected — Kyoutani wasn’t so petty as to call someone names just because they stole his crush; it looked like something Yahaba would do instead —, but a matter of loyalty: he would always draw a line at whoever tried to talk shit about his friends. If they _also_ stole his crush, well, he was beyond pissed.

Shigeru’s face surprised him, though: instead of the rage of someone whose lover had just been insulted, instead of the wrath Kentarou knew very well that little cream puff was able of, his expression softened at all edges, his lips falling from a thin straight line to a sad smile. Helplessness filled every inch of his skin, a silent desperate acknowledgement.

“He is, in that sense,” he admitted quietly, before smiling apologetically. “I’ve tried to make him change his mind, but he’s really stubborn.”

“You don’t have to justify him with me.” Kyoutani frowned. “I’ll still think he’s an asshole no matter what. Ryuu’s my friend.”

Yahaba didn’t answer. He looked at Kentarou as if he was seeing him for the first time with new clothes, searching for the familiar shape through unknown layers, under a different light, and trying to decide if he liked it or not. Kyoutani didn’t care what he thought, at all. Fucking not.

Shigeru nodded solemnly, but added nothing and it pissed the other off. He knew what he had said, but he wanted Yahaba to retort, to say he was right, to declare he was different; that silence sliced through Kyoutani enough to make him bleed to death.

_What the fuck were you expecting?!_ , he mentally kicked himself, _He’s his fucking boyfriend! Not you! Obviously he'll take his side._

He slammed his locker shut with probably too much strength, but Yahaba seemed to ignore it as he looked at Kentarou. He bit his lower lip before stealing a look outside the window. 

“Want to walk home together?”

Kyoutani was starting to think he had done something bad, like kicking a puppy or stealing candies from a kid, to get all that shit in such little time.

Yahaba was smiling again now, widely despite the hint of something else — sadness? —, still somewhere in his eyes and with just enough amount of hopefulness. The sunset light was painting his skin in shades of red and gold and his eyes were melted chocolate.

_You’re an idiot, Kentarou._ _You’re a fucking idiot._

“Hurry the fuck up or I’ll leave you behind.”

 

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_BadBoysAndAGoodGirl_ **

 

**_KyouKen:_ ** _He’s got a boyfriend._

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _who?_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Kyou, I’m sorry…_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _its his loss_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _hell regret it son_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Not your son, thank fuck._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _And it’s all right, no need to get mad._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _The boyfriend’s an asshole anyway._

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Says who?_

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _wat sdie r u on?!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Yahaba himself._

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Good._  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I can get them to break up if you want._  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _What the fuck?!_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _COUNT ME IN!!!!!!!_

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _me 2!_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Two words and you still managed to fuck them up. I’m crying._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Guys, really, no need for that._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _It went this way, I can get over it. I’m not a crybaby._

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _That’s my KyouKen!_  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Tora is getting here with tomorrow’s train in the morning. Wanna hang out? We can trash talk the asshole and take your dog to the park._  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I’ll treat you bastards to ice-cream._

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _what are you our mom?_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Thanks fuck no._  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _If you were my kids, Tora wouldn’t type like a squirrel in the middle of an epileptic crisis._  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Tanaka would have a decent English pronunciation and fuck his “shitty boy”._  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _And Kyou would wear some eye-shade too._  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _And there would be no world hunger._

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _wed have world peace_

**_Nekoma’sAce:_ ** _al ilnes wuld b curet_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _You can pay for your own ice-creams, assholes._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Whatever._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Thank you, guys._  

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _whenever you need_

 

_——_ **_Nekoma’sAce_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Kyou’sProtectionSquad_ ** _——_

 

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Who wrote it for you?_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad:_ ** _knma-san_  
 ** _Kyou’sProtectionSquad:_ ** _he sys i_  

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Tell me you didn’t just write “Hi” as “i”._  
 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Lie to me, I don’t care, just tell me you didn’t._

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad:_ ** _D’:_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Fuck you, Tora._

 

_——_ **_TanakaSenpai_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai_ ** _——_

 

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Fuck you too, Ryuu._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _And you *had* to keep the ‘senpai’, didn’t you?_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _i FOUNDED the kyoutanis protection squad so shut up_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I can’t believe myself._

 

_——_ **_Hana-chanWillSpankYou_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief_ ** _——_

 

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Misaki._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Not you too._

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _We both know those two can’t be trusted with taking a train alone, do you want to entrust your safety and happiness to them?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I don’t want to entrust anything to anybody!_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _too late_  
 ** _Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _just give up_  

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad:_ ** _so hngin out 2morow?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Nah, no need to and I have practice anyway._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Yahaba would have my ass if I skip ever again._

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _mmm kinky~_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad:_ ** _sems lik a win-nwin siutation 2 me_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Tanaka has Ennoshita’s name saved in his phone as “Mi Chika Caliente”._

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _ASSHOLE!_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad:_ ** _thts lme ryuu_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _You’re so smitten, my god._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _And I wouldn’t want to intrude in Tora and Misaki’s date._

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _WHAT?!_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad:_ ** _hw did u now_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _You’re that one villain in detective movies that ends up betraying himself when the policemen have him cornered without proofs, Tora, I want you to know. Always ask for a lawyer if the situation arises, okay?_  
 ** _Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _Kyou, next time I see you, I’ll stomp on your foot so hard you’ll have to skip practice all the way to the new school year, you get me?_  

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _how could you keep it from me Tora?!_  
 ** _Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _i thought you were my man?!_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _Back off, Ryuu._  
 ** _Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _He’s my man too, now._  

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _thats a terrifying thought!_

_***_

 

“Iwa-chan~!”

Iwaizumi was a good person, he didn’t deserve this shit after he just took the last mock exam for his first choice school. Actually, the only thing he deserved was a vacation. A long vacation somewhere far away from school and bloody _prunes_.

“Iwa-chan, don’t pretend not to hear me.” He huffed when a weight slumped against his back, almost making him smack his face against the desk surface. “That’s just mean!”

“Get off, Shittykawa,” he grunted, but with no real bite. The arms around his neck were warm against the stiff muscles of his shoulders and the palms open on his chest were discrete in how their thumbs were drawing circles on the smooth surface of his white shirt.

When he turned, his eyes laid on Oikawa’s smiling face and especially the plaster on his nose and the beaming smile just under it. The annoyance came back and he stood up shrugging the other off.

“Iwa-chan!”

“What?”

Oikawa smirked. He turned on his steps and skipped his way out of the class.

“Remember murder is a crime, Iwaizumi,” said a familiar voice somewhere behind him, far too pleased for Hajime’s liking.

“Shut up, Matsukawa.”

In school nobody really paid any mind to his and Oikawa’s — mainly Oikawa’s — antics, so nobody really noticed as Hajime followed his friends to the homeroom classroom, despite the fact that no class had lesson there for the rest of the day. It was just so normal, so habitual, for the two of them to be together; wherever was one, everybody expected the other to be close by. There was nothing weird about it.

There was nothing _gay_ about it.

Iwaizumi waited, with amazing restraint, to make sure to lock the door behind himself before he turned. The following second, his back was pressed against the wall, Oikawa’s hands still gripping hard at his shoulders and his lips on his mouth. Hajime moved his hands on Tooru’s waist to pull the shirt out of his trousers, with no pretense to hide his gestures, and searched for the bare skin of his sides with his own fingers. 

He grabbed so hard he was pretty sure he was leaving bruises, but Tooru only groaned in their kiss.

“You’re an idiot.” Oikawa ignored how he had pulled back to move his mouth to Hajime’s jaw and neck. “Who goes and trips on a tree root after climbing it up and down?”

“ _Iwa-chan!_ ” Brown deep eyes, carefully framed by the wrinkles of a childish pout, stared him down and melted his annoyance in a playful smirk. “Be a bit more romantic, would you? The love of your life is mortally wounded!”

“ _Mortally wounded?_ ”

“Hopeless,” Oikawa nodded, in all the seriousness the situation did _not_ require. “You should treasure him now that you can. He’s such a great, flawless, marvelous person, after all. Your life wouldn’t be as bright as it is without him.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. Instead of answering, though, he leant forward to kiss Tooru again.

He would never admit it out loud, let alone to the idiot’s face, but he couldn’t tell if Oikawa really made his life better, simply because he couldn’t remember a single moment without that asshole. Even when they were apart, it was simply far too easy for Tooru to sneak back in, disguised as a fleeting thought or a vague feeling of fondness. Or a wet dream, too.

Iwaizumi recoiled when he felt an hard bite on his collarbone, barely under the hem of his shirt, hidden but _just this close_ to become a visible mark.

“ _Hajime_ ,—” Oikawa stared at him through half-lidded eyes, his voice cheerful but not enough to hide the raw feeling underneath. A mixture of need and lust with two cubes of ice, “—stay with me, would you? It’s impolite to think about something else when you’re being kissed.”

“Shut up, Shittykawa.”

He did. Oikawa only opened his mouth again to suck on Hajime’s lower lip.

_I want this. I want this, want this, want this, want—_

Tooru detached to move his lips to Iwaizumi’s earlobe, whispering sultry promises for after practice as he caressed his boyfriend though his trousers, delivering firm orders in vulgar words laced with amusement and love.

_I need this._

 

***

_You’re writing to_ **_KyouKen_ **

 

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _HE’S AN ASSHOLE_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _What the fuck, Yahaba?!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Do you know what fucking time is it?!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _And who the hell is an asshole?!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Take a guess._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Shit, no._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _No fucking way._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _I’m not going to be your love confident and listen to you complaining about your boyfriend, the fuck, Yahaba?!_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Oh, come on, Kyoutani._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _You went to Tokyo to get an whole group therapy session for your own heart problems and you can’t listen to mine for an hour or so?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Fuck you._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Just go bother Watari, he’s already the team’s official babysitter anyway._

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I can’t._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _He doesn’t really like him._  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I’m missing something here?_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Shinji thinks he’s “fishy”._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _…_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Are you dating a Yakuza man?_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _WHAT THE FUCK, KYOUTANI?!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _NO!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _OBVIOUSLY NOT, WHAT THE HELL?!_  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Watari wouldn’t call *me* “fishy”._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _It sets the bar pretty high._  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _No. He’s not Yakuzan. It’s just_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Listen, Shinji is the best friend one could ever hope for, but at the end of the day he’s straight._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Sometimes it seems like no matter how much I try I can’t explain some things to him._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _He just won’t listen._  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Are we talking about the same Watari here? Because that_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _doesn’t sound like him at all?_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _As stubborn as a mule._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Does this sound like him?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Whatever._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _So?_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _So what?_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I don’t fucking know, you’re the one who woke me the fuck up at fucking three in the morning, you ass!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Ass! Right! Asshole!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I’m over it._  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _WHAT THE FUCK?!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_** _Hiroshi_ _can be an ass sometimes, but I’m not easy to deal with either._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I know something about that. What I meant is_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _You woke me up at three in the bloody morning just to get over whatever the reason in less than fifteen minutes?!_  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _You distracted me so I cooled down._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _…_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Pissing you off always brightens up my mood :D_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _FUCK YOU!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _You wish~_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Stop it!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _You didn’t deny~_  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I WILL END YOU! JUST WAIT FOR TOMORROW’S PRACTICE, ASSWIPE!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Goodnight to you too, Kyoutani-chan~_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Fuck._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _You._  

***

 

It was a stupid ass decision and Kyoutani was fully aware of that, but at _three in the fucking morning_ everything seemed better than lying in his bed thinking about his crush getting mad and making up with his boyfriend, still at _three in the fucking morning_.

And, objectively, jogging was a good thing, right? Keep the muscles working and the blood pumping, as Tora would say.

Wearing his sneakers, Kyoutani thought that maybe he had been virtually hanging out with Nekoma’s ace too much for his own good, but he shook the thought out of his head and walked out the door in the freezing cold air of _three in the fucking morning_.

He was so going to kill Yahaba later. So, _so_ going to. Stupid bastard.

Kentarou started with his usual route, down the street not to have to run in front of Nakashima’s house and around the park, but after two full circuits around the latter his brain was still far too awake and energetic for his liking. What could Yahaba’s boyfriend be doing at three in the morning to make him mad and forgive him?

Kyoutani roared and turned right instead of continuing his laps. The streets were still trafficked, but definitely not as much as in rush hours so he made it easily all the way to his house and then, in the opposite direction than before, to school. He passed beside the gates and considered making a lap around the whole building before going back. It seemed enough to shut his stupid thoughts down for good.

He turned the corner toward the east side of the school and at first he simply kept running, not noticing, but then a flash of yellow made him stop abruptly in the middle of the street.

Through the bars of the fence, it was still clear that there were lights on the first gym’s locker rooms. Which was _impossible_ because Kyoutani had left together with Yahaba and Yahaba had _definitely_ turned those off before closing up.

He felt an unpleasant shiver running down his spine and his shoulders stiffened. He would have had the phone in his hand immediately if only he had thought of bringing it with himself in his haste to leave the house. A curse escape through his gritted teeth.

The rational side of his brain — speaking in Misaki’s exasperated voice — tried to tell him to turn on his heels and find the closest public phone, but his feet instead stuck in between the metal bars of the fence and his body got weightless for a moment before he landed half crouched inside the school grounds. If someone were to find him here…

Slowly, his shoulder-blades rising and sinking like methodic waves in his back, he walked in a hunched form to the window of the locker room. He would have spied inside to see who was in there and only that. Check and leave, maybe call the police depending on the situation. But no other shit. He promised.

His fingers locked on the windowsill and he had to strain his — stiff, cold — arms to pull his weight all the way up to see.

He found himself staring straight into a couple of emerald irises and lost his grip.

 

***

_You’re writing to_ **_Iwaizumi Hajime_ **

 

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan?!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, there’s police in front of your house, what’s happening?!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Where are you?!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _If this is a fucking joke it’s not funny!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Answer your bloody phone!_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Your parents won’t talk to me! Nobody’s telling me anything!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _The agents don’t want to even let me closer than the sidewalk!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Your parents look weird, I’m getting really scared now, where are you?!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, really, I can’t see you anywhere, get your ass to a window, wave a hand at me, send a fucking carrier pigeon, I don’t give a fuck, just fucking show your stupid scowl out for a second, would you?!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan?!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _IWA-CHAN FOR FUCK’S SAKE!_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _iwa-chan where are you_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _your neighbor told the policemen he had heard shouts and cries from your house earlier_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _he says he thinks he’s heard things shattering and now you're nowhere to be seen_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _iwa-chan talk to me_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _they’re asking for you but your parents aren't helping_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _they say they don't know where you are_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _that you fought with your girlfriend on the phone and went to see her_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _iwa-chan come on answer me_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _iwa-chan please_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _iwachan i need to know you’re okay please just fucking call me_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _IWA-CHAN!_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, I’m sorry_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Your mom told me what happened_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Well, she said you came out to them and fought with your dad and then picked your bag and left after he threw a framed picture of the two of us at you, but I don’t know if she was honest_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, I know already, so can’t you just call me?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _She looked at me like I just killed you_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, I don’t know why you didn’t come straight to me, okay, but I’ll be a good boyfriend and won’t scold you_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _So just come to me now, okay?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _My house is safe for you, I promise_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I told Mom and Dad and Nee-san everything, that we’re together and what your parents did_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _They are worried about you too_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Nee-chan says she’ll slap your dad as soon as she’s sure you’re okay_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _She doesn’t want to go to jail before making sure her brother-in-law is safe_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Dad is not even trying to dissuade her_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Mom is making agedashi tofu_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _She doesn’t care its one in the morning, she says you’ll need to eat when you get here_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _You can’t make me tell them you’re not coming, right?_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan, the police left_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _They say there’s no evidence of anything so your mom and dad are okay_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I’m not sure if that’s supposed to make you feel better but you’ve always had a heart too big for your own sake so_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _You can come back, the street’s clear now_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _All the neighbors went back to bed so no one would notice you_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Iwa-chan?_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Nee-chan’s husband and my dad are around with their cars to look for you but they won’t let me come_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Mom says I’m too distressed to be of any help_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Nee-chan is trying to calm down Takeru but he’s scared out of his wits_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _He keeps asking for you_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I need you too, Iwa-chan_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Please, come back_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ **_Iwa-chan, it’s been seven hours already, at least tell me where you are!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ **_I’ll understand if you tell me you want to be alone, I promise I won’t come if you don’t want me to!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ **_Just let me know you’re safe and sound? Please?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ **_Iwa-chan?_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ **_Iwa-chan!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ **_Iwa-chan_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _…_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Hajime_

***

 

“Fuck!”

“Kyoutani!”

Kentarou is torn between complaining about the pain in his ass — literal, because he fucking landed on his bottom, obviously! — or just digging a hole to bury himself within to escape the embarrassment.

Iwaizumi ran out of the door of the gym with eyes wide open, wearing barely a white sweatshirt and loose grey track pants. His expression was twisted with worry, but relaxed a bit when he saw his junior pulling himself up, loosely massaging his lower back with a hand and stubbornly looking to a side to try — and fail — to hide the red shade of his whole face, up to the very ears.

For a moment, in spite of everything, Iwaizumi smiled. “You okay?”

Kyoutani turned to answer, because it was polite and he respected the other, but he blinked and forgot his words when he noticed… well, he wasn’t really sure what he noticed, but whatever it was had casted a dark shade all over Iwaizumi’s face. There were thin bags under his eyes, as if he’d been awake the whole night, and was sporting a weird bruise a bit above his shoulder, almost on the collarbone. Kentarou knew the difference between an hickey and a volley-ball bruise, he wasn’t an idiot, but that thing didn’t seem to fit either. It was like a puncture, a dark almost circular sign, but all around there were little cuts that looked fresh even if they had clearly already been attended to. 

He couldn’t stop staring so it was just normal for Iwaizumi to notice and lift his hand to rest on his collarbone, almost casually enough to disguise the fact that he was covering the mark with his palm. “What are you doing here?”

“Went on a run and saw a light on,” it came out a grunt, far less smooth than Kentarou would have liked, and he scratched his nape instinctively, feeling the punctures of short hair under his fingertips, “Thought I would check.”

“You and what army?” Iwaizumi arched a brow and in a second he was back to his usual demeanor, arms crossed before his chest and frowned forehead. “If I were a thief you wouldn’t have gone far.”

“I could take a thief.” He wasn’t sulking. At all.

“Like you can take me at arm-wrestling?”

Kyoutani stifled a growl and pursed his lips in an offended straight line. Iwaizumi shook his head at the display, but in a way that looked almost fond. 

His expression washed away soon, though, as he stole a look at the inside of the gym. He seemed to think for a while, shifting his weight to a single leg as he brought the opposing arm to scratch at his neck. When he looked back at Kyoutani, he seemed a bit bashful too.

“Listen, I know it’s an ungodly hour of who knows if day or night and you probably need to go home, but could you lend me your phone for a second?” His nose had scrunched as he talked, as if he couldn’t believe himself for asking something from an underclassmen, and he added, almost as if to justify himself, “Mine ran out of battery and I don’t have a charger at the moment, but I really need to call Oikawa before he goes crazy and does something stupid.”

_Oikawa always does something stupid._ Kentarou was proud of himself for not saying that out loud. Instead, he almost shrunk on himself, hiding his head between his shoulders.

“I forgot it home when I left.” Iwaizumi let out an hissed curse and brought both his hands to mess his hair. It was a gesture of frustration Kyoutani knew from being on court and instinct kicked in. “But my house is not that far?”

_Why the fuck did you make it sound like a question?!_ He probably had an annoyed expression on his face, a deeper version of his usual scowl, because Iwaizumi blinked for a moment.

“It’s almost dawn,” he reminded.

Kyoutani just shrugged. Iwaizumi had been the most reliable of the senpai, and even the year before he had been one of the few who had noticed Kentarou’s troubles with the third years of the time. It seemed just right to help him now, even if it was more for Oikawa’s sake.

For a moment, Hajime blinked again, but his eyes betrayed him and ran to the door of the gym, where his broken phone probably was. Kentarou had no idea of what had happened, but it must have been something serious if the other was so eager to reassure his boyfriend.

“Okay,” it sounded like it was painful for him to accept help. “Just let me get my bag, alright?”

Kentarou muttered an assent, indifferent, and sure enough Iwaizumi and he were walking down the street to his house just a few minutes later.

They walked in silence for most of the path, not uncomfortable but neither too happy about their own general situations. The older had his old sport bag slumped on a shoulder and there was a sleeve of some kind of sweater dangling from the badly closed zip. 

It dawned on Kyoutani only in that moment how weird it had been for the two of them to be at school at that time. For himself, he would never admit out loud he was running — quite literally — away from thoughts of his crush, but Iwaizumi didn’t seem the type to break rules to sneak in and get some secret practice; that was more Oikawa-like. The knowledge made him frown. Maybe some new secret training for the university try-outs?

“I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘training’.” He wanted to kick himself. He had never meant for it to say it out loud, he was just thinking! But Iwaizumi was now looking ahead with a tired expression and his shoulders were low, empty of the strength Kyoutani had always admired him for. “What about you? Running at four in the morning is not exactly healthy, you know?”

“Running _is_ healthy,” _and that’s how you make a point._ He really was a great conversationalist.

Instead of looking deterred, though, Iwaizumi sent him a side glance with a handful of teasing. “Not if you get driven over in the darkness.” Before Kentarou could dodge, the ace hand hit him on the nape, palm open enough to make a sharp clapping sound echo against the buildings around. “At least wear a reflective jacket!”

His muttered “will do” got lost in the sound of night wind and just like that they were at Kyoutani’s door. Jun lifted his head from his doghouse in the garden, but recognized his young master and simply exhaled loudly to express his displease at being waken up so early, then he went back to sleep.

“Spoiled,” Kentarou muttered under his breath as Iwaizumi sent him an half amused and half surprised look. “My dad spoils him rotten.”

It was written in capital letters in the way he wore his hair, that Kyoutani fell nothing short of his father when it came to spoiling his dog. He was just a bit grumpier about it, but it was all pretense. _A tsundere_ , Misaki would have said.

They entered the house on their tiptoes, only for the light to be switched on suddenly, making Kyoutani hiss in discomfort so it took him a moment to find the figure standing, a hand on his hip and the other still on the switch, on the threshold of the kitchen.

Kenta looked ready to deliver the scolding of his life, but stopped mid-breath as he noticed his son wasn’t alone. Iwaizumi looked lost, maybe a bit unsure, but Kentarou could only be worried about one thing at the moment.

“I imagined you differently from my son’s descriptions, Yahaba-kun.” And his father _had_ to go and do just that.

“He’s not Yahaba, Dad!” Really, which god did he piss off in his past life? “We met when I went running.”

Being as he was, Iwaizumi obviously had to go and introduce himself, but it helped little as Kenta blinked in recognition. “The ace of the team! Ken talks about you a lot!”

Kentarou slammed his forehead against the doorframe. His father just grinned, while his senpai stared in confusion. The situation was getting far too weird for him to bother so he just pointed at the stairs with his thumb.

“Cellphone,” he muttered before turning on his heels and fleeing. In retrospective, that could have been a stupid decision, but Kyoutani wasn’t going to give his father more pretests to assume things about him and his senpai. Like taking him to his room. Fuck, no.

He tried to be as fast as he could, but when he got back he realized there was something weird about the situation. 

Both his father and Iwaizumi were sitting at the kitchen table, for a start, instead of the comfortable couch they had in the living room. They were facing each other and while Kenta had his hands entwined and resting in front of him on the wooden surface, his senpai was resting his head in his hands. He jerked when he heard Kyoutani enter the room and his eyes were weird, a bit too shiny and a bit too big.

He let out a low “Thank you” as he took the phone, a sound that was more of a murmur, and he stood up to leave the room silently.

“Your ex captain called around an hour ago.” Kyoutani turned to his father so fast he winced when he felt a muscle in his neck pull. Kenta’s eyes were serious yet worried, sad as he sighed. “He was contacting all the members of the team to ask about Iwaizumi-kun. He ran from home.”

Kentarou stiffened. For a moment he stood, completely frozen on the spot, as his thoughts wrapped around everything trying to make a sense out of it. So Iwaizumi had gone to the gym to sleep there? He was the vice-captain and since Yahaba had still to elect one he probably still had his keys. But why? That didn't sound like his reliable ace person at all!

He stole a glance at the living room. Iwaizumi was gesturing wildly as he always did, making signs of stop and slow down so often it was easy to guess whom he was talking with. Oikawa must have been out of his mind.

“They’re together,” he didn’t know why he was saying that. “He and the captain. Boyfriends and shit.”

Kenta nodded, as if he had guessed something already. Oikawa probably hadn’t been as good as lying as usually on the phone. “High school sweethearts, uh?” 

Kyoutani shrugged, simply. For what he knew, those two went on far earlier than high school, but he wasn’t sure nor he really cared. It was their business after all, and as long as Oikawa didn’t just barge into his house he was happy for them. In a very non-caring way.

Iwaizumi had a hand buried deep into his fringe and hiding his face, but it couldn’t work for the tears, at all, and it was making Kentarou extremely uncomfortable. 

It had been nice to believe strong people were simply always strong. It gave him reassurance that once he would get strong too, once he would be the strongest, he wouldn’t have to hurt anymore, no matter what Nakashima-san or his seniors or his mother did. Strong people didn’t cry, after all. But Iwaizumi was strong, _really strong_ , and he was crying and he was hurting and it scared Kyoutani. It scared him shitless.

“Ken.” He turned back to his dad just as Iwaizumi finally let himself sit on the sofa, giving up his restless last semblance of strength to almost curl up on himself as he listened to the person on the other side of the line. Kyoutani gulped and focused his attention on Kenta, who returned his gaze with firm honesty. “I will never do anything like that to you. Don’t _ever_ feel like there’s something you can’t tell me.”

The first thing Kyoutani understood was that Iwaizymi must have told something more to his father. For what reason, he couldn’t know. The second thing was what must have happened for Kenta to say those words.

Blood went cold in his veins. He could feel the razor sharp shards of ice cutting him from inside at every beat of his heart.

He had written his sexuality in thick black lines on his mirror, painted them on his reflex to feel them merge with his own face. Iwaizumi had said it out loud once and had to run from home.

His hands were shaking now. Kenta stood up, but he didn’t let him come close. Instead, he stomped out of the kitchen and all the way to the couch, uncaring of the startled jerk of his senior. He ripped the phone from the other’s hand and took it to his own ear. His own address felt foreign as it rolled on his tongue. “Come here.”

Oikawa’s voice was rattling and wet, he had surely been crying — with all the snot that came with that if you were one Oikawa Tooru, the ugliest crier in the whole world — and that much was clear even if all he did was promising “ten minutes” before hanging up.

When Kyoutani threw the phone on the table, he refused to see Iwaizumi’s face. He could see he was running an arm over his eyes so he pretended not to notice and just slumped sit beside him.

_Good, you made it awkward. Now?_

“I can’t comfort people for shit, just so you know.”

Iwaizumi snorted. Somewhere in the kitchen came the sound of a hand slapping flash and an exasperate groan. _Fuck._

“’t’s alright,” Iwaizumi leaned back against the sofa as he took a deep breath. “Could have been worse.”

“Really?”

“Hanamaki and Matsukawa think memes could lift anybody’s spirit in any situation.”

Whatever expression he was making at the moment, it must have been _peculiar_ because Iwaizumi started laughing at it and only stopped, after continuously fake ends and miraculous resurrections of hilarity, when someone thought it was a good idea to lay their finger on Kyoutani’s doorbell and fucking leave it there.

Luckily Kenta got the door first, because Kentarou would have probably opened with a snarl and something alongside the lines of “It’s fucking five in the morning!” or similar. His father, instead, didn’t say anything and simply pointed a finger in the direction of the living room.

Oikawa moved so fast Kyoutani barely had time to jump off the couch and out of the line of fire before the idiot threw himself at Iwaizumi.

_Gross_. They didn’t even kiss. They just hugged as if they were each others lifeline. Iwaizumi hid his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder and trembled against him for a moment as the other caresses his hair with a hand and held him close with the other. 

“I’ve got you, Iwa-chan, I promise. I’m here, I’ve got you.”

Strong people apparently needed crutches too, sometimes.

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_Seijou Is A Better Place Without Oikawa_ **

 

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Nothing even at the old park!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I don’t know where else to look?! I don’t know Iwaizumi-san that well!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Oikawa-san, really, what’s happening?! It’s not like him to disappear without a reason like that!_  

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _we checked everywhere round his house_  
 ** _HanaMakki:_ ** _gonna head @ school now_  

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _has someone checked with his older brother?_

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _oikawa-san said he wasn’t answering so maybe he has the phone on silent_  
 ** _TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _kunimi and i will take the old hospital area then?_  

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _His phone is still turned off and his parents won’t answer me either…_  
 ** _Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _Yahaba, wait for me before going anywhere else, it’s too late to go around alone…_  

**_Kunimi:_ ** _oikawa-san hasn’t written anything in a while_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _oiks?!_  
 ** _HanaMakki:_ ** _oiks well find him i promise_  

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _oiks?_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _SHITTYKAWA YOU IDIOT YOU SENT EVERYONE AROUND?!_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _IWA!!!!!!!!!!!_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _thank gods_

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _iwaizumi-san!!! are you all right?!_

**_Kunimi:_ ** _good_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Nobody sent anybody around, Iwaizumi-san!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Oikawa-san called to know if any of us had heard from you_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _but we didn’t and nobody knew where *the fuck* you were._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _So *we* chose to go around to look for *you*_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _because *you* wouldn’t answer your bloody phone_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _and *he* wouldn’t tell us what the fuck has happened!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _So_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _where_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _the_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _fuck_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _were_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _you?!_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _And where the fuck is Oikawa-san too since he’s the one who started this whole riot and it’s a fucking hour since he last texted anyone, dammit._  

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _woah_  
 ** _HanaMakki:_ ** _u tell em yahaba_  

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _oiks made a good choice for the new captain_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _I’m sorry, Yahaba-chan! \\\_ (´д｀\\\\)  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I promise I didn’t do it on purpose!_  
 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _I went to pick up Iwa-chan at KyouKen’s place!_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Kyoutani?!_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _He hasn’t even visualized the messages, yet, so I thought he was asleep…_  

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Okay, listen here you all_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _1- I’m sorry I worried you, it won’t happen again hopefully_  

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _That’s a shamefully weak apology, senpai._

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Don’t push it, Yahaba_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _2- Shit happened and long story short I’ll be living with the Oikawa family starting today, but I’ll explain better later at practice, anyway_  

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _wat?! ur parents?!_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Out of the picture._

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _…_  
 ** _HanaMakki:_ ** _k_  

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _3- Kyoutani was on a run without his phone (I scolded him already so hold your horses, Yahaba) and we met so he let me go to his place so I could call Shittykawa and let him know I was still alive_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _PS: if you want to scold someone, Yahaba, Oikawa had told me he’d take care of everything so I just checked my phone now. I didn’t even know you all were running around looking for me_  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Mean, Iwa-chan! You can’t sell your boyfriend out that way_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _4- Thank you all for caring so much._

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _…_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _…_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _…_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _…_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _…_

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _…_

**_Kunimi:_ **

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I’m sure you can make the effort to write three periods, Kunimi._

**_Kunimi:_ ** _…_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Good._

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _?_  
 ** _Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _I don’t get it?_  

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _dats the point_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _we don’t get it either_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _how can u b dat cute?_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _yet so hot_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _hot damn_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Hands off, he’s taken!_ (งಠ_ಠ)ง

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _You know what?_  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I had a shitty night, the only bright point of which had been to piss Kyoutani off at 3am. I dealt with a demanding asshole, a lost senpai, an idiotic senpai who can’t bother to tell me he has found the other senpai and a train-wreck of a team._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I’m going to head to bed and sleep all morning._  
 ** _EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Don’t go die when I’m not around._  

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_ ** _Yahaba-chan, that’s not how a captain behaves!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Fucking watch me._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Skipping morning practice, Oh Righteous Yahaba?_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Fuck you._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _YOU WISH_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _wat_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _yahaba skips practice and kyouken aggressively sasses the hell out of him_  
 ** _MattsunKawa:_ ** _the world has turned upside down_

**_Watari Shinji InTheRobot:_ ** _oh gods…_

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _What the heck just happened here?_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Don’t steal other people jokes!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Don’t bother people at 3am with no fucking reason at all!_

**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _What, I ruined your beauty sleep? It’s not going to work for that face of yours, anyway._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I will fucking deck you!_

**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Aaaaaaaand we’re back to reality_ (◡‿◡✿)

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Watari, I trust you_

 

_——_ **_Watari Shinji InTheRobot_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Watari WhyMe Shinji_ ** _——_

 

**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Watari._  

**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Yessir…_

**_HanaMakki:_ ** _watari — > “Y me?!”_

**_MattsunKawa:_ ** _iwaizumi — > “you gotta”_

**_Kunimi:_ ** _so morning practice is cancelled tomorrow?_

**_TurnipsCan’tChangeTheirNames:_ ** _akira, no!_

***

 

Kyoutani didn’t kick Yahaba at practice, mere hours later, but neither he went on training meek as a little lamb. They yelled, they fought, they bickered, but Oikawa looked at them by the sidelines, hands firmly around one of Iwaizumi’s as the both of them sat on the bleachers.

“Yahaba-chan is hiding something from me.”

Iwaizumi frowned, and Matsukawa and Hanamaki talking idiocies behind them stopped to listen. “What are you talking about? He seems normal?”

Shigeru was setting to Kyoutani, purposely a bit too close to the net and a bit too short but he still didn’t seem that annoyed when his ace managed to slam on the other side of the court a left-handed spike. 

Oikawa clicked his tongue. “He won’t look at us, no matter what. And he’s been off with Watacchi for a while.”

“Are you really sure, though?” Hanamaki rested his crossed arms on the backrest of Oikawa’s seat as if to take a better look at the situation. “I didn’t notice anything.”

Iwaizumi didn’t like the way Oikawa hummed, absentmindedly almost. He held on tighter on the hands enveloping his and he strived to not think about how big Tooru’s trousers were on him, how stretched his shirt on his muscles.

Yahaba really didn’t look that different to him, not with them nor with Watari. Sure, he seemed to be especially focused on Kyoutani, but that was a good thing: they were setter and ace, they would have to lead the team the next year and they sure as gold couldn’t do it if they were too busy aiming at each other’s throats. Still, nobody could read people as well as Oikawa.

“You think we should confront him about that?” he asked.

“Iwa-chan, don’t be a mom!” There was a big smile on Tooru’s face, even as he shook his head, but Iwaizumi knew better than to believe that crap to be real. He frowned, but before he could retort anything his boyfriend had already leant in and laid his head on his shoulder. His hands were drawing imaginary pictures on the back of his. “Graduation will be soon. They need to start dealing with things on their own.”

“What bullshit is that, from the mouth of someone who’s had his best friend to look after him his whole life!”

“Rude, Makki! Iwa-chan loves me!”

“Not changing the fact that you’d be lost without him.”

“Not you too, Mattsun!” A little chuckled left his lips and Oikawa immediately lifted his head to pout at him. “Iwa-chan! Back me up a bit, here!”

“Why should I? They're right,” he said, without real bite. But his eyes fell back on the court and Tooru’s words came back to haunt him. What could possibly be wrong with Yahaba and Watari?

“Don’t try to wrap your brain around it, Iwa-chan, you’ll hurt your poor single neuron.” Hajime didn’t even look as he outstretched his free arm to punch his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Mean!” 

“Seriously, though, maybe we should—”

“Iwa-chan, no.” Oikawa looked at him, all playfulness disappeared to leave room to the terrifying seriousness that Tooru sported during games. His brown eyes made sure he had his attention before slipping back on the court. “And anyway, there won’t be any need.” He blinked, slowly, and his eyes caught a stolen glance that made his worry ease a bit. “I have a feeling they will solve it on their own just good.”

 

***

_You're writing on **BadBoysAndAGoodGirl**_

 

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _Let me get this straight_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _uh…_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _*as straight as possible within this group chat_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _thats better v.v_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _Since the last time we talked, yesterday morning, to now, evening of the following day, you:_  
 ** _Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief: -_ ** _discovered your crush has a boyfriend and then proceed to become aforementioned crush’s love counselor for aforementioned boyfriend;_  
 ** _Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _\- went to an irresponsible and potentially deadly run at three in the morning;_  
 ** _Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _\- lost and found a senpai._  
 ** _Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _Am I missing something?_  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I didn’t ask for any of that so don’t make it sound like it’s my fault if my team is a fucking mess._

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _but theyre your mess_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Can you all just go back to your old nicknames, this is getting too fucking confusing!_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad:_ ** _yu ddnt deyn tho ;D_

 

_——_ **_Kyou’sProtectionSquad_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Nekoma’sGreatAce_ ** _——_

 

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai:_ ** _it was getting boring anyway_

**_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief:_ ** _You were getting confused too, weren’t you?_

 

_——_ **_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sSenpai_ ** _changed their name to_ **_TanakaSenpai_ ** _——_

_——_ **_Kyou’sProtectionSquad’sChief_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Hana-chanWillSpankYou_ ** _——_

 

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _By the way, Tora, you spelled your name wrong. Want me to fix it for you?_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _eh?_

**_Nekoma’sGreatAce:_ ** _sre ting! tank yu Hana!_

 

_——_ **_Hana-chanWillSpankYou_ ** _changed_ **_Nekoma’sGreatAce_ ** _to_ **_Nekoma’sGreatAss_ ** _——_

 

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Here, that’s how you write it._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _He even put in the effort to use the capital letter for your name._  
 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Your underclassmen are a bad influence to you._

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Don’t tell me you don’t think I’m right._

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _i mean_  
 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _shes objectively not wrong_  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _…_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _???_

***

 

Kentarou never checked his phone before leaving the locker room — too much risk of Yahaba trying to spy on his conversations, so, no thanks —, but with the last days events he had Hana and Tanaka keeping tabs on him and his movements so he found himself typing and reading as he walked through the courtyard of school, heading to the gates.

“Kyoutani-kun!”

The first thought that ran through his mind was ‘Nope’. He had dealt with enough shit in the past week, honestly, he needed and fucking deserved a break and whoever was calling him with such urgency definitely wasn’t bringing him any good news.

Then he recognized the voice’s owner and his feet stopped instinctively. He turned and Watari was panting as he slowed down to stand before him. Nobody could ever say no to Watari, damn him.

“Sorry!” he exhaled, looking lost as if he hadn’t been the one to call out for him. He scratched his cheek and looked around, making Kyoutani wonder if he were checking to make sure nobody saw them or if he really thought he could find the words somewhere in the stupid grass. “I just, uhm… see…”

“What?” He managed not to growl, but his voice still came out quite annoyed despite his best intentions.

Watari seemed to catch the effort, because he smiled a bit, even if still a bit embarrassed. “You don’t have to answer, but I kind of gotten that you and Yahaba talked last night? Before the mess with Iwaizumi-san and all?”

_Dangerous topic, dangerous topic!_ Kyoutani snuck his hands in his pockets to pretend his shoulders hadn’t gone stiff and frozen, and that his stomach hadn’t locked in a knot. “What of it?”

That seemed enough of an answer for the young libero to frown, his embarrassment vanished under a wave of something definitely darker. “It was because of him, wasn’t it?”

_Shit, no, not this again._ “Look, Yahaba’s private life is not—”

“Please!” Watari raised his voice almost unwillingly and went as far as to push himself into Kentarou’s personal space. The spiker instinctively took a step back, but the libero seemed to not even notice. “Kyoutani-kun, really, just tell me if you know anything. It’s really important.”

Kyoutani shouldn’t have meddled. It was late, the sky was getting dark and there was a freaking cold wind. He didn’t have to take care of Yahaba like a babysitter, he didn't owe him shit.

“I only know he made Yahaba mad for a while, but he was over it within fifteen minutes.” He bit his tongue in frustration at his own idiocy.

“Sure he did,” Watari hissed. It was the most poisonous sound Kyoutani had ever heard from him and it made his eyes widen and his mouth open. The libero noticed — _obviously_ , Kentarou was gaping like a fish! —, but held his ground with a serious look. “Nothing else?”

Kentarou shook his head. “You don’t like him.”

“That’s not a question.”

“Yahaba told me you don’t,” _as if your expression wasn’t clear enough._ Kyoutani really should have really let go of the matter. “Why’s that?”

Watari scoffed with disgust. “Aside from the fact that he’s a manipulative possessive bastard?” he asked, and Kentarou noticed his fists were clenched. “He keeps Yahaba a secret.”

“Not everyone can be out,” Kyoutani frowned. He himself wasn't the kind to be very PDA but at the same time wouldn't bother denying his sexuality, but the most recent events should have been enough of a proof of how shitty people could be with who they perceived as different. Could it be Yahaba was right?, that Watari for once simply couldn’t get himself in someone else’s shoes? “Look at what happened to Iwaizumi-san. It’s—”

“He has a girlfriend.”

Kyoutani blinked.

_Oh shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Four long-stories at the same time is clearly more than I can manage, but now I think I should be faster ^^"
> 
> This story is going on his own, now; I have no idea when it became so much bigger. I'm still fairly sure I'll manage to close it within six chapter (I hope?), but don't be surprised if it gets prolonged.
> 
> I just wanted to point out one thing about this chapter, which is Yahaba's sentence about Watari being heterosexual: heterosexual people are not the devil incarnate. I have only heterosexual friends despite being ace-pan myself and they're all supportive and kind and interested. Tumblr, I saw, is extremely bashful of straight people and that's something that honestly bothers me. If we're trying to build a better world, we should start by being nonjudgmental toward everyone.
> 
> That aside, still no Kyoutani singing Adam Lambert. I'm getting offended with myself. His time will come, though.
> 
> See you,
> 
> Agap


	4. Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much stuff goes down in here, but the most important thing is: Kyoutani singing Adam Lambert. (F*cking finally.)

 

_**Never** _

 

 _Conversation with:_ **_Chemistry Tutor_ ** _★_

 

 **_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Where are you?_

 **_You:_ ** _Sorry, practice ran late!_  
**_You:_ ** _I’m almost at the gate, where are *you*?_

 ** _Chemistry Tutor ★_ : ** _The combini at the end of the block. Oda-chan has club activities too today._

 **_You:_ ** _Right. You told her you have to tutor me again?_

 ** _Chemistry Tutor ★_ :** _What’s with the sentence? Obviously I told her that, what else?_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ : **_‘Hey, honey, sorry, I have to see my gay boyfriend?’_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ : **_Shigeru, we already had this conversation._  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ : **_If we’re meeting up just to fight, I’m going home now._

 **_You:_ ** _Stop being an idiot._  
**_You:_ ** _We’re meeting because I want to see you._

 ** _Chemistry Tutor ★_ : ** _Yeah, if you say so._  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ : ** _Are you coming or not?_

 **_You:_ ** _I am!_  
**_You:_ ** _You could at least be a bit more patient, you know! I’ve been running all day and my teammates are all jerks!_

 ** _Chemistry Tutor ★_ : ** _Oh, poor thing ;D_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ : ** _Hurry up and we can go to your place._  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ : ** _I have the collection of Fast And Furious and Chinese takeaway._

 **_You:_ ** _Can we get cuddles too? <3_

 ** _Chemistry Tutor ★_ : ** _Extra-large portion <3_

 **_You:_ ** _Thank you~_

 ** _Chemistry Tutor ★_ : ** _Hurry up, sweet ass. The cashier is glaring at me and there’s just so much time I can spend checking out chewing-gums._

***

 

Kyoutani was a good kid. His grandmother always said that when she came to visit, once per year, and she never lied so that must be true. All right, so maybe he was a bit hot-tempered and not always polite, but it was the inside that mattered, right? And Kyoutani’s inside was torching and squeezing and he didn’t know what else but it was uncomfortable, very much so.

Of all the teammates he would have wanted to invite him over, Watari would have been his third choice, with Iwaizumi being the first and Yahaba the second — because, let’s be real, Yahaba would be _insufferable_ about it —. Yet, here they were, sitting in the libero’s room that was full to the brim of manga and what Kentarou assumed was anime merchandise. He hadn’t imagined the pacemaker of their team to be such an hardcore fan, but he guessed he wasn’t exactly one to talk, with the dark eyeliner on his frown and a rainbow flag in the metaphorical backpack.

Right now, surprisingly enough, Kyoutani was _not_ the one scowling.

“My sister—,” Watari started, in a low grumble, playing with the pen in his hand and not even bothering to pretend to be studying, “—is friends with the asshole’s girlfriend. She and her group of friends hang out at our place to study together quite often, and since he’s in college with them he comes along too. I don’t know when it really started, but, uh, Yahaba needed tutoring in science and the guy was good at it so they traded numbers.” He shook his head with reproach, “ _I_ suggested it actually. Should have kept my mouth shut, for once.”

Kyoutani was wishing for every god or demon or vaguely mystical thing that could be listening for this talk to be over _quickly_. It was just a crush, what he had on Shigeru; an infatuation he _knew_ he could grow out of if he wanted to. Turning his head the other side, squashing those fleeting feelings down at the gate and finally take one fucking look around to find someone else who was gay and single. Tanaka would surely help him, and so the other two. _But_. That didn’t mean he was okay listening to the story of how his crush fell hopelessly in love with an asshole. Another asshole; an asshole all the same, but not Kyoutani’s brand of asshole. And wasn’t that fucking annoying?

“Cut it short, Watari.” Kyoutani frowned, squirming just lightly in his seat but still trying so hard to hide his unease at the topic. “I don’t have time for gossips. He started to date the dude, so what? Good for him, and use protections.”

He almost bit his tongue in the last sentence. He hadn’t meant to say it. That was just the kind of jokes he’d make on the group chat or at rehearsals, not…not with _Watari_. Hell, not with anyone on the fucking team!

Indeed, Shinji looked at him like he’d just spurted horns on the spot. Then something weird happened to his mouth. It could have been a grin or a snarl, it was hard to tell because he was clearly trying to suppress it.

Whatever. It wasn’t meant to be funny, anyway.

“It’s just—” Watari bit his lower lip. Whatever thought he’d tried to express, it had sobered him down considerably, to the point that he was frowning now and staring at the table in between them. “He didn’t tell me anything at first and I was, okay, I understand, it’s something personal and delicate, I get it.” Again, that thing on his lips. Just that this time Kyoutani knew for sure it was an expression of distaste. “But when that asshole came here to see my sister, _with his girlfriend_ , what was I supposed to think?!”

Kyoutani arched a brow. “That he’s a fucking cheater?”

He didn’t really get what straight or gay had to do with this. A two-timer was a bastard, no matter the gender of the person he was cheating on. That was the same for everyone, he was pretty sure.

Watari’s hands snapped in his direction, pointing at him. “Exactly! Yes!” he exclaimed. “But when I told him what I saw, he said _I know_. Nothing else, he just stood there looking at me with an embarrassed face and kept on defending him. Said it was just a way to protect himself from his parents, that he didn’t love her for real and it was just a fake thing.”

That was… fucked up. Kyoutani couldn’t even picture it, kissing someone you weren’t even attracted to, pretending like that. He would go crazy in under five minutes. Rather than, Kyoutani would prefer staying alone. It sounded extremely painful, not to mention so unfair toward the girl who was getting roped along into something she would never get anything out of.

Kyoutani didn’t know anything about the boy, it may even be that he really had no choice, but with his comments about bisexuals — which meant Ryuu, yeah, but also Yahaba himself, how could you date someone who talked shit about you like that? — and now this whole fake-dating-secret-dating stuff… No, Kyoutani didn’t like him at all. So? Fucking sue him.

To Watari’s worried pout, he shrugged nervously. “Doesn’t Yahaba have other queer friends?” Kyoutani was pretty sure that if he’d ever get roped into such a situation, Tanaka would come running and take his door down. Iwaizumi too, probably. “What about Oikawa?”

Watari slumped against his table, chin resting on his crossed arms even as he awkwardly shook his head. “Shige hasn’t told him anything about this boyfriend.”

Kyoutani scoffed. “So he _knows_ something’s not right about the asshole.”

“Yes. I mean, no, I— Shit, I don’t know? It’s so hard to talk with him about this. He just keeps denying what I say or just shutting me out because I _just can’t get it_. It’s making me anxious as hell.” Watari sighed. “On one hand, I just want to go to the captain and spill it all, but on the other hand what if I do it and Shige stops telling me stuff? And then he gets himself in some even worse situation but won’t tell me because he doesn’t trust me anymore? It’s a fucking mess. I can’t find a solution.”

Kyoutani had a solution alright. It involved him, Tanaka, Yamamoto, Misaki, and potentially Iwaizumi and Oikawa, waiting on the asshole in some alley and then scaring the fuck out of him and him away from Yahaba. A-hundred-percent guaranteed to work.

Instead, since he somehow doubted Watari would be on board with his fucking amazing plan, he asked, “Do you think his parents know anything?”

He was going down every road he would take for himself. Kenta would be the second, if not first, he would go to if he were to feel something was wrong with the person he was dating.

“They know about Yahaba’s sexuality for sure,” Watari shrugged. “His mom’s bisexual too, actually. But I don’t think he’s told anyone except me about the guy. I think— I think the fact that I reacted badly pushed him to keep it quiet to everyone else too.” His gaze lifted, just enough to find Kyoutani’s. “Well, at least until he blurted it out to you.”

Kentarou didn’t like that look. It didn’t like it at fucking all. “No,” he said. Just… _preemptively._

Watari’s mouth opened and stilled in one motion. His eyebrows furrowed just slightly for a moment, before he finally stopped gaping to settle on glaring. 

“Still no.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say!”

“You’re going to ask me to get involved because you’re a fucking meddler, and I don’t want to get fucking involved any more than I already am so, no.”

“But he’s not going to listen to me!”

Kyoutani felt his eyes widen so much they almost fell off his skull. “And what makes you think he would listen to _me_?!” What the fuck was wrong with two thirds of his damn team?

This time, Watari hesitated longer to answer. In the end, quite lamely, he just lifted his shoulders and dropped his gaze. “I don't have any other idea to try?”

Great. So now Kyoutani was the last fucking option. Plan Z, not even B. Fuck that.

“I’m not getting into this,” he said. _Don’t look at him, don’t look at him, he’s going to try and guilty trip you into this, you know he is, don’t fall for it!_ “It wouldn’t help anyway.”

The light from the window came in orange and red shades. Night was just behind the corner and the thought being late to dinner was regularly brought up again in the sound of Kenta’s scolding voice, but both their phones had kept quiet the whole time. Had he turned his on after practice, now that he thought about it? Oh.

“You’re right,” Watari said, looking all but happy about it. “I just— I don’t like the idea of staying here watching until he unavoidably gets hurt. It’s a tragedy waiting to happen and I hate it.”

Okay, now it was turning into a really, _really,_ uncomfortable discussion. “You’re his friend,” Kyoutani muttered, trying to muster up as much gruff as he could, least Watari dared to think he _cared_. “’t’s normal.”

He resolutely didn’t meet Watari’s face and just stared pointedly at his crossed ankles. Why couldn’t he fucking disappear and reappear at home instead? Everything would be better than just…being all mushy-feely with Watari. What the heck, how did he even get himself in this situation?!

Oh, right. His brain decided getting a crush on his captain would be a fucking great idea.

Fuck brains.

“You know, Kyoutani,—” Watari titled his head to a side, a soft surprise making him blink with uncomfortable frequency, “—you’re very different from what I thought.”

 _Well, then you shouldn’t judge people before knowing them,_ but he didn’t say it. First, it’d be an hassle to get into that kind of discourse and Kyoutani _hated_ talking, especially about feelings and shit like that. He’d done enough of it with his whole coming out process and he felt he’d done enough to be excused from feelings, as an whole concept, for the next decade at least. Second, Watari was honestly the least annoying on the team and making him guilty was like kicking a puppy, which, really, _no_.

So he shrugged and grunted, because he’d learnt most people were satisfied with as much when dealing with him.

Misaki would kick his ass, but she wasn’t there so, fuck it.

Watari opened his mouth, maybe to insist — _please, no, come on_ —, but his mother’s shrilly voice interrupted him from downstairs, asking about whether or not their guest would stay over for dinner. Kyoutani wondered for a moment if she was extending the invitation to the whole neighborhood, what with how loud she’d yelled.

Watari winced. “She’s French,” he whispered. “She moved here for work, met my dad, remained and stuff, but she’s never really left all the manners of her home-country. She thinks us Japanese are too stiff.” He didn’t look apologetic, though maybe a bit uneasy. There was fondness in his voice, and Kyoutani tried to imagine what it would feel, to be embarrassed of your mom’s overly open attitude rather than her absence.

Though already standing up, he hurried in shaking his head to Watari’s confusion. “She seems nice, but I can’t stay. My dad’s waiting for me.”

He didn’t want Shinji to think he had a problem with his mom being a foreigner. He didn’t think it was as bad as being gay, but he had no doubt that being of mixed blood still came with some nasty prejudice in Japan, and Watari really didn’t need that, least of all from his teammates.

So, Kyoutani was a good kid. Sue him and his grandma for that.

Watari smiled at him. It was just a bit broader than usually and Kyoutani found himself thinking it was kinda pretty, though not as much as Shigeru’s.

 _Fuck you, brain._ He didn’t need to think that, not now, not ever. Yahaba was in a whole new level of mess and Kyoutani didn't want to get stuck in the middle of it. Nope.

He let himself being accompanied downstairs, fended every attempt of Watari’s mother to keep him over and mused over how, somehow, he could pick the similarities between her and her son despite the fact that Watari looked far more Japanese than European. When he finally managed to leave, he was so late to dinner his stomach was growling and he had a scowl on his face at the mere idea of going through another of his father’s lectures.

He huffed and kicked a pebble, but there was no avoiding it. Better just get it over with. So he pulled his phone from his bag and turned it on with a long sigh.

Unsurprisingly, there was already a call and two texts from his dad. Because of fucking course. He was starting to call him back when, under the rhythmic rings, he started hearing his phone buzzing for an incoming waterfall of texts.

He pulled the device from his ear with a frown and caught just a couple previews as they overwrote each others before his father’s faint voice reached him sternly from the microphone. His blood was already running cold, by then.

“ _Kentarou? Ken? Are you there?_ ”

“Dad.” His voice didn’t break, but there was a growl underneath it, a roughness in his throat, that he knew his father had to have picked up on. “Dad, I’m sorry, I won’t come home tonight.”

There was a moment of silence at the end of the line, broken only once by Jun’s barks. “ _Are you safe?_ ”

As of now. Though Kentarou wouldn’t bet on it for long, depending on what the chat messages say. “Tanaka texted that Yamamoto and Misaki are over at his place. Says it’s an emergency so I’m going there.”

His father hummed under his breath, before exhaling, loudly. “ _Do you need a ride there?_ ”

Kentarou thought about Watari’s mom and decided, he was okay without his own. He got his dad, and he was good enough.

“No,” he gulped, his feet moving fast to carry him to the train station. “It’s fine, I can get there in an hour with the train.”

His father sighed again. “ _Just text me when you get there, and call if I need to come pick you up. You kids stay safe, you hear me?_ ”

When Kentarou was eight, he’d climbed a tree on their backyard and then got stuck, unable to climb his way down. After an hour, two, two and half, his father had come looking for him, not seeing him from the windows. He’d called his name again and again before he’d looked up and noticed him, pouting and clinging to a branch for his dear life. It had taken him twenty minutes to wrangle out of his kid that he hadn’t answered because he could do it on his own, he was doing just fine, he didn’t need help. By that point, it was evening and Kenta had sighed before saying: _you’re going to make me age faster than I should, kid._

He could kind of see his father, right now, hair growing whiter by the day, wrinkles painted on his face every time his son pulled one of his stunts. It made him feel a bit amused and a bit guilty.

The train hooted as it approached the station and Kentarou sprinted through the crowd.

 

***

 _You’re writing on_ **_BadBoysAndAGoodGirl_ **

 

 **_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _ryuu r u hm_

 **_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _going out on a limb and assuming you meant home_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _yeah i am_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _why_

 **_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _msaki neds hlp_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _cn ve com therre???_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _we kindaa ran_

 **_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _ran?! from where?1_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _sure you can ill tell sis_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _take dont pull this on me now_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _take i swear_

 **_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _srry!!!_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _train i gllry no singal_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _we fine!_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _jst fam diner u now_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _hana nneded gtting ot_

 **_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _???_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _what happened to misaki? is she okay?_

 **_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _bout tat_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _cnfesssion tme wen we gt tere_

 **_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _?????????????_

_______

 

 _You’re writing to_ **_TanakaSenpai_ **

 

 **_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _hey kyou_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _ok dont freak out_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _think you can get to my place tonight?_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _you havent been online for hours so i guess youre busy but_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _just try to get here as soon as you can?_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _dont worry! taketora and misaki are okay!_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _they just need to talk to us about some stuff and theyd rather just do it once so_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _just get here as soon as you can okay?_

 **_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _YOU ASSHOLE COULDNT TEXT BACK AT ALL BEFORE COMING HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS A ROBBER!_

 **_KyouKen:_ ** _you think robbers ring the doorbells?_

 **_Tanaka Senpai:_ ** _FUCK YOU_  
**_Tanaka Senpai:_ ** _ALSO STOP RINGING IM COMING_

_***_

 

“I fucking hate you.”

Kyoutani scoffed, the sound more similar to a dog’s than a human’s. “You don’t,” he knew. “Where are the others?”

Tanaka wasted a total of three more seconds glaring at him before finally stepping over and letting him in. “They're in my room, sis went out with some friends so it’s just the four of us.”

Taking off his shoes and shedding his jacket were painfully long actions when every nerve of his screamed to run up those steps and check on his friends, but he forced himself through the motions as Tanaka looked at him with worry etched in his features.

Well, guess they were going to know what happened now, uh? Kyoutani and Tanaka shared a worried look for just a second before almost catapulting themselves into the house. They just stopped themselves from barging into the room as if it was on fire, but even so they opened the door with just a touch of strength too much, and they got stuck in the middle as they both tried to enter at the same time.

Yamamoto, sitting on the floor, turned to look at them with confusion, while Misaki, on Tanaka’s desk chair, glared at them as if they were the bane of her existence. Which, considering the team she managed, was plain fucking rude.

Kyoutani just glared back.

“All right, why don’t we all just sit down?” Yamamoto offered, grinning the fakest smile Kyoutani had ever seen on him.

_Red flag. Big, huge ass, red flag._

He sat down. Tanaka moved just a step further to complete the ring and then sat down himself, looking warily between his friends. “Okay, what about we start from the beginning? Like, what happened at—”

“I’m a boy.”

Kyoutani heard, rather than saw, Tanaka’s neck cracking as he snapped his head toward Misaki, but he couldn’t bother moving his eyes from her, no, him?, himself. He was too caught watching his friend’s frame curling into a ball on the chair, knees to chest and eyebrows closer.

Tanaka let out an eloquent, “Uh?”, which at least ripped a huff from Misaki. “I’m a boy. I identify as a boy, I feel like a boy. I’m a trans boy.” A groan. “I’ve just been so stressed with university and long distance and all, and I usually can ignore it, but tonight I really couldn’t take having my whole family misgendering me the whole time. I just needed a break and Taka came up with an excuse so we could bail. And we came here.”

It took a few seconds to rearrange the words in a way that didn’t take up the whole room. In a way that allowed him to speak without letting the whole dam of, _what?!_ , slipping out. He screened everything out and what was left was a soft, whispered, “okay.”

Misaki looked at him and blinked. “Yeah?”

The answer was so short, so unlike the Misaki he was used to know, that Kyoutani had to scowl and nod, fiercely straightening his spine and squaring his shoulders.

Misaki smiled a bit, and Taketora’s hand found _his_ knee. 

Tanaka huffed. “But, man, that must have sucked. I mean, I’ve never been through that, but it must have sucked some serious ass to be there, tonight.”

Yamamoto frowned. “Does _sucking ass_ really work here? Isn’t that too gay to apply to a bunch of straights?”

“Hell, no, leave the ass sucking to us queers, they don’t deserve it,” Misaki grinned, shaking his head a bit. “Wow, this feels so much better.”

Kyoutani mentally noted to check on the internet for transexuality, what to do and what not to do, just in case. Misaki could be a serious hard-ass when it came to his health so they’d have to keep an eye on him, just in case.

He must have zoned out of the discussion for a bit, because he blinked and Misaki was smacking Yamamoto with a pillow that came from who-fucking-knew-where. As the attack continued, through laughters, Tanaka looked at Misaki and got a planning glint in his eyes.

“You should shave your head.” He said it just like that, out of nowhere at all, and everybody turned to him with a slight frown. He kept on smiling, undeterred. “Yeah, so you can match with us. We can be a proper squad, like those biker gangs and stuff!”

Kyoutani arched a brow. “You can’t even ride a bicycle, let alone a real bike.”

“I can!”

“Yeah,—” Misaki laughed, “—with children wheelers.”

They all laughed, and Tanaka growled some curse under his breath. He crossed his arms in front of his chest as he glared at each one of them. “Well, if you were real friends you’d attach wheelers to your bicycles to support me,” he claimed.

Misaki didn’t miss a beat. “Thank fuck that we’re a bunch of assholes, then.”

Again, they laughed, and Tanaka pointed his finger at them. “Fuck you! Fuck you! And fuck you especially!”

Kyoutani’s eyes cross to meet the finger for a second, before he frowned as the words registered. “What did I even—!”

“I’d like it, though.”

Silence came back immediately. They all turned to Misaki, Yamamoto worrying his lower lip. “Like what?” he asked.

Misaki shrugged. “Do it. Shave my hair.” He looked at Tanaka. “You think I can get it done?”

Ryuu seemed to think about it, but ended up shrugging. “My sis does my hair every time, and it’s honestly not that hard? I can try or we can wait and ask her when she comes back, whichever you want.”

Misaki hummed softly, whispered “sounds nice” under his breath as his eyes went vacant for a moment. Whatever he was thinking, Yamamoto touched his knee again, and it brought him back. Misaki blinked, looked at all of them and settled on Tanaka. “But if you fuck it up, I’ll kick your ass.”

Kentarou wondered if being a boy, trans or not, automatically associated with making stupid ass decisions, because letting Tanaka with a pair of scissors anywhere near someone’s head definitely counted as such, but he didn’t make it in time before his friend had already sprinted out of the room. He looked at Misaki with something akin to pity instead, and got just a shrug in answer.

“As long as it’s masculine enough to give my grandparents an heart attack when I go back, I’m fine with it.” A soft blush covered his cheeks. “I think I want to start university as a boy. I mean, looking as one too, not just feeling as one in the wrong body. I’m tired of pretending that I’m a girl and okay with that.”

It was hard to counter that. “But _Tanaka_?”

Misaki laughed loudly. “Just keep him in line for me, Kyou.”

Ryuu came back with scissors and a razor, brandishing them as scepters, and Kyoutani groaned, because he never signed up for this.

 

***

 _You’re writing on_ **_BadBoysAndAGoodGirl_ **

 

 _——_ **_KyouKen_ ** _renamed the group-chat to_ **_BadBoysAndAGoodBoy_ ** _——_

 

 **_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _This makes it sound like I’m a dog._

 **_KyouKen:_ ** _Fine, see if I ever do anything nice for you again._

 **_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I know._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I appreciate it and I may or may not love you._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _It still sounds like I’m a fucking dog._

***

 

Kyoutani mentally apologized to his dad, and then felt like a fucking hypocrite because there was no way in hell that he’d tell his old man that Tanaka’s emergency evolved into Karaoke night on a school day. Kenta would ground him all the way to graduation, if he ever found out.

His justifications were, one, Misaki needed a break, and, two, Misaki looked and felt goddamn handsome with his head shaved and the blond marks showing off. Tanaka’s sister had came back in the middle of the job, and dug out some sports bra from when she was younger that could work as temporary binder for Misaki. Ryuu opened his closet and they dressed their friend in loose jeans, a bright red t-shirt and a black leather jacket.

Misaki had chuckled in the mirror, the shoulders of the clothes falling a bit too wide on his thinner frame. “I do look like a biker from a gang, like this.”

It was supposed to be a dress-up game to keep inside, a secret little step to see how it could be, but it turned out the Tanaka sibilings knew their way and, while the facial traits were still quite delicate, Misaki could pass as a rather feminine boy easily enough. The voice was still a bit high-pitch, but he wasn’t the singer of their group anyway so when Yamamoto had brought up karaoke to celebrate, they’d all hesitated, complained, stated all the reasons why it was a bad idea, and then agreed, because they were all morons in the end.

There was only one Karaoke close by, and they walked there in a cloud of insults and pushing and gay jokes that made Kyoutani struggle not to smirk the whole time. Yamamoto offhandedly threw in that he might not be into sex at all, but that he was still looking and would tell them when he felt surer. They all shrugged it off and just let him dangle his hand as it held Misaki’s.

It was already quite late and still the middle of the week, so it was no surprise that they didn’t meet many people in the thirty minutes walk. What was a real surprise was hearing the loud chatter of a big group of people and finding a crowd of around ten between university and high school students waiting in front of the Karaoke.

At once, they all checked on Misaki, who didn’t appreciate and punched them all on the arm. “I’m fine, you idiots,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m feeling better like this, than I ever did dressed as a girl. I don’t care if anyone sees me, I wouldn’t have accepted to go out if I did.”

Still, they closed their ranks around him. Misaki cuffed them all on the nape, this time, but didn’t protest too much.

When they approached, Yamamoto took off to check if there was a free booth as they waited outside. Kyoutani could feel the other group eyeing them, and he tried to be civil for an whole total of thirty seconds before the looks pissed him off.

It wasn’t like Tanaka hadn’t been glaring at them already, anyway.

So he turned, eyes ready to set a bitch on fire, when they met a pair of brown irises and the fired got extinguished by a frozen avalanche of, _fuck, no_.

“Kyouken?!” Yahaba squeaked, and Kyoutani wondered if this was some kind of divine punishment for students who sneak out instead of going to sleep the night before a school day. _You get to go out, but you’re stuck meeting your unrequited crush._  

Your unrequited crush as they stand far too close to someone else, someone you know is an asshole but your crush wouldn’t leave anyway.

_Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck._

“You know them, Shige?” The guy beside Yahaba was tall, dark haired and with a air of snobbiness to him. He was holding hands with a girl on his left, but the way Yahaba stuck to his right let Kyoutani know all he needed to. _Asshole._

Yahaba seemed too confused to even look at him. “Teammate,” he just threw behind himself, distracted, as he moved to approach Kyoutani with a frown. “What are you doing here? I didn’t peg you as a karaoke person.”

Kyoutani could feel Misaki seething in his place at the careless judgement of him. He just growled back, without real words, and Yahaba’s expression morphed into the usual one of haughtiness he used when dealing with Kentarou and his moods.

“Are you serious?!” he hissed.

“Are you?” Kyoutani felt the arm wrapping around his shoulders immediately loosening them, and leaned slightly into Tanaka’s side as they both glared at the group. “Don’t diss it before you try it, alright, _pretty boy_? This guy’s got some pipes on him and you don’t know shit.”

Kyoutani wasn’t sure whether it was more pressing to freak out over Tanaka calling Yahaba a _pretty boy_ or over the absolute horrible pronunciation that made it sound like _potty boy_. Both were firm and valid points in his descent into actual _Hell_ come next morning.

Yahaba, _obviously_ , seemed to have a retort ready on his lips; because when did he not? Though, he was beat by a derisive snort from behind him that caught all the attention. The asshole had moved his arm from dangling in his girlfriend’s grasp to circling her shoulders possessively. Kyoutani didn’t miss the slight flinch of Yahaba’s hand, interrupted as it tried to curl into a fist by a steely willpower and a loyal dedication to getting himself martyrized in the name of some shitty high school romance dream.

When he glared at the guy, it was much more personal than because of the insult to his own person. “You got a problem?”

 _Say yes,_ he mentally dared. He wasn’t type to get into fights for the fun of it, but he was not above entering one against someone who deserved it. And, hell, this guy was _long_ overdue for an ass-kicking.

Tanaka hip-checked him slightly, a warning, but it wasn’t necessary as the other dude backed off immediately. “Just impressed,” he said, clearly not meaning it in the slightest. “I’d like to see that.”

“Why not?” Two things you could count on, in the bunch of assholes that were Kyoutani’s friends: one, timing; two, they had his back, always, no questions asked. Yamamoto just kept the door open behind himself as Misaki, close to him enough to know he’d already been debriefed on the situation, gestured them all in. He went on, “The biggest booth is gonna be free in a minute. We could just share.”

Tanaka didn’t even try to hide his snort, and Kyoutani was simply too annoyed to bother with anything but a deeper scowl. Yahaba looked hesitantly to his secret boyfriend, muttering a soft, “come on, Hiroshi,” before getting rudely shushed.

 _Shushed._  

If Kyoutani had done that, Yahaba would have cut his balls off and hanged them above the gym door as a warning for many years and many freshmen to come. 

For some reason, he had the feeling that would feel better than watching his captain dutifully stepping down, meek, expression smoothed into a tired mask. It didn’t even look like Shigeru’s face anymore.

Hiroshi shrugged, completely indifferent. “Fine by me. Guys?”

The chorus of uneasy assents made Kyoutani’s blood boil and his fists clench. What was this?, a royal charade with full entourage? Did any of them, even Yahaba, just ever tell this guy to go fuck himself on a cactus when he deserved it?

Did any of them know about Yahaba and just kept the pretense on?

He hip-checked Tanaka back, just hard enough to make him take a step closer to the entrance door of the Karaoke. “Great,” he hissed, sarcastic.

If Yahaba watched him march in with his friends, Kyoutani didn’t look back to check.

 

***

 _You’re writing to_ **_Watari WhyMe Shinji_ **

 

 **_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _CODE BLOOD ORANGE_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _CODE RED_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _MAYDAY_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _EMERGENCY ALERT_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _SHINJI FOR FUCK’S SAKE WHERE ARE YOU IN MY TIME OF NEED_

 **_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Sorry, I was watching TV with my mom, you know how she gets with her bonding time thing…_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _What happened?!_

 **_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _STUPID KYOUTANI_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _THE ONE NIGHT I GET WITH MY BOYFRIEND HE HAS TO SHOW UP_

 **_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _I swear I didn’t sick him on your boyfriend!_

 **_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _HE AND THAT STUPID GANG OF BICKERS OF HIS_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Wait, what._

 **_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _What? What bickers?_

 **_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Don’t change the fucking topic, you ass!_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Watari Shinji, what did you do?!_

 **_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Absolutely nothing!_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Oh wait, I think my mom’s calling me again…_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Sorry gotta go…_

 **_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _DON’T YOU DARE_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Whatever, I’ll grill you tomorrow about that_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Right now I’ve got a more pressing issue_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Namely, Kyoutani and Hiro getting at each other’s throats in a Karaoke booth_

 **_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _… what._  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _… no really, what._

 **_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I don’t even know!_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _We were waiting for our turn at the Karaoke booth and bam!_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Kyoutani and his gang show up, in all their leather jackets glory to put Grease to shame!_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I don’t even know how it happened, I just know Hiroshi kinda challenged them to a competition with us? Or maybe Kyoutani’s friend did, I’m not sure, it snowballed too fucking fast._  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I just know I’m stuck in a Karaoke booth now with Hiroshi and gf by my side and Kyoutani glaring at us from the other side of the table!_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _What should I do?!_

 **_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _…_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Fake your own death?_

 **_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Don’t fucking tempt me._

_***_

 

Kyoutani had to admit, Hiroshi wasn’t bad for an amateurish singer. He had a pleasant voice and could keep in tune for most of the song, slipping only a little and only in the highest pitched notes. In a Karaoke night with friends, with half of them blatantly well on their way to drunk, there was no doubt he could defeat them all easily. 

Point being, _amateurish_. Kyoutani hadn’t been an amateur at singing since he started taking lessons at ripe age of ten, so fuck that little shit.

As Hiroshi approached the end of the pathetically honeyed love song he’d been singing — with irritatingly winking looks in the vague direction of the bench where both his girlfriend and a miserable Yahaba sat _side by side_ —, Tanaka leaned over Kentarou’s shoulder to whisper in his ear.

“I could give him a ride for his money,” he said, the smirk all too evident in his voice. “But you can destroy him.”

Oh, he knew. “Back me up?”

Tanaka snorted as an answer.

Misaki had opted to lean deep into Yamamoto’s side and his legs were stretched to occupy all the rest of the bench, forcing a few of the other party to squash themselves to fit in the remaining ones. It was petty and amazing and Kyoutani hid his smirk by chugging down a gulp of his water.

Hiroshi was done just after, and offered him the microphone with a condescending look. He didn’t seem bothered at all by Kyoutani’s lack of reaction to his not quite stellar performance, but maybe he was just that arrogant.

Kyoutani picked the thing and went to select the song without a word. The choice range wasn’t too wide and quite apart from the things he personally preferred, but it wasn’t much of a bummer when he had a peculiar goal in mind. The idiot struggled with high notes, didn’t he?

Misaki let out an ugly snort when the display showed, but it was just as unsurprising as it was Hiroshi’s scoff. “Adam Lambert?” he asked with a sneer, “That’s gay, man.”

Kyoutani turned to look at him, unsure whether his face was pulling off a disgusted or a shocked expression. He decided it was probably a scowl, and he decorated it with a twirl of his hand to throw the back-up singer microphone into Tanaka’s hands.

With a dispassionate glare, it was his time to scoff. “Hell yeah I’m gay, _man._ ”

 

***

 _You’re writing to_ **_Watari WhyMe Shinji_ **

 

 **_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Holy shit_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _kljkhlwelifhalghaegriir……agaga…gegyjyr…ryyte……….rgaqaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_

 **_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _…what?!_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Yahaba?_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Yahaba, are you okay?_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Yahaba?!?!?!_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Okay, I’m giving you sixty seconds and then I’m calling Kyoutani…_

***

 

If for a single, fleeting moment, Kyoutani had thought that having Yahaba there would make him embarrassed of singing, it flew straight out of the window when the beat bounced around the walls and Tanaka howled a laughter in his ear. Wrapping an arm around his midsection, Tanaka pulled back just enough to give him a view of his shark-like smirk, and the glint in his eyes.

A scenic teasing kiss to the corner of his lips, a softer hip-check, Ryuu set the mood to full-out _gay_ , and then bounced back to let him take the stage. By then, Kyoutani’s blood was running crazy in his veins and any stray thoughts of crushes and anger and disappointment vanished. 

Ryuu shed his leather jacket with a flourish, reveling in Yamamoto’s and Misaki’s wolf-whistles and the shocked looks of the other guys.

Kyoutani’s heart-beat shifted to match the music’s.

 _“_ _So I got my boots on,_  
_got the right amount of leather,_  
_and I'm doing me up with a black color liner,_  
_and I'm working my strut but I know it don't matter:_  
_all we need in this world is some love.”_

Tanaka was vocalizing more than he was supposed to, close behind him, but Kyoutani wasn’t bothered by the familiar quirk. Instead, he was just looking at the spot Hiroshi took, between both his _lovers_. So, he might have hit his boot on the floor a bit too strongly, and his smirk might have been just a bit too smug as his eyes shone under the light, heavy, so, _so heavy_ , with pitch black make-up.

Hiroshi’s sneer was slowly faltering, his eyes just a bit too wide, as his girlfriend squirmed uneasily under his arm. She was that much more expressive than him and it was clear that a single stanza had been enough for her to realize who was better. Yahaba, for himself, had looked up from his phone, despite how dutifully he’d buried his nose in it the past few minutes, and was staring with mouth gaping and eyelids dropping at weird times.

Oh, that felt good.

Kentarou let the next lines slip from his mouth as he turned back to Tanaka, who didn’t even bother hesitating before draping himself all over him. It was mild enough not to send Kyoutani in a panic, but just clear enough to double up the uneasy of their spectators.

Except Hana, Kyoutani considered as he sang the lines of the chorus right at him, because _Hana_ was too busy recording to bother with anything else. Yamamoto seemed just amused and fond, no fun there.

Back to his own personal goal, Kentarou looked back to Yahaba. Hiroshi was an asshole, he didn’t deserve any more time than it took to put him back to his place, but Shigehiro…he was just frustrating. He was attractive, smart, captain of one of the best volleyball teams in the HS circuit. He could have so much more, be it Kyoutani or not, just—why this bastard?

Kentarou bent his knees just a bit, enough to let his hips sway, and his grin widened as Tanaka whooped behind him. He didn’t move any closer to the love triangle, but he knew his gaze was intese enough to give the impression of the room shrinking.

Misaki had tutted him for his scowl, once. “ _You’ve got magnetic eyes and a mean eye-liner, Kyou; fucking use them._ ”

Did he just imagine Yahaba swallowing as he mentioned boys in Maserati’s?

 _“There’s a thin line between the wild time_  
_and a flat-line, baby, tonight;_  
_it's a struggle, gotta rumble, tryin' to find it.”_

Yahaba’s phone fell to the floor from his slackened grip as Kyoutani hit the highest notes for the chorus. It was almost, _almost_ , hilarious enough for him to snort in the middle of the song. If he’d been less than a hard practice when it came to his singing, he probably would have.

As it was, the temptation to check on whichever expression his captain might have had as he scurried to pick his phone up was definitely high. It took all of Kyoutani’s willpower to turn his back on it, but he knew if he’d find shame or embarrassment he _would_ laugh and his pride wouldn’t allow a defeat for such a dumb reason.

Tanaka must have realized because he sauntered close again, and this time made sure they were chest to chest and nose to nose, so he’d fill Kyoutani’s sight completely. Which was not bad, because Ryuu was, objectively, attractive; and if Kentarou imagined his skin just a bit less tanned, and his eyes just a bit lighter, and a soft mop of hair on his head, well, none would ever be the wiser.

Except, maybe, again, Hana, who was fucking laughing his ass off somewhere behind them. Fuck him.

Kyoutani moved his free hand to Tanaka’s waist to ground himself into the performance, unwilling to lose his focus now that the most difficult part was approaching.

 _“The flashing of the lights,_  
_it might feel so good,_  
_but I got you stuck on my mind, yeah.”_

Tanaka’s hand brushed his chest as he leant over to add his vocalizing straight into Kyoutani’s mic.

 _“The flashing and the stage,_  
_it might get me high,_  
_but it don't mean a thing tonight.”_

Yamamoto placed an enthusiast kiss on Misaki’s temple. Kyoutani only realized because of the loud smacking sound, which also pointed out how close he and Tanaka were to kissing again.

For a moment, he toyed with the idea. He wouldn’t do it, because he didn’t have Tanaka’s permission and Tanaka was taken, but the scenario played in his mind, corroborated by the memory he had.

How soft it would be, how it’d taste so strongly of toothpaste and how Tanaka’s nose would poke his cheek because that asshole never knew how not to be impatient. How gentle his touch in Kyoutani’s hair as his fingertips scraped gently along his nape, through the buzzed hair.

 _“Yeah, if I had you,_  
_then money, fame and fortune_  
_never could compete.”_

How strong the grip of his other arm around Kyoutani’s waist, not to hurt, just enough to remind how easily it’d be for him to pin Kentarou against the wall again, surrounded by the scent of coconut shampoo that Oikawa had gifted him with all kind of ceremonies at a training camp, and how he’d tower over, boxing him in just enough to feel so goddamn safe, and—

 _“If I had you,_  
_life would be a party,_  
_it'd be ecstasy.”_

Shit. Shit, fuck, fuck, shit.

_“Yeah, if I had you.”_

His voice had roughened up around the freezing shower of realization. It didn’t show through, it just added some to the song, but Kyoutani felt immediately vulnerable and his eyes widened enough for Tanaka to pick up and hastily, though nonchalantly, putting some distance between them. 

Kyoutani took a step himself, fighting the need to physically shake the image out of his head.

The highest pitched notes of the song came up immediately after, and helped taking his mind off its distraction as he was forced to close his eyes and focus not to miss them, but the song would be over shortly and he lost his battle against the need to check on Yahaba, to make _fucking sure he didn’t notice, for fuck’s sake—_

He didn’t, he probably didn’t. When Kyoutani opened his eyes on him, Yahaba looked too goddamn shaken to form any kind of coherent thought. Hiroshi, besides him, was blatantly seething, and his girlfriend looked unsure too.

It was the asshole part of Kyoutani’s brain that decided to arch a brow in their direction as he sang the last line.

_“If I had you.”_

If he could say so himself, the implicit _I would treat you so much better_ was blatant enough, to understanding ears.

 

***

 _You’re writing to_ **_KyouKen_ **

 

 **_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Hey, Kyoutani-kun, I’m sorry to bother you this late, but Yahaba told me you two sort of ran into each others and then he stopped answering abruptly…_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Can you just tell me if he’s okay? I’m a bit worried here…_  
**_Watari WhyMe Shinji:_ ** _Sorry again for the trouble…_

***

 

The music abruptly cut off, and Kyoutani let his arm drop to his side. A scowl came back to his face as if it never left, and that tiny speck of alternative persona that showed through when he performed submerged again.

Hiroshi jumped to his feet. Kyoutani was ready to deck him in the face with the hand wrapped around the mic, but two arms wrapped around his trunk from behind, effectively trapping him.

“Alright, let’s get going.”

All eyes snapped to the side, Kyoutani’s mostly out of habit, and laid on Hana as he cracked his spine before standing up, Yamamoto faithfully to his side. 

Hana’s glare was all ice as he stared Hiroshi down. “We’re clearly done, here.”

It was not backing off; more like the winning team leaving the court before the losers, for once. Kyoutani was all too happy to oblige, because the asshole looked ready to talk bullshit and he felt ready to answer it with fists.

Misaki was the one to take over the mic to place it on the table and then grab his arm, wrapping around it possessively as Tanaka picked his discarded jacket from Yamamoto, so Kyoutani went willingly toward the door. He was barely touching the handle when he heard the poisonous word.

“ _Fags._ ”

Kyoutani was gone.

 

***

 _You’re writing to_ **_Shrek’sMalinconia_ **

 

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _My senpai senses are tingling_  
**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _One of the underclassmen is stirring shit_

 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _It’s Kyouken, isn’t it? I’d bet it_ (눈_눈)

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Hey_  
**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Why not Yahaba?_  
**_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _He’s just as bad as you when it comes to troubles!_

 **_HanaMakki:_ ** _both?_

 **_MattsunKawa:_ ** _both._

 **_HanaMakki:_ ** _both s gud_

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _I swear if you add that gif_

 **_MattsunKawa:_ ** _[TheRoadToElDorado.gif]_

 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _It could be worse!_  
**_☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _At least The Road To El Dorado is gay_ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **_HanaMakki:_ ** _so r u_

 **_MattsunKawa:_ ** _so its iwa_

 **_HanaMakki:_ ** _so its kyoken_

 **_MattsunKawa:_ ** _so its yahaba_

 **_HanaMakki:_ ** _interesting adition @Mattsun_

 **_MattsunKawa:_ ** _thank you @Makki_

 **_HanaMakki:_ ** _mmm_

 **_MattsunKawa:_ ** _mmm_

 **_Iwaizumi Hajime:_ ** _Next time I’ll need help I’ll call Watari_

 ** _☆*:.☆*:.Oikawa Tooru..:*☆..:*☆:_** _Mean Iwa-chan!_ ٩(ఠ益ఠ)۶

***

 

“Ken, no!”

“Shit!”

“Get him off, now!”

“Is that blood?! Oh my god, he’s bleeding! Someone call an ambulance!”

Kyoutani came to himself with Tanaka's and Yamamoto’s backs shielding him from where Hiroshi’s friends were helping him stand up again and Misaki’s hands around an arm. Someone else was holding his other one, and it took him a painstakingly long time to realize it was Yahaba.

Yahaba who was now looking at Hiroshi himself and his girlfriend with his patented Blank Face of Disappointment. “It’s a _nosebleed_ ,” he was saying, in the same voice one would use with a spoiled brat. “Just get him a tissue, there’s no need for an ambulance.”

Hiroshi shrugged his friends off to glare at Kyoutani, who was all too happy to return the look, but apparently he’d appeased his chances and decided them not worthy because he didn’t try to approach them again. “Call the fucking police,—” he said instead, “—he fucking assaulted me!”

“After you called them a slur,” Yahaba rebutted immediately. Hiroshi looked taken aback by his standing of ground, but the other went on. “Call them, and I think I’ll have some to share myself.”

It didn’t make sense, in the middle of the conversation, for most people in the room, but Kyoutani picked the threat for the warning it was. Hiroshi must have done the same, because his eyes widened and his shoulders stiffened, but he made no move to add anything, to which Yahaba just nodded.

Misaki tugged at Kyoutani’s arm. “Let’s get out of here,” he said, an order in all and for all, but Kyoutani didn’t fight it.

There was a little bit of smugness sitting in his chest, surrounded by a tumultuous sea of burning rage and indignation.

Misaki pulled him away, Yahaba added his own strengh, and Kyoutani just shrugged them off and stormed out, confident that his friends at least would follow.

He couldn’t tell himself not surprised when the wind hit his face, he turned and Yahaba was there with them. He looked a bit lost and uneasy and he was eyeing the other three as if waiting for them to tear him to shreds too, but he was _there_ , outside with them rather than inside with Mr and Mrs Asshole.

He looked at Kyoutani with uncertainty. “You okay?”

Kyoutani arched a brow at him before pointing at his own face. “Not the one with a nosebleed, cap.”

“And thank fuck for that! You’re too pretty to ruin your face like that, you imbecile.” Before Kyoutani could react, Misaki cuffed his nape, _hard._ “Don’t you ever pull a stunt like that on me again, you get it?!”

Yamamoto dutifully raised his hand before speaking. “So, I guess I’m not allowed to say it was freaking awesome?”

“Heck yes you can!” Tanaka interrupted, bouncing on his feet. “It was amazing!”

Misaki glared at him. “No, it was not!”

“Why not?!”

“Because it could have landed Ken's ass in an whole lot of troubles!”

“Oh, right. Right, okay, no, it was not awesome. Well, maybe a bit, but not enough to get in trouble over.”

Kyoutani rolled his eyes at their antics before huffing an half-hearted “whatever” that got him a punch to the arm too. Geez, Misaki grew more violent every day.

“I’m sorry.” They were all caught by surprise as Yahaba’s voice cut in. He was looking at the floor, hands clenched in fists and trembling slightly with rage. “That was awful and you shouldn’t have had to deal with it.” He met Kyoutani’s eyes head on as he declared: “Hiroshi’s a sore loser.”

Kyoutani would deny to the end of the world that the admission of his victory mollified him a bit. Instead, he scoffed. “He’s an asshole full and whole.” And then, because he couldn’t stop himself: “What’s so good about him that’s worth dating?”

Yahaba spluttered, floundering amond “I”s and “I’m not”s before Misaki kicked Kyoutani’s ankle. 

“Ken,” he admonished, stern. “That was shitty.”

He knew. A little part of him didn’t regret it, though. “Whatever.”

Silence fell for a moment, awkward as they realized that all bets were off and none of their usual dynamics seemed to be apt for the five-people situation that had come to be. The night definitely ruined, Tanaka sighed deeply.

“Okay,” he said, mostly to fill the air. “Well, we all better go home anyway. Where you headed to, _pretty boy_?”

Yahaba blinked, caught by surprise, and Kyoutani snorted. “He goes my way,” he supplied helpfully, ignoring the glare he got from his teammate for answering in his place.

Misaki shrugged. “Then see him home. The two of you can take a train together alone right? We’re going back to Ryuu’s place.”

Last time he checked, Kyoutani was supposed to sleepover at Tanaka’s place too, and take the early train to school next morning, but apparently the plans had been changed without his knowledge. Meddling bastards. 

He tsked an annoyed “fine” and started walking his own way before anyone could add anything, before Yahaba could even realize. He heard some soft sentences behind him before a set of hurried footsteps caught up with him.

“You’re such an asshole,” Yahaba told him, but the words lacked the usual bite and he kept walking by his side the whole way to the station.

 

***

 _You’re writing to_ ** _Watary WhyMe Shinji_**  

 

 **_KyouKen:_ ** _???_

_____

 

 _You’re writing to_ **_Watari WhyMe Shinji_ **

 

 **_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _DON’T YOU DARE!_  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Fuck, Shinji._  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _I’m calling you as soon as I get home, okay? 1h tops._  
**_EvilCreamPuff:_ ** _Shit hit the fan so HARD tonight, damn._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shout, two years?! Are you serious?! I can't believe it, honestly.
> 
> Uh, hi?
> 
> Before you come at me with pitchforks and stuff, let me apologize. I started having troubles with this story as I started coming out to people outside of my friends, which means both strangers and family members. I don't know, it just hit too close to home as I was dealing with the whole process myself and by the time I felt okay writing this again it was, well, three days ago more or less. I'm really sorry.
> 
> For those of you who are still around, for some unfathomable reason, here it is. A new chapter, and THE chapter.
> 
> A note about Misaki: I had a plan to make him a trans guy even two years ago. I wanted to add the idea of coming out because of your gender and not only your sexuality because I felt like there's not enough attention to that side of this convoluted mess that is the CO process. That said, I'm a cis person so if I say anything wrong or hurtful in any way, just know that it was an accident, I didn't mean it and please point it out to me so I can correct it. I know it's a bit rushed for now, but there will be some issues that will be addressed in the next chapter, such as Misaki picking a new name and the whole HRT issue. I'm trying to find informations about how it works in Japan but if I'm not satisfied with them I'll just go by the Italian rules and we'll all pretend that's somehow realistic.
> 
> Yes, Yamamoto is on the ace spectrum, you'll see what he identifies as in the future chapters. You can also pry that from my cold dead hands.
> 
> I'd like to point out my original plan was to have Kyoutani walk out of the confrontation without starting a brawl, but my hatred for Hiroshi ended up having the best on me. Yahaba is going to made some serious thinking in the next chapter, I promise.
> 
> As always, Watari is my spirit animal.
> 
> I don't even know if there's anyone left around, but if you are still there after this long? Kudos and cookies to you. I hope this wasn't a full disappointment.
> 
> Soon!  
> Agap
> 
> P.S. I can't believe two years ago I wrote an "author's notes" defending straight people, lol, not to mention making it sound like I was secretly hetero-phobe, I even wrote "I have lots of straight friends!" and I wasn't even being ironical, oh my, I'm wheezing.


	5. Could

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoutani is 80% sure he killed someone in his past life and this is his punishment, Hiroshi makes a brief but nasty apparition and Kenta has more game than most of the kids in this story, actually. Tanaka and Yamamoto aren't happy at all. #Top10AnimeBetrayals

 

_**Could** _

 

 

_You’re writing on_ **_BadBoysAndAGoodBoy_ **

 

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN’T KISS HIM?!_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _KYOUTANI KENTAROU!_  

 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _What are you getting mad for?!_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _We took the train home and split up at the station!_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _In what fucking universe should I have kissed him?! Are you crazy?!_  

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _HELLO!_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _You sang him a love song! You punched his asshole ex! You walked him home!_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _What else are you waiting for?!_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Dumb boy._  

 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _I’m not waiting for anything, idiot!_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _And I DID NOT sing him a love song!_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _That was a competition!_  

 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _did i miss something?_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _i thought you were over the denial_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _didnt we go to tokyo just for that?_  

 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Fuck you, it’s not that! I did not!_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _Also, I punched the asshole because he insulted me and Ryuu._  

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Yeah, sure, and you absolutely didn’t hate his guts before, right?_  

 ** _Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _i mean_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _yahhaba cme uot wiht us in the and_  

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _^^^^^_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Look at my boyfriend, spreading words of wisdom._  

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _speaking the truth_  

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Indicating the path to all that’s right and good._

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _it rymed!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Here’s another rhyme:_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _Fuck the three of you._  

_***_

 

The fucking _nerve_.

Kyoutani felt the blood rush straight to his temples as he slammed the locker door open and took notice that, indeed, as Watari offhandedly mentioned, Yahaba was fucking _absent_. 

_A cold, my ass._

What the heck. He’d expected that stupid cream-puff to be pissed or weird today, it’d make sense, but to actively skip school, class and training alike, just to avoid Kyoutani? That was on an whole other level of _weird_. Not to mention suspicious as fuck, as proven by the fact that Oikawa’s eyes zeroed on Kyoutani as soon as he stepped into the locker.

“Kyou-Ken, exactly who I wanted to see today!” He sang-song his name in that annoying way of his, of when he was trying to fake being approachable and nice and cheery but was actually planning world domination or shit like that.

Kyoutani was _not_ overdramatic, he’d heard the third-years commenting on hypotheticals to bring the Japanese government to its knees one time too many to trust them in any capacity. Except Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi was good. 

Iwaizumi was especially good when he grabbed Oikawa by the neck of his shirt and hauled him back before he could crowd into Kyoutani’s space. The idiot whined something that gave Kentarou enough time to sneak past them and hurry to his locker to start changing. 

“Hey, Kyoutani?”

“For fuck’s sake, I never signed as Yahaba’s keeper!”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Or better yet, he should have, but in a lower voice. Now the whole team was staring at him and Oikawa had a devious expression on his face. 

At least, Watari had the decency to look apologetic as he shrugged his nape. Kyoutani decided to focus on how he seemed absolutely at ease, bare-chested in front of his newly outed gay teammate, he looked, rather than focusing on how the third years were probably going to haunt him the whole afternoon to know what the fuck happened.

“I just, uhm—” Watari looked around, clearly just as happy about their audience as Kyoutani himself. 

Iwaizumi caught their looks and pulled Oikawa further away, admonishing with one look Hanamaki and Matsukawa as well. “Everybody who’s changed already better have their ass out of this room by the time I count to three or I’m kicking them out myself.”

Kyoutani grinned internally at the speed to which everybody hurried out, but limited himself to just a nod in Iwaizumi’s direction, as he felt Watari’s eyes still piercing holes in the side of his skull. Oikawa pointed at his own eyes and then at Kyoutani with two fingers as he let his boyfriend drag him out, but his look remained calculating and he kept his mouth shut. Which was more than Kyoutani had hoped for, to be honest.

By the time he turned, they were alone in the locker room and Watari was—

“What the fuck?!”

“Thank you so much!” Watari yelled, without raising from his half bow, arms straight at his sides. Kyoutani instinctively took two step backward from the incomprehensible situation. 

He repeated, because clearly the message wasn’t received, “What the fuck!”

Watari pulled up, and whatever trace of unease had been there beforehand had now disappeared to leave room for a soft smile. He noticed Kyoutani’s spooked stance, the way his arms had raised instinctively as if to protect himself from an attack, and dared to laugh. “Sorry,” he hurried to add at the murderous glare he received. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Then don’t pull this shit!” Kyoutani frowned, striving to fake nonchalance as he straightened himself up. “What the fuck was that about anyway?!”

Watari’s grin took just a little edge of venom. “Yahaba called me last night. He told me what happened with Hiroshi.”

_Oh._ Well, it made sense. They were best friends; of course Yahaba would go to Watari for something this big, even if they usually didn’t talk about his relationship. “That still doesn’t explain shit.” He frowned harder. “Shouldn’t you both be mad at me? I punched the guy, I don’t know if you somehow missed it.”

“ _You punched someone?!_ ”

The door slammed open to cover up Kyoutani’s startled curse, and Watari’s squeal. Kentarou would have been more tempted to tease him about the sound if the person who’d just barged in with all the delicateness of an elephant was Oikawa _fucking_ Tooru. Again.

“What did I tell you about eavesdropping, Trashykawa?!”

“You just told me not to let you catch me doing it.” Oikawa waved Iwaizumi’s mad yells away with a flicker of the wrist, opting instead for grabbing and pulling him in before closing the door again. This time, he made sure to lock it. “This is too important, Iwa-chan!” Iwaizumi looked ready to counter that, when the other’s accusing finger pointed at Kyoutani’s nose. “He _punched someone_! This could be a disaster for the team!”

Kyoutani had to admit, he felt a tiny bit guilty when Iwaizumi’s eyes went wide in shock and maybe some disappointment. But then he remembered who he punched and why, and whatever guilt dissolved into a numb of annoyance. 

“The asshole was throwing slurs,” he defended, sulkily, looking at Iwaizumi alone. “He should have expected someone would answer back with punches. He was asking for it.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa exchanged a conflicted look. It was clear as day they both felt little sympathy for whoever was stupid enough to call Kyoutani a slur, but the potential backslash for the team, and for him personally, was indeed notable. They could be disqualified from the tournament, if it were to leak out, and even if the consequences were to be individual to pay, Kyoutani was currently Seijou’s _ace_ and losing him was a huge handicap for a team that just lost their main set of spiker and setter.

“What about you, Watari?” Iwaizumi redirected, his eyes sharp as they fell on the libero. “Why were you thanking him?”

“And what about Yahaba-chan!” Oikawa piped in with a sound of shrill annoyance. “He’s been ignoring my texts all day! And I somehow doubt he’s really gotten a cold.”

_A cold? That’s his bullshit excuse?_ Kyoutani wanted to strangle the idiot. Oikawa was annoying, but far from an idiot; it was clear the lie would have fallen short.

“Uhm, actually— I—”

“It’s Yahaba’s business to tell,” Kyoutani interjected when it was clear that Watari had no idea how to deal with the situation.

Oikawa’s pout was utterly ineffective on Kyoutani, but the flash of steel in his eyes one moment later was enough to give him a shiver. “ _Yahaba_ has been acting really strange as of lately,—” he said, slowly, “—and I am quite tired of him lying to my face about sudden eye-bags and red-rimmed eyes.” Kyoutani’s fist clenched instinctively at the mere thought of Yahaba, that stubborn piece of shit, crying over someone as undeserving as that Hiroshi. “Now you go and punch someone and Watari is all happy about it? Come on, Kyouken. I’m getting an idea of what happened, all I need is to know whether Yahaba is currently safe or not.”

Kyoutani couldn’t avoid sneaking a glance at Iwaizumi as the words settled, heavy, in the room. Oikawa was pulling at straw, here, drawing hazarded conclusions that he usually wouldn’t jump in, but with the recent events, Kyoutani could find it almost understandable. And Yahaba really did care for the upperclassmen, for as idiot as he might be, so if there was someone he would have a chance to listen to, that’d be Oikawa. Lastly, Hiroshi had enough of a bad vibe to his attitude to leave Kyoutani uneasy about Yahaba’s reaction last night.

In the end, it wasn’t up to him to decide.

Watari, bless his soul, was unable to let the misunderstanding go. “It’s not his parents,” he let out in a hurry, like air from a holed balloon. 

Iwaizumi frowned at him, and it was perfectly effective in breaking what little reserves the libero still had. “Who?”

“He has a boyfriend, or had, I’m not sure.” As soon as the words were out, Watari started torching his own hand nervously. It was clear he’d been waiting to spill his guts to someone and he had no intention of pulling back now, but it couldn’t be easy for him to blurt out his best friend’s secret without way of knowing if he’d be forgiven for it. “Kyoutani punched him last night.”

“He’s a piece of shit,” Kyoutani felt the need to point out. “A _cheating_ piece of shit.”

What little shred of fake cheeriness Oikawa froze in the coldness that took over his eyes. “Does Yahaba-chan know?”

Watari and Kyoutani both nodded, not willing to go into much more details, and both flinched when Oikawa cursed viciously. Iwaizumi himself a dark look to his eyes.

Kyoutani waited for the theatrics, the usual dramatic act that followed every other action of his captain out of the court, but it didn’t came. He was surprised when Oikawa just nodded to him and then stormed off. Not a word added. The door slammed behind him was the only warning that he had, indeed, left.

Iwaizumi sighed heavily. “He’ll try and check on Yahaba until he gets an answer,” he commented, looking at both of them. “If any of you hears from him, give either of us a ring, alright?”

Dutifully, Kyoutani and Watari returned their _yes’_ with a nod and Iwaizumi walked to the door.

“Kyoutani?” he called, as he touched the handle. “Good job.”There was an unspoken, _but don’t do it again_ , that followed Iwaizumi outside, so much louder as it was unspoken, and the he and Watari were left alone in the now empty locker.

They looked at each other.

“Yahaba will kill me when he finds out,” Watari commented.

“Yes,” Kyoutani answered, mercilessly, as he grabbed his shirt to change into.

“I wanted to go and check on him after practice.”

“Good. Get it over with the soonest possible.”

“Kyoutani.”

Kyoutani popped his head out of the shirt already scowling in Watari’s direction. The conversation was already sounding too dreadfully familiar for his taste. “No,” he said.

A little voice in his brain reminded him that he’d already denied meddling more than once, _and look how that turned out._ He mentally flipped it off and just took his shorts off.

Watari kept staring, unimpressed. “Come on, aren’t you at least a little worried about him? I think this is his first time ever skipping practice.”  _Not my problem, not my problem, not my prob—_ “Last I talked with him, Hiroshi had been pestering him for a meeting this morning before class.”

_Dammit._

Kentarou pulled his practice shorts up and pointed a finger at Watari’s face, close enough to his nose that the other had to cross his eyes to see it. “I really, _really_ fucking hate you.”

The asshole had the guts to smirk. No wonder he and Yahaba were best friends.

 

***

_Conversation with:_ **_Chemistry Tutor_ ** _★_

 

 ** _Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Are you serious now?_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _I can’t fucking believe it_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Are you even going to answer?_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Stop being a pussy and come back out!_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Are you going to hide behind your curtains for the rest of your life? Seriously?!_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _You’re crazy Shigeru_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Batshit crazy_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Like that rabid fag of your friend_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _And you know what? fine_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Want to know how many little twinks like you there are out there?_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _I don’t need you Shigeru_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Nobody fucking does_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _If you were worth the trouble don’t you think I would’ve broken up with her?_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _You’re just not worth it_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _I know you’re reading these Shigeru stop being a coward_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Can’t you even come out and confront me directly?_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _You say your words and then run the fuck away again without letting me give you my side of the story_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Should I expect your guard dog to come out and punch me again?_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _Can’t fight your own battles?_  
**_Chemistry Tutor ★_ ** **:** _I already knew you were a sissy but I didn’t think you were just completely without balls_  

 ** _You:_ ** _Fuck you_  
**_You:_ ** _I swear, Hiroshi, if you don’t leave now, I’ll call the police_  

 ** _—— You_ ** _blocked (_ **_+81) XXX XXXXXXX ——_**  
**_—— You_ ** _cannot receive messages from_ **_(+81) XXX XXXXXXX_ ** _anymore ——_  

***

 

Kyoutani was half convinced that someone had to have tattooed his forehead with “ _Dumbass_ ” or stuck a paper to his back saying “ _Professional Asshole-Sitter_ ”. And if he were to blame someone, he’d say it was either Tanaka or Misaki.

Yahaba lived in an apartment complex, not exactly fancy but distinguished enough that the Soccer Mom in the elevator looked at him with wide eyes when he hopped in with her and an old man with probably as many wrinkles as years.

_Don’t bother, don’t bother, don’t bother, ignore them, they’re not judging you, and if they are you don’t care about their opinions anyway._

He kept his eyes stubbornly stuck on the screen displaying the number of the passing floors all the way until fourth floor, then he scurried off as fast as he could. Mentally, he cursed Watari ten thousand times over and decided to make him his target for a good eighty percent of his spikes in the next practice. The fucker deserved the bruises.

_Speaking of fuckers._

Kyoutani was no an angry person, by nature. He’d been, soon after his mother left, when his father was struggling to move around and fix the pieces to build a new two-people family from the shards of their old one. But he’d grown out of it, he’d sung angry screams and spiked dents into his house’s fence until both his throat and his arms were sore and useless, and then he’d built himself up again. Sure, he was awkward and mistrusting and quiet, but he wasn’t _angry_ anymore.  

Now, though? Now he could feel rage in his veins like lava pooling down a volcano’s side, not like an explosion but rather like an inexorable march that brought him step by step closer to the guy pounding incessantly on the door of apartment 403.

“Oi.” _Give me a reason._ His hands clenched in fists in his pockets, the weight of the schoolbag against his side not heavy enough to impede his movements but just enough to be worth slamming into the fucker’s face.

When Hiroshi turned to the call, his nose and a good share of his left cheek were a sickly blackish and yellowish color. It was satisfying, but not enough to quell the need to paint the other side to match.

There was a moment in which the older guy wasn’t able to control his expression, barely an unguarded second but enough to let through a wince and a shadow of fear, then he went back to his snobbish attitude. He wore it with the confidence of someone who’d made it their default mode.

Indeed, _fucker_.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Hiroshi spoke with hissed poison and hunched shoulders, like a snake posed to attacked. “Coming to reclaim your prize after saving the damsel in distress?”

For all of Kyoutani’s disinterest in brawls, this guy sure knew how to evoke the need in him.

“Homeworks,” he lied promptly instead, barely resisting the urge to answer with a punch. If nothing else, the comment seemed to hint that Yahaba had broken things off for good, hadn’t changed his mind yet and had made the fight a matter that involved himself firstly. Had he taken a stance on the matter of bisexuality too? “And not in a million years.”

Hiroshi frowned. “What?”

Kyoutani let his brow arch. “Dude, the only distressed one in need of saving last night was _you_.”

Hana would be proud of him. He promised himself to rely the conversation to him later.

Hiroshi took a threatening step forward, to which he was just answered in kind. With a barely an half foot between them, Kyoutani stood noticeably shorter, but he’d reached the asshole’s face once so he was confident he could get it again, and his shoulders were definitely bulkier. He stood his ground easily, knowing fully well that he had both the physical and psychological advantage, after the last fight.

Predictably, Hiroshi was full of shit and stale air because he backed off within a second. Not without daring a scoff and one last glare to the door. 

“Whatever,” he yelled, clearly meaning for the people inside the apartment to hear him. “He’s not worth the effort, anyway.” 

Kyoutani tripped him as he tried to pass him by. The lava in his veins had stopped and crystallized in solid rock, getting cooler and harder by the second. He hadn’t even needed pulling his hands out of his pockets, and he still glared down on the guy half on his knees. “You’re not for sure.” 

Wow. Dealing with so much bullcrap was really tiring. How did Yahaba put up with it for so long? Kyoutani was ready to throw this ass out and be done with him for good.

Hiroshi sputtered a cuss, though not an homophobic slur this time. Maybe he’d learnt? How convenient. Kyoutani wouldn’t have said no to another couple hits, just to make sure the lesson stuck. 

But Hiroshi was fast to the elevator, all but with his tail between his legs, and Kyoutani couldn’t be bothered with chasing after him.

There was something degrading in knowing someone had faced a struggle like his and decided the best way to deal with it was to hurt someone else in the same situation. Kyoutani wondered, would he have acted the same without Ryuu and Tora and Misaki?

Nah. He was not that kind of asshole. An asshole, all right, but not that way.

He almost missed, deep as he was in his lucubrations about the general disappointment in him from his father and all his friends were he to turn into such a piece of shit, the metallic rustling from the door to his side. Still, he did _not_ jerk _nor_ squeaked when it opened in a slit to show just one spying eye and a slice of pajamas.

“Are those sheep on clouds?” Like, he wore those unironically? Shit, he’d have to reconsider his whole crush, that ugly thing was a fucking deal-breaker.

“Fuck you, they’re beautiful.” At least, it got Yahaba to slam the door open. He wore those godforsaken pastel blue pants with a shirt that said “ _Good night, little lamb”_ and his hair looked like a bird had started making a nest in there before deciding something had gone too wrong to be salvaged and blew it all up with explosives. If it weren’t for redness of his eyes and the haunted aura that came from his pale complexion and slumped frame, Kyoutani would have pointed every single thing out. 

As it was, he just elected himself to an eye-roll and a huffed, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“ _These things._ They’re soft and comfortable and would never betray me, ever,” Yahaba answered with a sniff.

“Then I guess it’s not their fault if you look awful,” _no shit_. He glared to the now closed and silent elevator. “Was he here for long?”

Yahaba’s frame stiffened just a bit before he hurriedly hid it with a shrug. “Has been since this morning,” he admitted. “Wanted to catch me when I left for school.”

“Guess it’s a good thing you decided to skip today.” Yahaba winced, and the tilt in his lips told Kyoutani a story he didn’t like one. Fucking. Bit. “Wait, did you decide to skip because he wouldn’t leave?”

“My parents left early for work and he showed up just after that and started pounding on the door.” _I was alone and I was afraid._

He didn’t say the last part out loud, but Kyoutani could infer it. He could understand; Yahaba had probably the physique to hold his own against his ex, but putting himself in that situation would have worn down on anyone’s nerves. It was scary as fuck, and now the temptation to take the elevator and hunt the asshole down was bubbling back to life.

Kyoutani frowned. “Why didn’t you call someone?”

Yahaba scoffed. “And who? My parents didn’t even know I had a boyfriend.”

“Literally anyone? Watari, Oikawa, Iwaizumi?” _Me._ “They would have come even if you didn’t explain them every detail.”

For some reason, Yahaba looked taken aback from the suggestion. Like calling his friends for help hadn’t even crossed his mind, like he was considering the option now for the first time and just because someone else dragged it out for him. “Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_.” Damn this stupid boy. Seriously, why him? With all the hot guys in his team, why did Kyoutani have to fall for this idiot? “Watari wanted to come and check on you.”

A tilt of the head. Somehow, with the rat’s nest on his head, it made him look even cuter. “And why did he send you instead?”

Kyoutani would have bristled at the assumption that he wasn’t there out of his own volition, but to be fair he _wasn’t_. He was glad he’d come, but it wouldn’t have been in his plans for a thousand years if Watari hadn’t pushed him to. 

Didn’t mean he couldn’t throw the meddler under the bus. “He spilled the beans about last night to Oikawa and Iwaizumi and now he’s waiting for your wrath to wind down before showing his face again.”

“He _what?!_ ”

He couldn’t feel even an ounce of regret or pity. Good. “Turn your phone on, Oikawa probably filled your inbox up already.”

With a groan, Yahaba hit his forehead against the doorframe. It took him a good minute to stop sighing and hissing curses under his breath; time that Kyoutani used to stare unashamedly at his face. Yeah, those pretty lines were the reason he was not stuck pining after this dumbass. Worth it? Maybe.

When he opened his eyes again, though, Yahaba searched his face with a miserable look. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”

_Uh._ That was hard. On one hand, yes? He put himself into a dead end knowingly, laid his head on the block thinking nobody was going to lower the blade, and that was so stupid on so many levels. But on the other hand, Yahaba was an high schooler with a crush; making stupid decisions was basically in his job description. It didn’t mean he deserved the heart-break and the hurtful words. Not telling anyone but Watari had been the most fucked up part of the situation, but the whole situation had been so coated in secrecy and reclusiveness, and that was probably exactly what Hiroshi wanted.

All in all, though, Yahaba didn’t need to hear the whole speech right now, so Kyoutani attempted a nonchalant shrug. “’t’s not too bad…” 

Except it was. Yahaba’s half-assed glare told him clearly that they both knew perfectly well how big of a deal it was, how easily it could have snowballed from there. The guy had been hounding on Yahaba for almost a full day and who knew how long he would have kept at it had Kyoutani not showed up; it wasn’t normal behavior.

With the silent admission came the awkwardness. They stood there, Yahaba holding the door like a lifeline and Kyoutani in the corridor, hands deep in his pockets. He didn’t even have anything to deliver or anything in particular to say, and he found himself completely at loss of what to do now.  

He should leave, really, he probably should, but the idea of leaving Yahaba alone without knowing what Hiroshi had half a mind to do was holding his feet glued to his spot like thick relentless vines. 

Yahaba huffed, and hit his head against the doorframe again. “I’m an idiot.”

Now, _that_ Kyoutani was not going to question. It was about time the truth was spread.

“Like,” Yahaba hesitated, staring at empty air with a faraway look in his eyes and his teeth nibbling lightly on his lower lip. Kyoutani hated how his eyes were drawn to the movement and cursed mentally as he forced his gaze to move higher. “I know not everybody’s lucky as me. I mean, just look at what happened to Iwaizumi-san? And he was lucky that Oikawa-san’s parents took him in. I know I have some kind of… fucking privilege, with my family and all, I know.” He sighed, eyes falling closed. “I just thought I was being a supportive boyfriend, not pushing him to come out and stuff.”

Kyoutani’s brain was brought violently back on solid ground as those words filled the air. He frowned, unable to keep watching Yahaba talking himself into justifying the asshole. 

“There’s hiding and there’s cheating,” he muttered. “You know they’re not the same.” Or at least he fucking hoped so, otherwise things were going to get very messy very fast, just as soon as he tracked down Hiroshi again.

Yahaba emitted a sound in between a wet sniff and an ugly snort, then accompanied it with a mumbled, “Thank you.”

Whatever. Kyoutani knew to pick his battles. “Don’t mention—”

“No.” Surprisingly, Yahaba shook his head, and his voice gained volume as he straightened up and forced himself to meet Kyoutani’s eyes. “No, I mean it. Thank you, for… everything. For telling me that he had no right to say all that shit about bi people, for helping me see what he was really doing, for— even for kicking his ass when he threw slurs.” It was clearly costing him some pride to say these words, but he valiantly pushed through. “I really ought to thank you for a lot of things, Kyoutani.”

_So, awkward time._

Kyoutani scratched his head, unsure about which response was the correct one in case your crush-slash-nemesis thanked you for helping him break up with a cheater. He highly doubt there even was one. “Whatever,” and then he added, because he was hopeless, “I didn’t do it for you, I did it so Watari would stop fucking bothering me.”

He was ready to eat his own tongue just to prevent such dumbassery to ever pass his lips again when Yahaba giggled. He _giggled_. The nerve. “Oh, right, the terrible Shinji torture, how could I forget?”

Oh, well, if he could play along. “Yeah, don’t get any weird idea.”

“I would never,” but the smile on his lips was turning sad again.

Kyoutani watched him bite his lip again and shake his head, eyes getting suddenly wetter, for two seconds before one fat tear escaped him and his brain decided it was already one tear too many for someone like Hiroshi.

“Ugh. Stop crying, okay?” _Not so harsh, idiot! Tone it down!_ “Look… want to go to the cinema?” People Kyoutani’s age liked going to the cinema, right? He never really went much because sitting still for two hours or so was a feat in itself, not some fun time, but if it’d stop Yahaba from bailing his eyes out in sheep patterned pajamas then so be it. He could take it.

Instead, Yahaba sniffed again. “I don’t really want people to see me like this, to be honest.”

Kyoutani made a show of taking his appearance in, head to toe and back up again. “ _Right_ ,” he drawled. “You look like a homeless teenager in need of rescue. Someone would call social services on your parents.”

“Fuck you, KyouKen, I told you this is my favorite pajama.”

“Jesus, you’re—”

“Want to come in?”

“Uh?” _Wait, what._ When did this happen and who fucking authorized it? Surely not Kyoutani, nope.

“Just—” Yahaba shrugged, taking a step aside to open up the path to the inside of his apartment. “You talked about cinema and now I want to watch a movie. Come on, I’ll add snacks to the offer.” For a moment, Kyoutani was too speechless to answer and Yahaba hesitated before adding, in a much more remiss tone, “Please?”

There was toomuch vulnerability in that word. Yahaba was a patented asshole who played angel for the adults and then threw people at the walls looking all angry and sexy, he was not the kind of person to ask for anything and much less to beg for it. 

The emptiness on the rug in the entrance door reminded Kyoutani, suddenly, that Yahaba was still alone and his crazy ex had been tormenting him all day.

He had barely finished composing the thought that already a muttered, “‘kay,” was passing his lips. To tone it down, Kyoutani made sure to scowl. “But no shitty rom-coms!”

Yahaba slammed their shoulders together as he moved to step in. “Fuck you; I’m heartbroken, I pick the movie. Your duty is just to suffer through it.”

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_BadBoysAndAGoodBoy_**

 

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _He got you to watch ‘10 Things I Hate About You’?!_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I’ve been trying to get you to watch that film for months, you bastard!_  

 ** _TanakaSenpai:_ ** _its not you misaki-san_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _youre perfect_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _its just that you miss something yahaba has_  

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _kyus eart?_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _A dick._

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _kyoutanis undying love! <3_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _WTF MISAKI-SAN NO_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _ID NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _YOU KNOW THATS NOT WHAT I THINK_  

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Ryuu, chill._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _It was just a joke, I know you wouldn’t say something like that._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Thanks._  

 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _I hate you all._  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _Except Tora._  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _Tora, you’re good._  

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _:D!!!_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _That’s all nice and cuddly, love a strong healthy masculinity._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _But if you could put your bromance aside just a sec_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _and get Yahaba on your phone,_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I need to ask him something._  

**_KyouKen:_ ** _What do you want to ask?_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Get him on your phone!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _No way! Tell me what you want to ask him!_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I want to know if you cried._

**_KyouKen:_ ** _I did not!_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _hsjrgeukahfal_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _llllg_

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _i dnt kno wat hes tring 2 say_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _1jdofrieh3hhk77sfa_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _hlllo i’s yahhaba nd YES HE DIDD!!?!_  

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I KNEW IT!_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Be right back, I have to commit murder._

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _cn I bee de alibis!!!? pls_

**_KyouKen:_ ** _You’re in a whole different city, but you know what? Sure you can._  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _I’ll buy you pizza as pay-back._  

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _YAYYYYYYYYY_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _~when hell cover your crime for a big pizza pie thats ammorre!~_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I know there’s too many letters in there._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _But I literally don’t care._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Kyou, I’ll lend you my boyfriend if you promise to cuddle him properly._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _He gets stress-spooked easily._  

_***_

 

The horrific pajamas apparently came coordinated with a sheep plush and a cloud-shaped pillow, both of which Yahaba had hold for dear life throughout the whole movie. Kyoutani had been stoically unresponsive to the many and many times either or both had been pushed into his side, waved into his face or slammed into any reachable part of his body in response to this or that thing happening in the movie or unfortunately escaping his lips.

Now, waving the cloud bravely in his hands, Kyoutani was venting all the frustration that had built up during the movie by returning every single hit to the original perpetrator.

“I did not fucking cry for those idiots, you dipshit!”

Yahaba tried to par with his sheep. “Too bad, it’s your word against mine!”

And Kyoutani already knew who those assholes he insisted calling friends would choose deliberately to believe. Great, so he was going to have his reputation ruined over a black-haired Heath Ledger.

Well, there were worse things, he imagined. But still.

He hit Yahaba square in the face, just to have the last word. “Fuck you.”

The asshole kicked his thigh. “Very eloquent, Kyouken, congrats.”

“Listen here, you rotten cream-puff—”

“ _You take it back right now!_ ”

Kyoutani arched a brow. “Or what?”

Yahaba turned on his knees, seemingly ready to pounce, but both of them stopped as they heard a clinking sound of metal coming from the corridor. Only a second later, a feminine voice called a gentle, “I’m home.”

Yahaba’s hands lowered the plush slowly. Kyoutani watched him deflate and how his expression fell into a vaguely panicked one. Instinctively, he reached out to touch Yahaba’s elbow, and the other jerked as if the contact had sent an electric shock down his body.

His eyes were wide as he asked, “I should probably tell her, uh?”

Why did people assumed he always knew what to do? Who gave them that ridiculous notion? “You’re probably going to get a noise complaint because of that asshole anyway.” He hissed a curse as a particularly pointy elbow dig its way through his ribs. “What the fuck do you want from me? She’s _your_ mom!”

“She’s gonna be disappointed,” Yahaba uttered, just as his mother’s voice called out his name, with just a hint of confusion at the lack of response. “I got myself in such a mess and you had to pull me out because I lost control of it.”

Seriously, this was what Yahaba was worried about after the whole chaos that went down?

Down the corridor, steps were coming closer now. “I don’t think _that’s_ what she’ll focus on,” but he couldn’t add more as the door opened.

Yahaba’s mother was a beauty to the eyes. Her hair were a deep shade of black which fell in soft waves, much like her son’s, all the way to her chest, and she wore a pair of thin-framed grey glasses. She was still wearing the scrubs uniform from some hospital, but she had something very maternal about the bent of her lips and the wrinkles around her eyes.

She blinked twice, as if to make sure she was not having an hallucination. “Oh,” she finally said, voice gentle, “Shigeru, you didn’t tell me you had someone over.”

Yahaba was clenching his plush in a deathly grip to his chest, now. “Kyoutani-kun came over to bring me the homework I missed.”

If Kyoutani had a little bit more confidence, he would smack the idiot’s nape right now. Yahaba brought ‘cutting to the chase’ to an whole new level.

Predictably, his mom frowned at the words. “Which homework?”

The sheep crumpled pathetically under pale fingers that looked crooked and unforgiving as a wolf’s fangs. “I skipped school today.”

Seriously, what was wrong with this guy? Kyoutani had to bite his tongue not to spill the whole story himself.

Yahaba’s mother stepped into the room. The gesture, mixed with her unforgiving way of crossing her arms in front of her chest, looked far too much like a countdown given, with promises of terrible consequences by the time it reached zero. “And why would you do that?”

When Kyoutani spied to his side, Yahaba was gaping. His mouth opened and closed once, twice, thrice, always letting out barely audible sighs rather than words as his face fell and tears raised again to his eyes. He guessed, that was how he’d looked as he tried to come out to his father.

“His ex cornered him inside.” Oh, shit, he forgot to keep biting his tongue. “He wouldn’t let him come out unless he listened to his excuses or whatever.”

“What?” It looked a bit like clicking on a switch. The woman’s arms fell to her sides as her expression shifted from _angry mother_ to _concerned mom_ and she went fast to her son’s side, sitting on her heels as she outstretch a hand to his shoulder. “Shige, what happened?”

Her first answer was a shrug, but Yahaba seemed a bit calmer now that the secret was out and he managed to look at her in the eyes as he gulped. “I made a mess, mom. I really, really made a mess.”

Kyoutani wanted to say it was definitely not him who should have worn the blame like a shameful mark on his forehead, but the woman looked at him as if he could decipher her son’s words for her and his voice died in his throat. He really shouldn’t be the one to talk about this. Heck, a week ago he didn’t even know anything about the whole affair.

Maybe it was because having the attention diverted from himself allowed him to breath easier, but Yahaba suddenly spat out the whole story much like he was throwing it up, unable to stop and viscerally disgusted by the whole thing. 

He told about meeting the guy at Watari’s place, about innocent flirting that turned into a date then two then seven before he finally heard about a girlfriend he’d never known of before. He spoke about two weeks of radio silence preceded by the accusation of being too pushy, too forceful, of demanding something dangerous that Hiroshi wasn’t ready to give; and then of the shameful arrangement of secrets and lies. The months hiding behind the pretense of tutoring and the hang outs watching him with her. He whispered, tears rushing down his face, about the previous night and the tension and then the slur and the fight.

Then he said, “I tried to make him leave, this morning, but he grabbed me and he started shaking me and I freaked out. I didn’t know what to do, so I pushed him and ran back in and locked the door until Kyoutani stopped by and scared him off.”

_Wait._

“You didn’t tell me he put his fucking hands on you!” It wasn’t supposed to come out as forcefully, so much like a growl, mostly because Yahaba’s mother was still there, but it ripped out of Kyoutani’s throat before he could even think about censoring himself.

Watari had to have that asshole’s address, didn’t he? Tanaka would come along in a heartbeat. Taketora and Misaki would need more time because they’d have to come back from Tokyo, but not because they’d need much more convincing. Iwaizumi and Oikawa would probably be on their merry way the moment the rumor came out of what happened. They could make him _regret_ it.

“Hold your horses, Mad Dog,” Yahaba huffed, voice lower than he’d usually use for one of his scoldings. “You were let off easy once, there’s no telling it’ll happen again if you break the other half of his face.”

“Make you a bet,” he hissed back.

Yahaba was rolling his eyes as he said, “It’s not a big deal.” _Not a big—?!_

Luckily for him, Yahaba’s mother corrected him before Kyoutani had a chance to. “Shige, if he touched you like that, it _is_ a big deal, okay?” She moved to kneel on the floor. “Can you show me where he grabbed you?”

Yahaba hesitated a handful of seconds. His eyes flew fast between the two people flanking him the way frantic birds chased each others in the sky. Whatever thought had been stalling him, though, started crumbling with a fidgeting hand to the hem of his sleeve, and then fell to clumsy fingers rolling the cloth up all the way to the shoulder.

Kyoutani saw red for a moment.

There, on his biceps, circular marks were growing purple; too many and too finger-shaped to be blamed on volleyball practice.

_Note to the self, get that goddamn address from Watari, politely or not very much so._

Yahaba’s mother eyed the bruises with clinical eye, touching them softly and asking about pain, before she finally allowed herself to frown down on them. Her hand carted through her son’s hair immediately after and Shigeru’s whole body relaxed to the touch like a well trained puppy to his master’s command.

Kyoutani watched it happen in silence, striving not to fidget as the moment of intimacy made his uneasiness grow even under the thick fog of rage. He had a feeling he shouldn’t be here to witness such a tender instant, but somewhen along the prodding of the injuries Yahaba’s hand had found his wrist and was still holding tight.

Well, he would commit murder before he let someone pry him off, as long as Shigeru held on.

“I need that guy’s number, Shige,” she said in the end. “Your father will give him a call, but if he tries to show up again we’ll call the police, alright?”

Shigeru’s shoulders slumped, a relieved expression on his face, and Kyoutani’s eyes almost fell out of his sockets. A warning call? That was it, all that he was going to get? A cop could get full fingerprints from the shapes of the bruises, for fuck’s sake!

Still, Yahaba swayed on his mother’s chest and she hugged him tight, muttering promises of safety in his ear and completely ignoring whatever apology he was sobbing in her cleavage.

Kyoutani couldn’t even remember clearly the last hug from his own mother.

He stood up, maybe a bit too abruptly as both the other people turned to him with confusion etched on their faces, but he grabbed his bag up and just…stood there. God, why did it have to be so weird.

“I gotta go.” Damn.

“Let me accompany you to the door as my son washes his face, Kyoutani-kun.” For some reason, nothing in that sentence sounded as a suggestion, and the way Yahaba scurried to the bathroom seemed to underline the tone of command hidden in the soft pronunciation of the vowels. It wasn’t the accent from around the area, maybe she came from another region.

Kyoutani let himself being escorted to the door and tried not to look too anxious about wearing his shoes and hightailing his way out of the apartment.

“You diffused a situation that could have ended up really bad, Kyoutani-kun. I hope you know.” The voice came as he was still on his knees, but Kyoutani didn’t look up to meet the eyes he could feel digging a whole in his skull.

Looking at his shoelaces, it was much easier to let the poison out of his lips. “He shouldn’t get a second chance, he should get a bunch of cops at his house.” 

“Perhaps,” Yahaba’s mother answered easily, unperturbed by his tone. “But the police would say it was just boys being boys and getting a bit too carried away. Guys like Hiroshi don’t need to know they have the upper hand, or they’ll just feel safer in doing worse; and guys like Shige don’t need to know half the people think they’re making a fuss for nothing.”

“I’m a boy and I’m not like that.” He realized what he said just in time to feel embarrassed about how pushy he was sounding. Hastily, he stood up, and added: “My friends aren’t like that either. And all the guys on our team. It’s not—“ _Don’t cuss._ “You can’t justify that as boys being boys, when it’s just gratuitous violence. What _half the people_ _think_ shouldn’t matter.” 

Well, that was that, he guessed. If he was banned from ever coming back, he could kick his own ass for that.

Yahaba’s mother just tilted her head to a side, appeasing him. “If you hadn’t showed up today, I don’t know if my son would have told me what happened.” Careful, she offered him a tiny smile. “Maybe my husband will convince Shigeru to try and press charges. Getting a restrictive order, at the very least.”

_Pick your battles, pick your battles, pick your battles._ “Whatever.” _Damn it._ “Uh, have a good night, Yahaba-san.”

“You too, Kyoutani-kun,” but why did it sound like there was an whole different speech behind those few words? Why did she look at him as if she was picking apart his thoughts like threads in a tapestry?

Kyoutani fought with himself not to run all the way to the elevator, no matter how prying the gaze on his shoulders felt.

 

*** 

_You’re writing to_ **_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai_ **

 

 ** _You:_ ** _Oikawa-san, please, stop spamming me._  
**_You:_ ** _I’m trying to answer you, but the onslaught of messages is making it harder than it has to._  

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _FUCKING FINALLY_

**_You:_ ** _Please, don’t cuss._

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _I’ll cuss however I like, Yahaba-chan, and want to know why?_

 ** _ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _Because a lil’ birdie told me many interesting things today and I am, to speak plainly, fucking pissed._  

 ** _You:_ ** _I am aware, and don’t worry._  
**_You:_ ** _I’m decently sure I can train Kunimi to be a decent libero in time for our first tournament next year._  

 ** _ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _I’ll put Iwa-chan in Guarding Watari duty._  
**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _Now, are you going to be a good kouhai and tell me what is going on, or do I need to grill KyouKen-chan for more answers?_  

**_You:_ ** _Kyoutani would sooner deck you than listen to more than ten minutes of your voice._

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _RUDE!_

**_You:_ ** _Can I call you later?_

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _…_

**_You:_ ** _I told my mom the main gist of what happened and my dad just came home so I’ll have to tell him too and I’m really just_  
**_You:_ ** _It shouldn’t have gone like this_  
**_You:_ ** _I still can’t believe I let it get to this point_  
**_You:_ ** _I feel stupid and I just want to punch myself in the face_  

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _How long do you think it will take to talk it out with your family?_

**_You:_ ** _I don’t know_  
**_You:_ ** _I’m exhausted and my mom promised we’ll try and make it as fast as we could_  
**_You:_ ** _I just want to curl in my bed and cry some_  

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _I’ll get ice-cream and come over_

**_You:_ ** _What?!_

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _Don’t worry, I’m not going to push you to talk or stuff_  
**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _I’m just going to let you cry in your pillow and stop your arm if you really try to punch yourself_  
**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _I don’t know what happened exactly, but I know you’re not the one to blame, okay?_  

 ** _You:_ ** _…_  
**_You:_ ** _k_

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _Iwa-chan will probably cry his heart out from loneliness and heartbreak, but he can survive one night without me_

**_You:_ ** _Sure thing, Oikawa-san_  

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_** _See? That’s why you’re my favorite_ ❤ (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)

**_You:_ ** _Thank you_

**_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai:_ ** _I’ll be there in two hours, Yahaba-chan! Don’t miss me too much!_

**_You:_ ** _I’ll try_

 

 _—— Want to change_ **_ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai_ ** _contact details? Y/N——_  
_—— Y ——_  
_——_ ** _ThatOneAnnoyingSenpai_** _is now saved as_ ** _ThatOneNotSoAnnoyingSenpai_** —— 

***

 

For someone who used to have a social life only once every week and always with the same three people, Kyoutani felt weirdly like it’d been months since he last made it home with the sun still shining outside the windows. Jun seemed in agreement, because after jumping him for licks and cuddles, he’d elected himself to go lay at Kenta’s feet in some kind of cold-shoulder treatment.

Kyoutani glared at him, and blamed the side picking on his father’s habit to feed the dog scraps.

“I forgot to buy groceries, so I was thinking about ordering something tonight. What do you say?”

He didn’t say anything.

He looked up and took in for a moment the picture of his dad sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of tea still steaming from beside the open newspaper. The reading glasses on his nose had been pushed to the tip so the eyes could peek from above the frame, and the shirt he was wearing was pastel green and simply fashioned.

Kyoutani wondered, did they even look like father and son if they stood side by side? 

There was also a stain of lipstick on the neckline hem, which Kyoutani knew hadn’t been there this morning when they parted.

“Kentarou?”

“Pizza’s fine,” he grumbled, though his stomach made somersaults in protest, probably striking against getting involved in _feelings_ ever the fuck again. 

Kenta muttered something that sounded along the lines of, _of course it’s always pizza_ , but it was an old recycled argument, an harmless banter that sparked up where there was nothing else to talk about, just to fill the silence.

Except, Kentarou had something to talk about.

“Did you ever forgive mom?”

Holy. Fucking. Shit. He could feel Hana’s hand slapping the back of his head. _Work on the delivery, dumbass!_ Whatever.

His father didn’t startle at the words. Simply, a smile in blue shades painted his face and he closed the newspaper, carefully folding it on its wrinkles. As he pulled his glasses off, Kyoutani wondered if he’d been waiting for the question to come, sooner or later.

Kenta looked up at him with open eyes, sincere. He said, “No.”

Kentarou nodded. He didn’t want the details, the knowledge of which way her absence hurt his father the most; he just wanted to understand why people still thought it was worth to try again after they’d been proven just how much shitty humanity was as a general rule.

The next words, surprisingly, came to him easier. “Are you dating someone?”

If his father’s portrait had been in a palette of soft blues and greens before, now it swerved violently into bright shades of reds. The way he sputtered around three different sentence openers was also quite amusing.

For a long time, Kentarou’s head had been filled with ugly voices. _Maybe if you were less of a problem, maybe if you didn’t whine so much, maybe if you got better grades._ Only with the passing years he’d started to realize, his father had probably his own share of ill-spitting demons blaming his wife’s choice on him. The realization, to be fair, had been the tipping point in his process of exchanging grief with anger.

From what he knew, Kenta had never been interested in finding someone else after the end of his marriage, and Kentarou had to admit a good half of the reasons had to be related to how hard he’d been striving to raise his son on his own, never mind one such as him.

He looked around his brain for a hint of sadness or rage or awkwardness at the thought of his father with another woman, one who wore peach lipstick apparently, but he found none.

Okay, that was a lie, he found _plenty_ of awkwardness. But when was he _not_ full of that crap?

If anything, he felt a bit smug on his behalf. He felt like a good news had just been delivered to balance out the whole mess of the afternoon.

The bare memory of Yahaba’s bruises sobered him up rather quickly, and he realized so when his father’s fumbling stopped and his face fell. “Kentarou?”

“Yahaba’s ex hurt him this morning, his parents are discussing what to do tonight.” Non sequitur and full gas ahead, that the Kentarou’s way. Damn.

Kenta blinked much like he used to do after accompanying his son on this or that roller coaster when he was a kid, far before Kentarou learnt what _vertigo_ meant. Though, he recovered pretty fast and frowned. “Is he okay?”

Kentarou shrugged, because he wasn’t sure. Though, “He’ll be.” He was sure of that.

Kenta nodded for a while, adding nothing.

They both waited, uncertain, to see what other truths would come spilling if they let the pressure add up some more, but the silence was left unbroken and in the end Kyoutani just wanted to get out of his school uniform. “I’ll go change—”

“Yachi-san is a nice person.” Kentarou frowned. A tiny voice in his brain celebrated that he was not the only one who came out with sentences apparently out of the blue, but most of it stuck to replaying the name in loop trying to figure out why it sounded so familiar. “We have been dating for a while, now. I was already planning on asking if you’d like to meet her, actually. She has a daughter just a year younger than you who’s also into volleyball, though she attends Karasuno. She is a—”

“—manager.” Oh shit. Oh shit, shit, shit. No way. Should he stop by the temple on his way home tomorrow and ask why the fuck was his life such a soap-opera?

Kenta’s beaming smile was too much for Kentarou to deal with right now. “Oh, you know her?”

_Sure, Yahaba tried to hit on her but got scared off by a third year, also Tanaka is viciously protective of her because she’s apparently a very anxious ball of nerves twenty-four seven. Bet she’s gonna love me._ “I’ve seen her around at tournaments.”

“I’ve heard she’s a really nice girl,” Kenta nodded. “If you two are friends already, maybe we could all go out one time? It could be fun.”

Kentarou’s head felt ready to explode just now. “Sure. Fun.” With his skin buzzing, he threw out some excuses and a random topping for his pizza order before hightailing his way out of the kitchen.

He must have murdered someone in his past life to deserve all this bullshit in this one.

 

***

_You’re writing on_ **_BadBoysAndAGoodBoy_ **

 

**_KyouKen:_ ** _Talk me down from committing murder._

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _pls dnt g 2 jial ill mis u!!!!_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _s_ _eriously Kyou?_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _d_ _idnt last nights brawl sate your need for fighting?_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _SHANK THAT BITCH_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _WTF?!?!?!_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HES TALKING ABOUT!_  

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Don’t know, don’t care._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _For as long as I’ll be under college application stress, all excuses for bloodshed are valid_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _CUT THEM DOWN_

 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Nice to know I can always count on this group-chat when I’m in need of support._  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _Hey, Ryuu, can I call you for a few minutes?_  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _I just found something out and I need help._  

 **_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _s_ _ure thing!_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _are you okay though?_

 ** _KyouKen:_ ** _Yeah, nothing bad, don’t worry._  
**_KyouKen:_ ** _I’ll call you now, then._  

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I see how it is._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I’m the only one who supports your dreams of murder,_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _and this is how I am repaid?_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _You fuck off with Ryuu in the sunset like Heath Ledger with Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain._  

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _iv neevr sen it_  

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Because you cried watching Finding Nemo._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _That movie’s too sad for you._

 ** _Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _y wuld i wathc smt sad???_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _movies r suposed 2 b fun!_  

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Objection accepted, you’re right._  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Want to get on rabb.it and watch something fun together?_

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _Cn w pik smt wiht no sex?_  

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _How does a marathon of the Ice Age cartoons sound?_

**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _:DDDDDD_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _x ryuuu nd ken_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _i tink im ok identifying as_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _Asexual Panromantic_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _Sex-Repulsed_  
**_Nekoma’sGreatAss:_ ** _so yeh_

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _It translates to, limit the sex jokes on the group chat, alright?_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Jeez, how long are you spending on a call?_

_——_ **_TanakaSenpai_ ** _changed_ **_Nekoma’sGreatAss_ ** _to_ **_Nekoma’sGreatACE_ ** _——_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _N I C E_

**_Nekoma’sGreatACE:_ ** _!!!! :D_

_——_ **_TanakaSenpai_ ** _changed_ **_KyouKen_ ** _to_ **_Top10AnimeBetrayals_ ** _——_

**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _Are you serious?_

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _I never joke about anime_

**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _I should have just committed murder as originally planned._  
**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _I could be spending the night in a cozy cell without phone, instead of having to suffer this slander._  
**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _Congrats, Tora!_  

 ** _Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _At this point I’m too afraid to ask_  
**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Ice Age marathon, my rabb.it room, NOW, are you two game?_

 ** _Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _Sure thing._  
**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _WHAT THE FUCK RYUU DID YOU JUST BLOCK ME FROM YOUR REDD.IT FRIENDS LIST?! FOR REAL?!_  

 **_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _the betrayal runs deep_  
**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _it demands blood to be repaid_

 ** _Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _For fuck’s sake!_  
**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _I’ll buy your meat buns for the next week._  

**_TanakaSenpai:_ ** _Two weeks!_

**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _FINE!_  
**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _It’s not even my fault my dad’s dating your team manager’s mom._  

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _HE WHAT?!_

**_Nekoma’sGreatACE:_ ** _KYOUKO-SAN?!?!?!_

**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _No, Yaichi-san._  
**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _Do you know her?_

**_Nekoma’sGreatACE:_ ** _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_——_ **_Nekoma’sGreatACE_ ** _removed you from the group chat ——_

_—— You cannot receive further messages on this group chat because you’ve been removed ——_

**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _REALLY?!_

_—— Your message cannot be sent on this group chat because you’re not a member ——_

_——_ **_Hana-chanWillSpankYou_ ** _added you to this group chat ——_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _Well, that was fun._

**_Top10AnimeBetrayals:_ ** _It was not!_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _GET ALL YOUR ASSES ON MY REDD.IT ROOM RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR I’LL TAN ALL YOUR HIDES_

_——_ **_Hana-chanWillSpankYou_ ** _changed **Top10AnimeBetrayals** to  **KyouKen**_ _——_

**_Hana-chanWillSpankYou:_ ** _I’m getting gray hair, I swear._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it wouldn't take me another two years to update this. And it should also be the second to last chapter? Next should be the end? Wow, I'm getting blown away by this.
> 
> Okay, first things first, a couple notes:  
> 1- Hiroshi's situation. I am 100% behind Kyoutani that the asshole should just find cops at his door, and if any of you gets into a similar situation call the police IMMEDIATELY. Yahaba's mom here is just worried about how her son would react if his charges are downplayed, what with them both being young and what with both being males. Again, gender has shit-fuck to do with abuse, okay? In any case, the asshole is out of the way for good now. Say "Hi, I hope you die in a fire," kids.  
> 2- Yamamoto's sexuality has been more defined here but there will be some more talking about it next chapter, and so for Misaki's gender. If all goes as planned. Eh, who knows?  
> 3- I know Kyoutani's dad and Yachi's mom seems a bit out of the blue. It kinda is and kinda not, I've always loved the concept but couldn't decide on adding it to the story because it seemed like a unnecessary complication. Guess what, I decided "I'm my own worst enemy" and to "write the story I want to read", blah blah blah, and long story short there will be some talking about Kyoutani and Yachi next chapter, but it will be really light and I don't even know if she'll show up physically? We'll see.
> 
> That said, I'm not sure the next update will be so fast because I have to wrap up for my graduation and my deadlines are on the 20th of July so, yeah. *yells into the void* All under control, yup.
> 
> I can't believe this story is almost finished, I'm so frigging happy?! Come be happy with me on my Tumblr, @agapantoblu
> 
> See you,  
> Agap

**Author's Note:**

> My first KyouHaba fic ever and I'm not sure what I'm doing, I just know that I really want Kyoutani to sing Adam Lambert and _I will get there_.
> 
> Jokes aside, I don't know how Japanese gay clubs can be, I know Italians are mainly discotheque-ish and not really bar, so let's assume the guys just had bad luck getting one too crowded for KyouKen. After all, they relied on the straight guy to find it (yes, Yamamoto, I'm blaming you).
> 
> But, really, can we talk for a moment about Kyoutani and Tanaka? Because they would be best bros, I'm sure of that! I know everybody thinks they'd hate each other's guts, but... just imagine it. Add Yamamoto and Misaki to the club and we're good to go.
> 
> Also, Oikawa is a good senpai. Kyoutani just can't see it.
> 
> This should be three chapters long, or so I hope, but considering I set the bar for 10k words a chapter I don't know when I'll manage to post the next ^^"
> 
> For anything else, talk to me at [Agap](agapantoblu.tumblr.com), okay?
> 
> See you!


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